epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Bonekickers Ep 1 Review

Army of God

Well that was truly terrible. The ads made it look so promising. But it was so dire. 'Relic Hunter' was superior.

Where to start with the wrongness? Well for a start, it doesn't have
dialogue, it has people speaking in trailer quotes ("Identify yourself, creepy caller.", "The virgin molestations of Caligula.", "We know Layglass brainwashed some innocent children to grow up believing they were holy warriors.")

Let us not forget all the nutjob Christians.

Our 'heroes' are stock types. Leaving aside the blatant Indy rip-off, our 'heroes' are thieves and murderers. But its okay because they're 'goodies' and let us not forget that they found the True Cross and BURNT it. They destroy millennia old sites and get away with everything.

The attempt at an overall arc with shouty woman's mother. What is shouty woman looking for? My guess is Excalibur with her interest in swords. What'll she do when she finds it? Burn it to ashes too?

The SFX were awful and the ad for next week looks no better.

AWFUL. 
Tags: bonekickers
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