epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: The Nines +Quo Vadis

The Nines (2007)

Gary (Ryan Reynolds) is an actor under house arrest after a crack and arson binge. He meets an odd neighbour and a nice publicist. Gary soon notices that there are weird things going on. Bad things happen. Then in a seemingly different reality is Gavin (Reynolds again) who is a writer appearing on a reality TV show as he tries to get a TV show on air.

Old characters appear in different guises, phrases are repeated, Gavin gets yelled at and then in yet another reality Gabriel (Reynolds yet again) is stranded in the wilderness with his wife and child.

He goes for help and meets a familiar face and all is explained. This is okay with some weirdness and a sort of happy ending.

Best Lines:
 “I didn’t mean to burn down my house.”

“I don’t do heroin."
“Yeah, crack is classy.”

“I’m a lot confused.”

Quo Vadis (1951)

It is Rome in the time of mad Emperor Nero. Marcus Vincius is a General who is attracted to Lygia. So being a jerk he stalks her, learns she is a Christian and berates her and yells.

Rome burns. Nero (Peter Ustinov) has Christians fed to lions. He also has Marcus and Lygia locked up. Marcus does a heel faith turn and stops being a pillock. They are married by Peter, yes that Peter. Then Peter is executed.

Then Lygia is to be executed by the day is saved. Nero is thrown down. Marcus and Lygia leave Rome. This was overly long, badly acted and really boring.

Best Lines:
“Rome will stand forever.”

“I command you to stop loving me.”

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