Sherlock Holmes vs Jack The Ripper, no it’s not ‘Murder by Decree’. Holmes (John Neville of ‘The X Files’ and ‘Urban Legend’) investigates murders in Whitechapel. Victims sport terrible cockney accents and look too clean. Also one poor victim is thrown into a horse trough and stabbed but it is clear that the knife is missing her by at least two feet.
Watson overacts, there are touches of humour and secrets of revealed. Mycroft Holmes pops up, nobles and politics become involved and there are different versions of the truth. The killer is revealed and Holmes is shown to be truly callous. This is okay.
“My name would alarm you.”
K (Tommy Lee Jones) and J (Will Smith) protect the Earth from the scum of the universe aka a bad giant cockroach (Vincent D’Onofrio of ‘Law & Order: Criminal Intent’).
The MIB under the leadership of Z (Rip Torn of ‘Dodgeball’) protect Earth from alien threats. K is jaded, J yells a lot and bizarre aliens wander around. K and J have to find a missing galaxy and somehow fail to notice that it is on a cute cat’s collar, despite the fact being blatantly obvious.
Also K pines for his lost love and at the end of the film, leaves the MIB after 35 years of service and is reunited with her. Only for the dire second film to reveal that she left him and K returns to being a surly MIB agent which is really sad.
There are funny moments in this like K vs the dog and the super cat, but it does feel like a TV pilot. Also the unnecessary Laurel (Linda Fiorentino) is shoved into the plot. This is okay.
“That’s enough Mikey, you hand me that head...put up your arms and all your flippers.”
“You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.”
“Your proposal is acceptable.”
“You’ll get used to it or you’ll have a psychotic episode.”
“You don’t matter, in fact in a few seconds you won’t even be matter.”