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Movie Review: Hatchet (2007)

Pa (Robert Englund) and his idiot son fall victim to something in the swamp, which is very bright at night. Soon Mardi Gras in New Orleans and a group of people want to go on a swamp ghost tour. Growly voiced Tony Todd (of ‘Candyman’) has a cameo as a former tour guide.

It goes from day to night very quickly as various people end up on the swamp tour lead by Shawn (Parry Shen of ‘The Hazing’). Shawn is an inept guide and crashes the boat onto a rock stranding them.

So Ben, MaryBeth, Marcus, Misty (Mercedes McNab of ‘Angel’), Shawn, Shapiro, Jenna and Mr and Mrs Permatteo stagger around the swamp and run into local urban legend Victor Crowley. MaryBeth turns out to be Pa’s daughter and she tells them about Victor Crowley and why he’s chasing them with a hatchet while wearing bad make-up.

There is comedy, screaming, stupidity and ill timed rain. It’s like ‘Scooby-Doo’ and it’s good.

Best Lines:
“You little con artist.”

“These are his woods.”

“Tell me this is part of the tour.”
“Oh yeah, I sink the boat every night. It’s hilarious.”
“I want my money back.”

“Y’all gonna die.”

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