epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

  • Music:

The Cape (2011) Review, Part 1

Greasy looking cop Vince Faraday bonds with his noxious kid and ignores his wife. Then he heads off for work hoping to catch masked killer Chess who runs around Palm City killing people. The police chief (Eric Pierpont of 'Alien Nation') is killed by Chess before the cheesy opening credits roll. So the police force is taken over by the Ark Corporation run by Peter Fleming (James Frain of 'The Tudors' and 'True Blood').

Vince is betrayed by best friend and learns that Peter is Chess. Peter frames Vince for being Chess and everyone thinks Vince was blown up. Vince's horrible brat son whines cos daddy won't read his 'The Cape' comics to him anymore. There are bad child actors and there are BAD child actors. This one is BAD.

Vince is saved by the carnival of crime who gift him a 'magic' cape and train him to be a superhero so he can get his revenge. Vince cares only for his kid and ignores the fact his wife exists. Vince brawls with a midget and a raccoon robs a bank. Already this is better than later seasons of 'Heroes' or 'No Ordinary Family'.

Chess has a minion named Scales (Vinnie Jones) who wears a cheap suit and shouts a lot. Vince and Scales brawl. The football hooligan Scales wins. Vince meets the blogger Orwell (Summer Glau of 'Arrow', 'Dollhouse' and 'Sarah Connor Chronicles') and they team up to bring down the deranged Peter Fleming and his fetish outfit. This was okay camp fun. It has comic book baddies, a charisma void hero, a bank robbing raccoon, an angry midget and the most horrible child actor. Which is why it only lasted nine more eps. But it had promise.

Best Lines:
"You're the one wearing long underwear and a cape."

"The yellow brick road is that way."

“You have one move left: run.”

“I’ll find out who you are. I’ll find out who you love. I will make them scream.”

"Say hello to Dorothy bitch."

The bratty son hangs out on a fake looking roof being rude to his mother. Peter wants to take over the city jails but the Secretary of Prisons (Richard Schiff) stands in his way. So Peter hires serial poisoner Cain to rid himself of the obstacle.

Orwell drives around in a fancy car. Vince continues to be an inept superhero and is subjected to Max's idea of poison treatment. It turns out Max was in the military, his wife Dana has changed her hair style and there is a lot of shouting. Dana gets a job, no thanks to her snotty kid. Will the brat shut up? Why is Dana letting her son run the family?

Vince creates his own mask from Chess' one. Vince is going nuts as his big plan to bring down Peter is moving with the speed of a Special Olympic hurdler. Orwell informs Vince that Cain is part of a big crime group called Tarot.

Dana works as a lawyer - it's sort of like 'The Good Wife'. Vince builds a lair. Orwell and Vince fight the evil Frenchie Cain. This was okay but why does nobody just shoot Peter Fleming?

Best Lines:
"Hurry up Borat!

"Somebody slipped this under my door this morning. Something tells me this is not a good thing."

“You are a psychopath.”
“People in glass houses.”
“Get thrown out windows.”

“Did you really think that I would let you get this close to me unless I wanted you to?”
Tags: arrow, dollhouse, sarah connor chronicles, the cape, the tudors, true blood

Comments for this post were disabled by the author