"They let the females putrefy prior to mummification to discourage necrophilia."
"I just got a call from a Noble Laureate who claims you dragged him out of bed to ask if he's missing a mummy. I assumed it was a crank call."
"He survived 3000 years in the Egyptian desert but he couldn't make it two weeks in DC."
"Eggheads killing each other over exhibits nobody really wants to see."
"Stealing her beef jerky man was just some way of wrecking her exhibit?"