epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Warehouse 13 Season 2 Review, Part 1

Time Will Tell
Artie isn’t dead, surprise surprise. There is CGI fire and Leena sneaks someone out the backdoor of the Warehouse. The team encounter the new baddie played by Jamie Murray of ‘Hustle’, 'Ringer' and ‘Dexter’.

Everyone is plastered in fake tan. Pete is an idiot. Myka is weepy. It turns out the bronzed people are awake, eeewww. Artie has no problem with that. Artie, Claudia and James run around CERN. There is another vault within the vault. The new villain is not grateful for her disinterment. James dies in a flurry of bad acting. Claudia is selfish. This was just about endurable and full of abundant absurdities.

Best Lines:
“So that’s how it works.”

“Welcome to the future. Let’s change it shall we?”

“I cannot do those stairs 15 times a day.”

“God only knows what that man has done?”

“Why call when I can fly 5000 miles, in coach?”

“I thought I was going to have to kiss that.”


~
Mild Mannered
Another ep is cast onto the benighted soil of this season. Artie’s mad hate on for James is gone, now he misses him. Claudia is repellent and as abrasive as a chainsaw. Myka is a bimbo. Claudia the charisma free rude twit needs to shut up. Killing James was such a waste.

A superhero runs around beating up people. Sean Maher and Jewel Staite of 'Firefly' guest star and display no acting talent whatsoever. This was farcical. The superhero is called Iron Shadow, the lamest superhero name since the Whizzer.

This has terrible dailogue, bad acting and is sclerotic. Claudia the hateful jerk is self obsessed. Pete takes his shirt off and shows he needs to ease up on the cheese burgers. I would rather be watching season one of ‘War of the Worlds’ or ‘Mission Impossible the 88 season’ or ‘Mission Impossible the 89 season’ rather than this.

Artie finds a watch James left for him. The artefact of the week is Charles Atlas’ trunks. Myka’s middle name is revealed and Pete acts like a moron.

Best Lines:
“Hello square one, we met again.”

“First he blows up the Warehouse, then he dies in it, now he’s haunting it? Dude go into the light already.”

“That’s troubling.”


~
Beyond Our Control
Some Regents show up and the agents stumble around town looking for an artefact. Everyone hates them because they think they work for the IRS. There was bad cgi, Claudia will not admit she was wrong, there is mention of Project Gemini and are we supposed to believe that Pete was once a marine? This was dumb.

Best Lines:
“I just moved here.”
“Why on earth would you do that?”

“Escalates how?
“Dangerously, comes to mind.”


~
Age Before Beauty
Someone is stealing the youth of models. Claudia shouts all her dialogue. Myka goes undercover as a model and the show turns into ‘Ugly Betty. This was bad with overwrought dialogue, bad acting and why am I supposed to care about Claudia’s love life? This show has done what ‘Chuck’, ‘Being Human’ and ‘Sanctuary’ did in their second seasons: fallen prey to seasonal rot. Pete makes an idiot speech, Myka wears an ugly dress, this was painfully bad and had an idiot resolution.

~
13.1
We get more of Claudia and her love life. Seriously? Why should I care? This is a crossover with the lame ‘Eureka’ and some non-entity from that show runs around inflicting himself on the viewer. He messes up the Warehouse’s OS so Pete and Myka fetch Hugo (Rene Auberjonois of ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’) who originally designed it.

Cue an evil AI, bad cgi, time wasting Claudia scenes and some comedy. This was okay.

Best Lines:
Do you know every former Warehouse agent we’ve ever known is either crazy, evil or dead?”
“Or all three.”

“That’s a bad sound.”

“The computers have taken over! Step one: kill Pete and Myka. Step two: unleash the nuclear arsenal and then bam. Pretty soon we’re all in human breeding camps wearing fur bikinis.”
Tags: ringer, star trek, warehouse 13
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