epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Tape Tale of 1998

Cleared out a tape from 1998. Up first is a season 3 ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ ep ‘Warrior...Priestes...Tramp’ in which yet another Xena look-alike shows up. She’s Leah and she is a priestess. Gabrielle yells. Leah is an idiot. Meg shows up. Joxer shows up. Hookers sing. This was unfunny and tired.

Best Lines:
“Looks like someone’s caught a speeding chariot straight for Tartarus.”

“What lessons can I learn from these wanton strumpets?”
“You don’t have to be a virgin to be virtuous.”
“Oh yes. You keep telling yourself that dear.”

Then there was a season 1 ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘Nightmares’ in which Buffy’s bad daddy shows up. The Master and the Anointed One hang out in their cave being boring. Fears come to life. Willow mentions her parents and one wonders where they vanished to after season 3. Buffy is a vampire, something the show never called back to. This was boring.

Best Line:
“When did they put in a cemetery across the street?”

Then there was a season 1 ‘Earth: Final Conflict’ ep ‘The Secret of Strandhill’ in which a 2000 year old Taleon secret is found in a stone circle in Cork, Ireland. Boone, Lili and Sandoval head over to investigate as seemingly Ireland has no Companion or CVI’s assigned to it.

There are bad Irish accents. Da’an calls Boone and Sandoval: “My implants.” Lt Siobhan Beckett who is security for the UK companion runs around Cork being annoying. Did the Taelon arrival change the entire geography and political landscape of Ireland?

Jonathan Doors lurks in his cellar HQ giving off repressed anger vibes. Sandoval and Beckett flirt which in season 2 lead to the arrival of the dreadful show killing Liam character. This was dire and apparently no-one noticed they built a pub on an alien grave.

Finally there was an ep of ‘The X Files’ entitled ‘Redux part 2’ in which Scully is dying. Captain charisma Mulder acts like a twit. Men in cheap suits mutter at each other. Scully’s brother annoys. A microchip is TPTB’s asspull resolution to the whole Scully is dying plotline. Samantha shows up again, this show had more Very Special Episodes than ‘Blossom’. People get shot. This was underlit crud.
Tags: buffy the vampire slayer, tape tales, xfiles
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