It’s 1978 and Sam’s leapt into lawyer Larry Stanton III to defend Abigail from a murder charge. Violet’s bones have been down the town well for 25 years and now her mother Leeta Aider is dead possibly at Abigail’s hands. Why Abigail stayed in the town after the lynch mob incident is never explained. Why Will ran off instead of marrying Abigail isn’t explained either.
There is some terrible acting on display. Abigail’s daughter Sammy-Jo holds the key to the mystery but why did it take her so long to speak up? It seems Sam is Sammy-Jo’s father, nice. I’m sure Donna is delighted. Clayton knew all along that Laura caused Violet to fall down the well? No wonder Leeta killed herself. Abigail makes Violet’s death all about her. This is so deathly dull; you’re lucky if you haven’t lapsed into a coma by the time the closing credits roll.
Sam leaps into an incompetent bank heist. Al wears a mustard jacket, an animal print tie and I’m not even getting started on the shirt. Sam’s selfish, nothing new there. This is boring with some terrible acting, tepid dialogue and irritating whining.
“How do I keep getting into these situations?”
“Don’t look at me.”
“They’re robbing the bank to pay the bank?”
“I should have never quit the Dairy Queen.”
A Tale of Two Sweeties
Sam leaps into a bigamist in this excessively talky ep. He’s also conceited and talks down to Al. One of the bigamist’s kids can see Al so cue cute moppet sap. Al wears a loud shirt and a red hat.
The bigamist is a jerk with a gambling problem. His wives indulge in undignified cooing. Sam plays the ponies to avoid thuggish debt collectors. A third wife shows up. This was dull and utterly annoying and could make the hardiest soul cringe.
“You hocked my Christmas presents last year.”
“He steals my children’s allowance and spends it on horse races. And then he sends them to school with lunch in a barf bag.”
Sam leaps into a housewife so he can be patronising about the women’s movement while running around in drag. The housewife’s chauvinist husband can’t cope with not being able to control his women. This was boring and dull, still it was nice to see Deborah Van Valkenburgh of ‘Warriors’ pop up in a guest role even if the part was thankless.
Sam leaps into Dr Ruth. Who? Al wears jacket that has to be the worst thing he’s ever worn on this show. It’s made of orange sofa material with a check pattern and has leather sleeves. It also looks two sizes too large for him. Sam is contacted by the wet rag Annie (Robyn Lively) who is in trouble and she’s a whimpering, simpering mess. Sam whines. This is all farcical as Sam deals with an annoying couple and Annie displays no agency. Sam should be in the throes of a significant career re-evaluation. This is toxic, heinous and a cultural vortex.
Sam tries to do dark and moody as he leaps into a vampire. Is this supposed to be transgressive? This is the middling equivalent of roadkill as Al does bug eyed and Sam deals with his bride (Shae D’Lyn of ‘Dharma & Greg’). Al goes on about Count Bathory, TPTB meant Countess Bathory. Why is Sam so combative with Al? Al wears a jacket that seems to be covered in snail trails. There is a lot of organ music.
“Your vampires are fake unless they’ve got a dental plan in hell.”