epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Tape Tales of 2002 and 1998

'The Inbetweeners' Quote:
"I may go to be relatively hate free."

"Do you want me to fetch up my dinner?"

'Better off Dead' Quote:
"Go that way really fast. If something gets in your way, turn."

'Desperate Measures' (1998) trailer
OTT looking. Andy Garcia needs a bone marrow donor for his sick son. The only donor is nutjob con Michael Keaton. As the son says: "Something went really wrong didn't it?" Oh yes.

Cleared out a tape from 2002 and one from 1998. The 2002 tape began with an 'Angel' season 3 ep 'Heartthrob' in which there is much boring talk talk and the tracking is way off. Holtz and guest baddies bore and Darla is knocked up.

Best Lines:
"Don't say the B word."

"Here we are Holtz, please hunt us down."

Then came a season 2 'The Invisible Man' ep 'Johnny Apocalypse' in which show killer Alex Monroe annoys and pulls faces. A child named Adam is a typhoid mary. Alex wants to stuff the kid into an incinerator. Darien wants to save him. There is bad acting in this bad, bad, bad ep. Then came a season 1 'Star Trek: Enterprise' ep 'Strange New World' in which the crew visit an alien world. Archer's dog comes along because Archer is stupid. This was boring and had bad acting. Then finally there was a season 1 'Smallville' ep 'Hourglass' in which a seer named Cassandra sees futures. Lana leaves an old wheelchair bound man near a pond and doesn't notice when he falls in. Clark and Lex hang out. Lex drinks Ty Nant. Clark's future sees him surrounded by the tombstones of his friends, but there isn't one for Lex. This was dull, stilted and had bad acting. The vision of Lex's future kills Cassandra. He's in the White House in a white suit surrounded by sunflowers which die and turn to bones and then it rains blood. Alas poor Lex.

The 1998 tape opened with a season 3 'Xena Warrior Princess' ep 'Been There, Done That' in which there is a time loop and people die and there is unfunny comedy. Then came a season 1 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' ep 'Witch' in which Buffy tries out for the cheerleading squad. Giles is a boring nagging old fart and Amy shows up. Why did they make Amy a baddie later on? Joyce and her bad perm ignores her daughter. There's bad dubbing and Amy's evil mother ends up inside a cheerleading trophy. Dull.

Best Line:
"Another productive day in front of the television."

Then came a season 1 'Earth: Final Conflict' ep 'Scorpion's Dream' in which Boone learns the skrill are a sentinet race the Taleons re-engineered. I think that whole plotline was dropped after season 1. Lili's dumb. Boone's skrill is named Condor and Sandoval's is named Raven. Oh subtle TPTB, subtle. This was stupid. Finally there was a season 2 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ep 'The Dark Age' in which Giles' 'dark past' is revealed, Ethan shows up and Jenny is a hypocrite. Yawn.
Tags: buffy the vampire slayer, smallville, star trek, tape tales, trailers

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