epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Film Reviews: Double Jeopardy + Young Sherlock Holmes

Double Jeopardy (1999)

Libby (Ashley Judd) lives in upper middle class tweeness with her husband Nick (Bruce Greenwood) and son Matty. Then Nick and Libby go out on a boat for the weekend, Nick vanishes, there is blood everywhere and Libby is convicted of his murder. Libby’s in jail and has her best friend Angie (Annabeth Gish of ‘The X Files’) adopt her son.

Then by chance during a phone call she learns that Nick and Angie set up the entire thing and framed her so they could run off together. Libby broods and plots vengeance and her jailhouse buddies coach her on how to impress the parole board. So after just six years she gets parole and ends up in a half way house run by Travis (Tommy Lee Jones). He’s a hardcase prompting Libby to ask: “What the hell’s wrong with that guy?”

Libby jumps parole and Travis chases after her like he’s Sam Gerard or something. Libby tries to track down her no good no account husband and learns that Angie is dead. We never get any reasons why Angie the ho did such a terrible thing to her friend. Nick’s love of art enables Libby to track him to New Orleans.

The smug Nick has a new name, a bad fake southern accent and 80’s dress sense. Nick and Libby meet up and the film grinds to a halt as Nick’s annoyingness affects its function. Also Libby acts stupidly likes she’s on a mepherdrone binge. Still this is a good film even if the ending does fall apart.

How did Libby sleep through Nick’s ‘murder’? Why’d she pick up the knife? How did Nick get off the boat? How did Libby get the life insurance if she was in jail of Nick’s murder? Why did Travis leave her alone on the ferry? How did Nick fake the provenance on his art work? Why is only Travis after Libby?

Best Lines:
Five cartons says she offs herself inside of six months.”

“Heard you did your husband. He probably deserved it.”
“Mine did.”

“You will observe all the rules in this facility. This means no fighting, no fornicating, no drinking, no drugs, no exceptions, no excuses.”

“What are you talking to me for? She’s the one with the gun.”

“I’ll have you arrested for stupidity.”

Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)

This adventure fancifully suggests another way Holmes and Watson might have started their partnership. This film says the duo meet at boarding school where Watson looked like Harry Potter and everyone called him fat while Holmes was rat faced and obsessed with Elizabeth, the token woman.

Watson is a clumsy idiot and Holmes is a snooty, stuck-up jerk who doesn’t want to be alone. Don’t worry mate, you’ve met your life partner and it isn’t Elizabeth. Various people near the school are dying via 1980’s SFX. The stained glass attack is rather good. So the bored coped up Holmes and Watson investigate as they lurk around the school like the Phantom of the Opera.

Watson buys a pipe and acts like he’s 45 when he appears to be about 9. Holmes comes up against Osiris worshipers. This film is a bit diverting but what is the point of it? The film is better when scenes don’t involve creepy rituals, the utterly superfluous Elizabeth and the cultists and their obscurely malevolent motives. Lestrade shows up as the village cooper. We get hints of Holmes’ background. It takes the duo forever to figure out that the school fencing master Rathe is the baddie. Elizabeth dies prettily. Holmes is sad. Rathe gets away and changes his name to Moriarity. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“I would rather die a gruesome and horrible death.”
“Very well and I will oblige.”

“You fight like an undernourished child.”
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