epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: The Hunger Games + Prom Night II

The Hunger Games (2012)

The film version of Suzanne Collins’ dystopian novel is good but has some flaws. Katniss Everdeen (the unemoting Jennifer Lawrence) volunteers for the Hunger Games to save her sister. She prepares for the Games alongside fellow Tribute Peeta (some bland unemoting dude) and they are mentored by drunken former Games victor Haymitch (Woody Harrelson and his bad wig). But in the arena, all bets are off.

The chariot ride with Katniss and Peeta’s fire outfits were the highlight. We get no real back-story to this world. We get no information on the collapse of the USA or the creation of Panem and there is no mention of District 13.

The brutality of the arena is scaled way back and the other Tributes are mere ciphers. However Cinna is a gem and the District 11 uprising is a good sequel hook. As President Snow, Donald Sutherland has OTT facial hair and overacts while Katniss’ BF Gale gurns. I recognised Katniss’ unloved mom as the actress who played another unloved mom on ‘Caprica’.

District 12 was striking, looking like something out of the Dustbowl while the Capital looks like a bad Lady Gaga music video. However the Cornucopia is a letdown, it is not what I expected at all. However I’ll be there for the sequels.

Best Line:
“She came here with me.”

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)

You can’t keep a bad girl down.

1957, Mary Lou (Lisa Schrage) and the gormless Billy are at the prom. Mary Lou ditches Billy to hook up with school lothario Buddy Cooper. Billy displays badly acted outrage. The hairdos and outfits aren’t very 1950s. As Mary Lou is about to be crowned prom queen, Billy throws a lit stink bomb at her. Mary Lou goes up in flames. What was her dress made of? Thermite? Nobody helps her. Billy feels a bit bad about it. But not that bad.

1987, the girlfriend immolator Billy is now principle of Hamilton High and is played by Michael Ironside. His moron son Craig (Justin Louis of ‘Stargate Universe’) is dating Vicki (Wendy Lyon). Everyone has horrible 80s clothes and hair. Plus it is nearly time for the prom.

There are ominous shots of school corridors and we meet future dead meat such as school joker Josh, Vicki’s friends Monica and Jess and school mean girl Kelly Hennenlotter (Terri Hawkes). Kelly who has utterly hideous 80s attire raves about her “totally awesome” prom dress to her gang of skanks: “It’s sort of Spanish and its RED and its got black polka dots all over it and its got this bow on one shoulder.”

Vicki opens a bizarre trunk in the basement and soon Mary Lou’s spirit is roaming the halls. Billy broods and Buddy Cooper is now an equally brooding priest. Mary Lou kills people. Vicki stares at Mary Lou’s fancy headstone. The 1957 crown is now the 1987 Prom Queen tiara. Everyone drinks Pepsi. Vicki sees weird visions. The students wear truly abominable PE gear. Vicki’s rocking horse gets creepy and Cooper does an ineffective exorcism.

Vicki slaps Kelly and gets possessed by Mary Lou. The fact Vicki’s clothes and slang are now 30 years out of date does not attract that much notice. However Monica notices when Vicki causes the perv teacher Mr Craver to get a Bunsen burner to his nethers. Billy becomes more unhinged and has Mary Lou’s ring. Didn’t it burn up with her? Billy decides to kill Mary Lou again.

More corpses stack up but it’s prom so nobody notices. Kelly’s prom dress is as big an 80s eyesore as you can imagine: red ‘Spanish’ looking with black polka dots and a bow on one shoulder and it is accessorised with cheap diamante jewellery, black lace fingerless gloves, copious amounts of glitter hairspray, black and red nail polish and a red hair bow.

Kelly is determined to be prom queen no matter what. But has met her match in Mary Lou. Prom night gets deadly as bullets, falling neon light fixtures, portals to the netherworld and angry undead prom queens imperil the student body. The ending is weird but this is enjoyable.

This was followed by ‘Prom Night III: The Last Kiss’ and ‘Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil’

Best Lines:
“I’ve had sinful relations with boys at my school. Many boys, many times...I loved every minute of it.”

“What do you go out with that square for anyway?”
“Because he treats me right and his daddy’s rich.”

“We’ve been pinned for a year and you never went this far!”

“Just gimme the crown.”

“1957 was not a good year for capes.”
“Wasn’t that the year the prom queen died in the fire?”
“Nice touch Vicki, last person who wore this stuff died. Oh I REALLY hope you win Kelly.”
“Well you better clean that crap up if you expect me to wear it.”

“I’m going to drink too much beer and throw up in the can. It’s my duty, I’m a teenager.”

“You have a drinking problem.”
“I drink, I get drunk. So what’s the problem?”

“Somehow her spirit has come back from the grave and she will come after you and me.”
“Jesus Christ Buddy, you’ve been celibate too long.”

“Little miss perfect is losing it. Another prom queen hopeful bites the big one.”

“I’m telling you guys, she’s possessed. Linda Blairsville.”

“I had my first job. I was repossessing cars.”

“I spent $64 dollars on my hair today, if you mess it up I’ll kill you.”

“Who won?”
“I’m not supposed to tell. It wasn’t you.”

“Hey Kelly, how’d you blow it?”
Tags: heels, movie review, stargate

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