epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Quantum Leap (1989 – 1993) Season 5 Review, Part 1

Lee Harvey Oswald

Sam leaps into Lee Harvey Oswald and taste goes right out the window. Sam and Oswald’s minds merge which means Sam acts crazy. Scott Bakula cannot do serious, weighty roles – the four year misfire that was ‘Star Trek: Enterprise’ is proof enough of that.

Al shows up in his usual Pimps For Less attire and casts a shadow and his voice echoes in a bathroom. Back in the future of 1999 Al broods and yells at Oswald in the Waiting room.

This ep is all about how there was no second gunman and Oswald acted alone. This is okay but the end twist about Jacqueline Kennedy was tacky.

Best Lines:
15 minutes ago it was six years from now.”

“You don’t know your Marx do you?”
“After six years in the Hanoi Hilton, I tend to repress it.”

“Keep your diseased body away from my marine.”

“You don’t have to yell Al, I can hear you.”


~
Leaping of the Shrew

Sam and a spoilt heiress named Vanessa (Brooke Shields of ‘Suddenly Susan’) are adrift at sea in a dingy after a shipwreck. They bicker and stare at the really unconvincing ‘horizon’. They wind up on an island in the Aegean with only Vanessa’s hope chest. This is an out and out comedy, it’s like ‘Overboard’ meets ‘Castaway’ without any of the icky subtext.

Sam and the shrike bond. Sam reminds us once again that he has no indoor voice. Vanessa and her beau spend nine years on the island and have six kids and no-one dies of scurvy, infection or child birth complications. This was good.

But why don’t Vanessa and Sam get sunburnt? Why does a grown woman wear a sailor suit that looks like it was designed for a three year old? Why is Al in pyjamas at one point? Why does Vanessa’s perfect manicure with the neon orange polish never chip? How did Al find Sam on his next leap so quickly?

Best Lines:
Your odds of survival are going down faster than I can read.”

“I always pictured myself growing old, sitting in a rocking chair, making my grand children miserable.”

~
Nowhere to Run
Sam ends up in a veteran’s hospital as a man named Ron who is tended to by a volunteer named Kiki (Jennifer Aniston). Al shows up wearing a tie made of mirror fragments. Kiki has a terrible wig or is it her actual hair? Sam has to save his depressed roommate from suicide.

Sam has to deal with Ron’s wife who’s a cheat who can’t cope with an injured husband. A vile male nurse bullies the patients. A hippy sings covers of Bob Dylan songs. Sam saves the suicidal roommate and sets up Ron and Kiki to marry. Why is Al’s cigar smoke visible and how can the wind blow his jacket? Why does Kiki never change out of her leprechaun outfit?

Best Lines:
The 60’s, it’s a miracle any of us got out alive.”

“I know her first name; she probably knows mine, just think of all the things we can talk about now.”

~
Killin’ Time

Sam leaps into Leon Stiles a hostage taking multiple murderer in 1958. Meanwhile back in the future Stiles points a gun at Al and escapes Project Quantum Leap due to their terrible security. Where did Stiles get the gun? Meanwhile in 1958 Sam has hostages and the police have the house surrounded. What to do? Well Al dons black leather and chases after Stiles.

Back in 1958 Sam tries to convince his hostages that he’s a good guy time traveller. While in 1999 Stiles can’t cope with the fact that everything looks like ‘Blade Runner’. There are electro-magnetic cars, hookers with LED outfits and voice controlled apartment fittings,

Al chases after Stiles in his mid life crisis mobile only to get shot about a dozen times, luckily Kevlar saves the day. And all is well. This was okay plus Al looks good in black leather.

How dumb is Gushie? Why does Al cast shadows as a hologram? Why are Sam and Al so well tuned in to each other yet Gushie can’t properly tune into either of them?

Best Lines:
When was the last time you met an illiterate speed reader?”

“If I could see you would I be talking to the sidewalk?”


~
Star Light, Star Bright

Sam leaps into an elderly UFO nut who has a brat son and equally bratty grandson named Tim (Morgan Weisser of ‘Space: Above and Beyond’). The crimes against fashion on display in this ep alone are immense: Sam wears old man high waisted corduroy trousers, Al sports at various times a bright peach suit, lame tie and a turquoise leather jacket.

Sam bonds with Tim by playing electric guitar in imitation of Hendrix and lecturing on the evils of dope. Then government types shoot him up with truth serum in their quest for UFO info only for Sam to spill his guts about Project Quantum Leap. This was okay, was the fact Sam kept letting PQL info slip ever going to lead to anything?

Whoever wrote this ep got the date of the Irish potato famine wrong and what was with the UFOs showing up at the end?

~
Deliver Us From Evil

This is a sequel to an ep from an earlier season named ‘Jimmy’. Sam again leaps into Jimmy a Down’s Syndrome man trying to cope in the 1960’s. Luckily he has a nice, supportive family but for some unknown reason his family are falling apart. Jimmy’s brother Frank (John DiAquino of ‘Seaquest DSV’) is thinking out running off with his limber secretary Shirley (Kirsten Cloke of ‘Final Destination’, ‘Millennium’ and ‘Space: Above and Beyond’).

Frank’s wife Connie is dissatisfied and lisping. Then when Sam touches Connie he learns Connie isn’t Connie but she’s been replaced by a time traveller named Alia. And she has her very own hologram named Zoë (Carolyn Seymour). There are leapers and holograms all over the place in this ep. Sam displays some truly bad judgment. Alia is smug, Frank goes mental and Sam blathers on about how Alia is his evil counterpart. Alia and Zoë vanish and time rewinds for no clear reason. This was okay.

How does Al read the hand link when it has no screen? Where did Zoë and Alia come from? In season 2 or 3 Sam met satan pretending to be Al and time rewound. Also Satan said Sam had no business putting right what he put wrong and Sam would never get home. Is there a connection between that incident and Alia? Why did time rewind? What is Sam’s obsession with the rabbit faced Alia?

Best Line:
“We clawed our way out of hell for simple assignments like home wrecking and adultery.”

~
Trilogy Part I

It’s 1955 and Sam’s leapt into the plot of a Virginia Andrews novel. Sam is Clayton Fuller who has a ten year old daughter named Abigail. Clayton’s wife Laura (Meg Foster) is in a nut house and the Fuller’s enemies the Aider family have suffered yet another tragedy.

Years ago Violet vanished, now her father is dead under mysterious circumstances. Leeta Aider suspects Abigail and is slowly going mad after losing her child and husband. But nobody cares about that, it’s all about Abigail. What is it with Sam and people whose names begin with A?

Al wears a pink lame tie. Abigail is an Omenesque child who Sam thinks is fragile. Laura looks ethereal in a white nightie. The Fuller house burns down. This is okay.

~
Trilogy Part II

It’s 1966 and Sam has leapt into Will, Abigail’s fiancé as he and Abigail are mid coitus. Sam sees nothing quease inducing about this and neither did the writers for some bizarre reason. The next day is Abigail’s wedding day and the fashion police need to be called.

Al wears some purple abomination and Abigail’s wedding outfit is utterly hideous. Her headdress is a bird’s nest of fake white silk roses and ratty veils and her dress is a four sizes too large mess with bobbles all over it. Yes I know they’re pearls but they look like bobbles. Then trouble is afoot for Abigail again.

A local boy has gone missing and who do the townsfolk blame? Yes people remember the Aider deaths and turn on Abigail. As for Abigail? She’s more concentred about her wedding than the fact the whole town is after her.

Is there lead in the town water supply? Abigail does herself no favours. She’s in a hole, so she gets a shovel. The missing boy’s parents ignore their own bad parenting to blame Abigail and Sam lusts after Abigail. What about Sam’s wife Donna? Sam is so selfish and dumb in this ep it’s unbelievable. Abigail is dragged off by a lynch mob as the townsfolk go full throttle large ham. This was okay.
Tags: quantum leap, survivors
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