epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Trailers and Tape Tales

Star Trek Deep Space Nine’ ep 1x09 trailer
Aahh ‘The Passenger’ a good ep with no follow up.

Star Trek The Next Generation’ ep 7x15 trailer
Aahhh ‘Lower Decks’, nice ep shame the trailer is a bit iffy and why oh why weren’t these characters in ‘Voyager’?

Taylor Lautner does not take his shirt off. Instead he finds out his parents may not be his parents. People chase him including Alfred Molina and he does stunts. This looks good: “If this is for real then who are those people living in your house?”

Cleared out two tapes. One from 199-something and the other is from 2002. Up first we have the 199? tape. We begin with the ‘Star Trek Voyager’ ep ‘The Omega Directive’. Seven does her ‘intense’ voice as the ship encounters the Omega molecule. Janeway has to carry out the Omega Directive and stop it. Seven objects as Borg worship the Omega molecule.

Janeway is all large ham, her acting really is terrible. There are exposition dumps, a reference to the Genesis Device, unsubtle religious undertones, people wander around radiation without protective suits, Paris is apparently the only field medic on board and Chakotay mutters that Starfleet is run by: “Duty crazed bureaucrats.” This doesn’t hold your interest.

Best Lines:
“How many Borg were sacrificed during this experiment?”
“29 vessels. 60,000 drones. But that is irrelevant.”

“What are you planning to do? Stoll through a supernova?”

“We followed this trail of myth for many years.”

Then came ‘The X Files’ ep ‘Paper Hearts’ in which Mulder dreams. Scully is the Scully. A serial killer lurks and there is yet another explanation for Samantha’s disappearance. This was dull. Then came the season 2 ‘Due South’ ep ‘The Edge’ which is all about Fraser fearing he’s lost his edge. Thatcher annoys, an assassin lurks during a summit. This was unfunny navel gazing and makes me wish I’d watched ‘Roar’.

Finally there was a ‘Forever Knight’ ep entitled ‘Close Call’ in which Schanke finally figures out via clips that his cop partner Nick Knight is a vampire. This is a low budget clip show. Janette preens, Schanke finally wonders about Nick’s behaviour, Lacroix overacts as per usual and there is never a good reason given for why Nick just doesn’t tell Schanke. Poor Schanke, his nickname was Skank and he got killed off at the start of season 3. This was dull.

Best Lines:
Don’t you think you’re over-reacting a little to this ozone thing?”
“Not really. Drive.”

“Should we be talking about an alcohol problem?”

Now we have the 2002 tape. Up first is the season 6 ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘Gone’ in which Willow’s idiot magic addiction is a major point, Buffy turns invisible, everyone looks anorexic and the trio do stupid stuff. Willow is living in Buffy’s house for some reason, Spike is the thing that won’t leave and Buffy hacks her ratty wig off after being told she’s an unsuitable guardian for Dawn. Well she isn’t. Dawn whines. This was utterly ridiculous.

Then came the season 3 ‘Angel’ ep ‘Lullaby’ in which Holtz lurks. Darla dies and Connor is born. Connor brought about the ruination of this show. Gavin Park (Daniel Dae Kim) lurks. Flashbacks show why Holtz hates Angel, he had to throw his vamped daughter (a bad child actor) into the sunlight. This was uh.

Then came another season 6 ‘Buffy’ ep ‘Doublemeat Palace’. Xander puts down Anya at every turn. Buffy works a McJob, why didn’t she get a waitress job like she did when she lived in LA? TPTB wreck Amy’s character, the McJob plotline is one of the nadirs of season 6.

Best Line:
Please continue the story of failure.”

Finally came the season 3 ‘Angel’ ep ‘Dad’ in which Lorne moves in with the gang. Angel cares for Connor. Holtz obsesses over Angel. People sit around talking. Lilah makes smug faces. Files and Records shows up, being an intriguing character she never showed up again as far as I can recall. Holtz gets himself his very own Manson girl. Angel doesn’t kill the Wolfram&Hart trolls when he has the chance. This was painful.

Best Lines:
“I like kids. Senior Partners took mine before I really got the chance to know them.”

“That whole thing is Angel’s file?”
“Just the first 35 cabinets.”

“Single minded vengeance machine.”

Tags: buffy the vampire slayer, star trek, tape tales, trailers, xfiles

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