epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Tape Tale of '97

Cleared out a tape from 1997. It had ‘Down Periscope’ the Kelsey Grammer submarine comedy on it. Okay this film has bad, bad blue screen, too much Lauren Holly, bad continuity and overly long gags. It’s a time passer as Tom Dodge (Grammer) gets command of a rust bucket sub as part of war game. He and motley crew try to evade Bruce Dern, William H Macy and Rip Torn. The XO has no indoor voice, the crew look like homeless male prostitutes and there is bad, bad stock footage

Best Lines:
“There was a fingernail in my food you fat ass moron! Yesterday it was a band aid!”
“Sorry Sir, the band aid was holding the fingernail on.”

“This stuff’s been on the stingray since Korea. This can expired in 1966!”
“What’s the matter Sir? It still tastes like creamed corn.”
“Except it’s devilled ham!”

“Prepare for dive.”
“Does he mean underwater?”


Then came a ‘The Pretender’ ep called ‘Nip and Tuck’ in which Jarod pretended to be a plastic surgeon. The vile Centre staff pranced around being annoying and it was all boring. There is no way the Centre could function with its Byzantine internal policy.

Then came the first ever ‘Earth: Final Conflict’ ep ‘Decision’. Da’an looks like what she is, a woman in too much pancake makeup. Lili wears horrible 90’s clothes. The opening credits were good though. It all looks dated and cheap. Doors fakes his death. Boone’s never mentioned again BFF is involved. Boone gets a job working for Da’an. Sandoval is not as antagonistic as he later became.

Boone’s dead meat wife is killed off. There are way too many extreme close-ups. There is no mention of Joshua Doors. Boone gets his CVI and a skrill, but the show would still kick him to the curb at the end of season 1. The resistance are untrustworthy. Lili annoys. This was boring.

Best Line:
You’re going to have to choose your new friends very carefully.”
Tags: tape tales
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