epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

The Vampire Diaries Season 1 Ep 5 Review

You’re Undead To Me

After provoking a spark of interest in me with ep 4, this ep promptly douses said spark within the first five minutes. Stefan describes Katherine to Elena as: Impatient, selfish and entitled. He might as well be describing Elena, she is just so annoying.

Vicki and Jeremy get high on Elena’s old pain pills and then break up again like anyone cares. Logan is vile. It is not explained why Stefan and Damon haven’t changed their names after so many decades of undead life. Elena learns Stefan was around in 1953 and demands answers in an accusing manner.

Damon escapes in a flurry of bad acting. He also kills Zack. Caroline is a snot and Bonnie starts a fire. Bonnie then runs to her grandmother (Jasmine Guy). Damon feeds on a pillhead, who walked toward him because she is dumb. Anyway maybe someday we’ll get answers to what the crystal is, why anyone likes Elena and why Stefan and Damon are the most annoying vampires ever.

Best Lines:
We’re not family Damon, only in the most dysfunctional sense.”

“You believe there’s actual news to cover in this town?”

“Want to talk boys? I’ll call dad, at least he’s successfully dating one.”

Tags: the vampire diaries

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