epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Sorority Row (2009) Review

They’ve remade ‘Prom Night’, ‘The Omen’, ‘The Stepfather’, ‘Halloween’, ‘When A stranger Calls’, ‘April Fool’s Day’, ‘Black Christmas’, ‘My Bloody Valentine’, ‘Friday the 13th’, ‘The Hills Have Eyes’ and now this.

A wild party on the Theta Pi sorority leads to a prank that goes wrong leading to the murder of Megan (Audrina Partridge). The nasty sorority sisters cover it up. Eight months pass and now someone’s killing off various people involved in the crime and the cover up.

Ellie (Rumer Willis) screams a lot, Mrs Crenshaw (Carrie Fisher) is ignored, Jessica is mean, Cassidy is nice and various other people are rude. Chugs meets her death via a wine bottle. A lot of dialogue is incoherently muttered. People act like jerks and you don’t care about them or this movie.

Idiots go and investigate the scary noise like Mickey the idiot who gets killed off. Other characters are callous and oblivious. How does nobody notice someone running around a college campus killing people with a pimped out tire iron? People wander off by themselves and die. The revelation of the killer is idiotic. Mostly everyone in this film is horrible.

Apart from some waspish one liners, this is utterly forgettable stuff.

Best Lines:
Garret cheated on me.”
“Didn’t you cheat on him first?”

“Now let’s go wash the blood off in the lake and get back to the party.”

“The last time I saw that jacket you wrapped it around a dead body and dropped it down a mineshaft.”

“Maybe Megan came back from the dead and she wants to kill us.”

“You make it sound like the tire iron killed Megan by itself.”

“Where is everybody?”
“Probably dead.”
“Yeah and then the corpses drove their cars home, idiot.”

“Who the hell lit the house on fire?”

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