Ice House+Impeachment 3x10+Pretty Little Liars The Perfectionists 1x08+Alex Rider 1x05-1x08 Reviewed
The Ice House (1978)
This BBC christmas horror has naked sweaty men and an incoherent plot. Is this Eton? Hell is other people or something. A man (John Stride of 'Growing Rich') ignores all evidence of wrongness at a chintz filled 'health farm' or 'country retreat' or wherever it is he is staying after a divorce. He stares at a plant. A weird and creepy brother and sister lurk talking in mannered fashion. They are obvious raving lunatics. Evil is a afoot. Croquet is played. Flowers that look like men's bits lurk. The brother is named Clovis. There are hints and an ice house. The 'hero' has no sense. This was deeply weird.
Best Lines:
“Disapprove of our manner of life.”
“Quaint old fashioned ways.”
“Very little sense of what is proper.”
“Horrifying and is increasing.”
“Country noises!”
“The buses have ceased to run.”
“Dare one ask for a cutting?”
“NO!”
“Locked?”
“No.”
“Built for that.”
“My service does not please.”
“Struck off the lawn.”
“Hole in my window.”
“Village people do not like to come.”
“Solitary people enticed.”
“You are distressed, that has distressed us.”
“Allow no children.”
“And no dogs.”
~
The Wilderness
It is 1998 and Monica is to work with writer Andrew Morton. A poster for the musical 'The Scarlet Pimpernel' is seen. The Starr report is deeply sleazy and it is released. Starr thinks he is Charlton Heston in one of his biblical epics. Matt Drudge screams. Ann is sleazy as is Mike. The report is put on the internet via floppy disk. AOL is read. Matt Drudge uses a tone. Chelsea reads the report. Linda wants to return to her duty station. Lina whines. Paula makes desperate choices. Paula has a never before seen child.
Dr Joyce Brothers mocks Monica. There is talk of Hillary running in NY. Penthouse magazine made Paula an offer. Paula has issues and her 'friends' ditch her. Why is the White House so underlit? Clinton gets trailer park real fast. There are denials and no healthy life skills. Linda's paranoid. Hillary wears a Chairman Mao pantsuit.
1999 arrives. Monica is questioned 22 times. Linda faces trenchant opposition. 'George' magazine is mentioned as is JFK Jnr. Human Abedin and Annie Liebovitz lurk. Linda has no continuing engagment with reality. This was okay. People and events are obstinate, inconvenient and discomfiting. This was not essential.
Best Lines:
“We need to pay for these lawyers.”
“Celebrity Psychic Friends Network.”
“Unceasing nightmare.”
“Locked out of my job.”
“Sneered at.”
“Intent to arouse.”
“Inevitably come to nothing.”
“I am proud of this report.”
“Don't look at it.”
“Poor Monica.”
“The whole internet is down.”
“THE GOVERNMENT IS FALLING! FIX IT!”
“One of palpable shock.”
“Even he can't withstand this.”
“He embarrassed humanity.”
“Charged emotions.”
“You did a hideous thing.”
“Market's gone soft.”
“Small, conservative presses.”
“Finally has the attention she has always craved.”
“This is how history will change.”
“Nobody deserves Linda Tripp.”
“Radio Shack tape recorder.”
“Sealed evidence.”
“Target calls.”
“This I cannot defend.”
“Few tasteful photos. Real tasteful.”
“Nobody is around anymore!”
“Lunatic right.”
“What does it say? Be specific!”
“Create a lie about me.”
“She used to have dignity.”
“What's it like to be incredibly notorious?”
“Too famous to be on their kill list.”
“Monica's doing a book.”
“Thonged the President.”
“History will savage them.”
“Dragnet meets 'Star Trek'.”
“Dawn of a new conservative ra.”
“They're who America want in power.”
“The stupidest Bush for President.”
“Walking out of our family.”
“He chose to do nothing.”
“Vicious, awful person.”
“Only ask nice quesitons.”
“She was his victim.”
“Hillary, a walking void of charisma.”
~
Hook, Line And Booker
This show is so boring. Alison has an ex wife?
Best Lines:
“I don't care if you mind.”
“Where's your safe place?”
“If I told you. It wouldn't be safe anymore.”
“I stole your RV.”
“A dangerous crime that we all know too well.”
“Asking simple non threatening questions.”
~
Secrets
Dr Greif (no, really) plots. Alex is running out of options. This was boring. 'Mein Kampf' is quoted. There are depraved secrets at the school.
Best Line:
“Busy taking over half of Europe.”
Escape
The school is cloning students. The real Parker is locked up as his clone meances Alex's idiot BFF. Alex snowboards. This was boring. The mountain scenes were filmed in Romania. The scenery is amazing. Alex obviously never learnt the green cross code!
Incursion
Alex has been hit by a truck. So fake Parker is a cosmetic surgery created doubles, the doubles are actually clones of Greif. He slots his cuckoo clones into globally significant families. The French don't notice MI6 storming the school? Alex's dumb.
Best Lines:
“He's been planning this a long time.”
“A lot of people are supposed to die to make this happen.”
“Don't mistake me for an honourable man.”
“Attempting manual breach!”
Truth
There's an Alex clone. Alex has horrible friends. There is a bigger bad out there. MI6 never guessed there was an Alex clone. Alex and his clone brawl. Is Alex's dad alive? I'm confused.
Best Lines:
“These men will break you.”
“Do you even know which one you brought back?”