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I miss ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys’ which was fun 90’s TV even if star Kevin Sorbo has the emotional range of a limpet. It was a cheesy, enjoyable viewing pleasure. Some of my favourite episodes are discussed below.

War Bride’ showed off Iolaus’ waxed chest. Two princesses who dressed like showgirls pouted. One of them, Alexa, turned into an evil war monger and other Melissa was abducted. Hercules and his ever loyal sidekick Iolaus rescued her.

Melissa was stupid, insulted Iolaus and punched out her evil sister. Hercules delivered the moral message of the week and one of Iolaus’ kicks missed a bad guy by at least a foot. This was a good ep but what happened to Alexa?

Best Lines:
Pretty scrawny for a manservant isn’t he?”

“You mean walk? How quaint.”

There was also the funny ep ‘Stranger in a Strange world’ which saw Hercules and Ares fighting over Iolaus. This lead to the sidekick being abducted to a mirror universe while Hercules ended up hanging out with the subliterate alt Iolaus who is afraid of him.

Iolaus ended up hanging out with the Sovereign (an evil Hercules) who has a beard and likes to beat up his Iolaus. The Sovereign is a monstrous tyrant and a heartless psycho who is plotting to wed alt Aphrodite (isn’t she his half sister?) who is modest.

Alt Xena shows up to camp it up, alt Ares is the god of love, alt Gabrielle is the executioner and alt Joxer is a rebel leader. There’s a sight gag with a food taster and the wedding turns into a brawl/food fight. The dumb Sovereign tries to kill Iolaus which annoys Hercules as he wants his co-dependant tag along back. This was good though the sequel to this ep was nowhere near as good.

Best Lines:
“Lose your little buddy?”

“Annoying isn’t he?”
“Oh yeah.”

“Start acting like yourself and start amusing me or I swear...”

“Sit on it until the wedding.”

“Insolent toad.”

Then came season 5 which made the fandom explode as Iolaus was killed off in the season opener ‘Faith’. Then in ‘Darkness Rising’ Hercules learnt the dark god Dahak had possessed his dead best friend. He responded by being as stoic and wooden as ever. No real grief or anger on display here, even as Hercules and Dahak have a showdown.

Their fight was a bit too camp and not early as dark as it should have been considering the subject matter. Hercules’ blank features miserably failed to register anything remotely approaching a plausible emotion when he realised Iolaus was not mouldering away in his grave. His reaction is to punch Dahak in the face.

Best Lines:
"I fought him the last time he tried to enter our world in Sumeria. My best friend died stopping him.”

“You still don’t believe it’s me do you?”

Then came ‘Let There Be Light’ in which Dahak and his black contact lenses menaces Greece with his creepy behaviour. Hercules wants to depossesses his friend. Hercules and Dahak have some creepy confrontations which work this time despite Sorbo’s non-acting.

Dahak is unnerving and creepy as tries to fake that it is Iolaus. Hercules still doesn’t react right to the sight of his zombie BFF especially when Dahak relishes finding the Olympian gods.

Best Line:
“If you really were Iolaus, you’d know that.”

Then came ‘Redemption’ in which Dahak is tied up, has his clothes ripped open and is menaced with a knife by Hercules. Iolaus looks rough and does a ‘Candyman’ style echo chamber voice.

When he died in ‘Faith’, Iolaus’ last words were Hercules and after his death. Dahak tormented him in the afterlife in Hercules’ form. There are freaky goings on with the scar on Iolaus’ chest. Hercules frees Iolaus and he goes into the light. But not for long. This was good, even is the Dahak arc wasn’t as nasty and depraved as it could have been.

It should be mentioned that after Iolaus died in ‘Faith’, Hercules soon picked up a new sidekick/love interest in the form of Morrigan a Celtic war goddess. However Morrigan had a bad Irish accent, picked fights with Hercules’ other friends, was a snot, neglected her child and fluttered around Hercules being all sappy. Luckily they soon parted ways.

Best Lines:
This body is dead. It is merely a vessel for the spirit within.”

“I’ve been called many things.”
“Yeah, I can think of a few right now.”

“You took something that doesn’t belong to you Dahak, I’m here to repossess.”

In the season 5 finale ‘Revelations’ Hercules and Iolaus were reunited. The best buds were together again. Sure Iolaus seemed to have no life outside of being Hercules’ sidekick. Iolaus got out of the light aka Heaven to be with Hercules again, his return involved ending up lying on top of Hercules.

After reassuring his BFF that he wasn’t Dahak, by doing a hilarious impression of Dahak – all was well. The duo fought the Archangel Michael and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Ares hung around and had no real reaction to seeing Iolaus again despite his previous interaction and collaboration with Dahak. Ares instead blows up a cow and has a bird fall on his head. Hercules fights the Horseman and the Reckoning the same way he did Dahak. Lots of patronisation and smacking people around in true Phil Mitchell style. Afterwards Hercules and Iolaus stroll off together to have more adventures.

Best Lines:
“No more stewed possum for me.”

“What’s it good for?”
“Absolutely nothing.”

“You will atone.”
“I hate atoning.”



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