Lauren is a pastel wearing, prim snob. Sandy is loud, rude, rude and does movies called 'Ninja Vixens'. They both pass the auditions and start studying vowel groups. They are both dating Michael (Peter Coyote of 'The Inside') but they don't find this out until he dies in a flower shop explosion. But is he really dead? The duo team up to track him down and make him reveal who he prefers.
Sandy and Lauren scream and fight, show off their acting skills, display bad taste in a morgue and get involved with the CIA and KGB. Seeing as Micheal is played by Peter Coyote, you can guess how the plot goes. This is dull.
"That kind of evening, huh?"
"Not the kind you're used to. No money changed hands."
"Moderately enjoyable, largely forgettable."
Sam skips around in his horrible colourblind 80's attire and meets the Frog brothers, Alan and Edgar (Corey Feldman of 'The Goonies' and 'The burbs'). Their crazy grandpa giggles. Lucy goes to work in a videostore run by Max (Edward Herrmann of 'Gilmore Girls'). While attending a beach concert by a shirtless oiled up sax player, Micheal sees Star and is smitten.
But David and the gang show up to be bullies and Micheal wants desperately to hang with the cool kids. Star is a non-entity, she never vamps out and we never get any background on her or why Micheal cares so much about her. David and his gang are jerks. David is creepy but he does not have the mad serial killer eyes of an Ed Miliband.
While Sam is busy staring at his Rob Lowe poster, Micheal is having a bizarre initiation in the gang's lair. What was the point of the maggots and worms scene? Anyway Micheal gives in to peer pressure, being far too sensitive and starts wearing sunglasses indoors, sleeping during the day, brooding and being a bit of a jerk. The whole vampire thing doesn't dawn on him until he gets a serial killer look on his face and tries (and sadly fails) to eat Sam.
Sam calls up the Frog brothers and a plan to kill the vampire gang is hatched. Micheal broods and dosen't comb his hair, he also looks like he is on meth. Lucy is too busy mooning over Max to care. Did Lucy grow up in Santa Carla? How dumb is she? There are some dated pop culture references, rotary telephones, surfers become vampire chow and the Frog brothers are actually totally inept vampire slayers. Also David's gang make so much noise power walking around around in their buckle and braid covered clothing, I'm amazed their victims don't hear them coming a mile off.
This was good and is pretty funny. This film looks beautiful especially the shots of the ocean and the soundtrack is great. David is the only intelligent and coherent character. Why does the vampire blood sparkle? The last lines makes you look at the film in a whole new light. This is a classic.
"Any jobs around here?"
"There are some bad elements around here."
"If all the corpses buried around here was to stand up all at once, we'd have one hell of a population problem."
"That's as close to town as I like to get."
"And do what?"
"Are you freebasing? Inquiring minds wanna know."
"We've been aware of some very serious vampire activity in this town for a long time."
"Get yourself a good sharp stake. Drive it right through his heart."
"I can't do that, he's my brother."
"Okay, we'll come over and do it for you."
"You're a vampire. I knew it!"
"I am not!"