Annie and her gang crash a child’s birthday party to arrest a cartel guy. His wife goes on a roaring rampage of revenge. Annie and her gang are a pack of jerks. So the entire cartel family is destroyed in a flurry of over-acting. Annie’s plotting and screaming gets numerous people killed and herself abducted. This was okay.
“I’m going to throw you out that window, you hear me?”
“When he found out I knew he tried to kill me. I beat him to it.”
From the makers of ‘Tin Man’ comes this inept reworking of ‘Alice in Wonderland’. Alice fancies the bland Jack. She wears blue dress and is an idiot. She sees Jack abducted and falls through a giant mirror in an alley and ends up in Wonderland.
She meets up with Hatter (Andrew Lee Potts of ‘Primeval’) and the ‘Tin Man’ plot is rehashed. There is an evil Queen, the evil Queen’s cruel enforcers, an artefact, long lost relatives and a resistance.
The Queen of Hearts (Kathy Bates) runs a casino where she steals emotions and the King of Hearts (Colm Meaney) hangs around like a bad smell. The characters annoy and there is weird line delivery. Tim Curry pulls faces, a rabbit headed assassin is unleashed and the White Knight (Matt Frewer) shows up.
Jack annoys, Dr Dee & Dr Dum question Alice and people fly around on pink metal flamingos. Caterpillar shows up like a reject from a David Lynch movie. This was dull with bad acting. It was overly long at nearly three hours and had an idiot ending. It lacks the magic of ‘Tin Man’.
The con has a plan, a bad plan and ends up being chased through the jungle in a scene which gave me ‘Lost’ flashbacks. This was okay, I miss 'Moonlight'.
How did the con get into the hotel room? How do you dye your hair with lemon juice and mayo? When did the 5-0 team get that logo emblazoned on the floor?
“I didn’t appreciate him trying to gut me with a shiv last week."