epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: The Ruins + Race To Witch Mountain

The Ruins (2008)
Idiots learn about some Mayan ruins and blunder around to sight see. The natives object and the idiots are stuck up the ruins being picked off by sentient meat eating plants. The idiots stomp around screaming and being stupid. Twerps die.

I didn't care about this. Everyone screams in petulant squeaks audible only to bats and shows no genuine emotion. Thank you Hollywood liberal intelligentsia. The morons fail to engage with the consequences of their behaviour. This was boring and I've seen scarier killer plants in the 1981 'Day of the Triffids'. This was all murk and bad hair. How do plants make ring tone noises?!?!

Race To Witch Mountain (2009)
A UFO crashes near Las Vegas and two snotty alien kids get into a cab driven by Jack (Dwayne Johnson). They are chased by Men In Black and an alien assassin. They have to save the brat's planet and Earth as well, retrieve their spaceship and foil the MIBs.

Alex (Carla Gugino of 'Threshold' and 'Watchmen') tags along. There is a lovely starmap scene and much comedy from the nutjob convention. It's no 'Hanger 18' but it does amuse apart from the really fake looking bullets. This is okay.

Best Line:
"You have the ability to fly at the speed of light yet you use a beat-up cab? I don't think so."
Tags: movie review

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