epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: Rush Hour 3 + Dread + Warlock

Rush Hour 3 (2007)
Okay it's funny, the phone book joke was the best one. Still it is insubstantial and Chris Tucker annoys

Dread (2010)
Pretentious students do a fear study. But one of them, Quaid, goes off his meds and goes nuts. He ruins the lives of Stephen, Abby, Joshua and Cheryl. Somehow nobody notices any of the blood, screaming, gunshots or storms of maggots. The ending is nasty but if you've seen the trailer - you get the whole story. This was BORING.

Warlock (1988)
It is 1691 and an evil warlock (Julian Sands) is to be executed for witchcraft thanks to witchfinder Redferne (Richard E. Grant). But satan saves his minion and sends him to 1988 LA, however Redferne is also along for the ride. The warlock ends up in the home of two LA morons. He makes short work of them and is told to serve his master by assembling satan's Grand Grimoire and undoing creation.

The surviving moron Kassandra and Redferne chase down the warlock to stop his evil plan. Kassandra's dumb and possibly colour-blind. Redferne uses magic proving he is a hypocrite. Kassandra has awful, awful hair and is shallow, selfish and a bit dim. The warlock is creepy and smirks and is evil, evil, evil. The CGI is primitive, the flying SFX are naff and Redferne gets onto a plane waving a four foot long weathervane but this is a good movie. It was followed by two sequels.

Best Lines:
"Can I take that?"
"Over my rotting corpse."

"The uncreation? Only the daft believe that."

"Our interest lies in stopping those who would see all good falter. It lies in stopping the powers of misrule from coming of age. It lies in finding that damned book and thwarting a vile beast of a man who shall not rest until God Himself is thrown down and all of creation becomes Satan's black, hell-besmeared farting hole."

"Think he's just drunk?"
"Hate to think he does this kind of thing sober."

"He lays waste to all in his path; the place matters not. Hear me when I say he is evil. Evil absolute."

"Forgotten witches fly?"
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