epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: The Three Musketeers +The Hallowe'en Party

The Three Musketeers (1973)

d’Artagnan (Michael York of ‘Cabaret’) comes to Paris to be a musketeer and picks fights with everyone. Milady (Faye Dunaway) and her hats lurks. The three musketeers throw wobblies and fight people while wearing their high heeled boots, lace and feathers.

d'Artagnan befriends the threesome and they all hang out doing daring do. Athos (Oliver Reed) is drunk and brooding. Aramis (Richard Chamberlain) has a 1970’s perm and Porthos (Frank Finlay of ‘Bouquet of Barbed Wire’) falls over a lot.

d'Artagnan falls for Constance (Raquel Welch) while fighting the big cheese (Christopher Lee) and foiling the plots of Cardinal Richelieu (Charlton Heston). Bad wigs are worn, the idiot royal family has a crisis due to the Queen’s emotional adultery and much camp comedy is had. Oliver Reed steals the movie by brooding a lot.

There are numerous swordfights, the King is an idiot and Milady has killer hairpins. This was okay with a happy ending and then there was the sequel. But that is another story.

Best Lines:
Away bumpkin!”

“The rascal can sleep out there. When monsieur beats him for insolence his screams will scare be heard.”

“That devil has spies everywhere. That evil, filthy, revolting, wretched man. Evil, filthy, revolting, evil man.”

“In the Bastille, there is no afterwards.”

“This pass is only for one person.”
“I am only one person. That is a servant.”

“French trollop.”

“England is an island, how do I get off?”

Poirot: The Hallowe’en Party

Joyce a much ignored child acts up at a party and claims to have seen a murder. Then is murdered herself while everyone else is playing snapdragon. The pompous Poirot minces his way into town to solve the case.

This has an atmospheric start and the story does intrigues with a local witch, stories of odd deaths and unpleasant locals. But the resolution with yelling about wills, many horrible murders, odd behaviour and ludicrous revelations derails the story. This was okay could have been better.

Best Lines:
“Old sins cast long shadows.”

“All dead and mouldering in their graves.”

Tags: bouquet of barbed wire, movie review, musketeers, poirot

  • Quotes & Stuff

    Raspberry panna cotta – lovely. Ioan Gruffudd dumped his career ruining wife. 😀😀😀 I feel aggrieved. My ex = repellent. My ex = entirely…

  • Trailers, Quotes & 3 Tape Tales

    'The 355' trailer “ Put ourselves in danger so others aren't.” 'Roadkill' promo No. 'Adult Material'…

  • 4 TV Reviews

    American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace 2x02 Manhunt It is 1994: Ricky Martin berates Donatella and Versace may have AIDS. In…

Comments for this post were disabled by the author