epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Book Reviews: Humpty's Bones + The Web Weaver

Humpty's Bones by Simon Clark

This is a collection of two novellas. First is 'Humpty's Bones' in which Eden a whiny woman has to stay with her belligerent relatives in an isolated village. Her aunt has been conducting a dig in her garden and has found bones. The bones have been there since the time of the Romans and they aren't human. Eden wonders what the thing in the pit is and what the villagers know but won't talk about. She also wonders what is lurking outside the house at night. This is good and creepy. Then we get 'Danger Signs and Other Allurements' in which four idiot kids explore an abandoned military bunker and find it isn't empty. This was dull.

The Web Weaver by Sam Siciliano
This has to be the worst Sherlock Holmes novel ever. Holmes, his cousin/BFF Henry Vernier and Henry's bleeding heart idiot wife Michelle investigate nefarious goings on in the upper class. Holmes declares himself in love with the unhappily married wet rag idiot Violet. Henry gives us author tracts on how Holmes is capable of love and how the absent Watson is a hack and shows off his social consciousness.

This is boring, badly written and stupid. Holmes is of course utterly out of character so the author's Mary-Sue creation Henry can rant and take centre stage. This is dire with hysterical women, a ridiculous  ending, an obvious villain and Violet is a milksop who grates on the nerves. This is utter Mary-Sue rubbish.
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