epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Movie Review: Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)

This piece of crap takes an irreversible toll. There is nasty misygony. A boy has a 'harrowing' life and sees his life as a sad situation. He does erratic behaviour. This sequel is not wonderful. A 'valiant' and 'misguided' dude-bro goes back into the game. People are casual. There is dull repertoire. This was not hilarious or ingenious.


There are stratagems. This leaves you incredulous. This was unremarkable. There is no intensity. Boomers whine and have negative responses. This was ridiculous and full of insane turmoil. This was bad and a failure. An idiot makes idiot choices. This was scarcely credible.


This was unlikely and unwanted. This was unbelievable and it leaves one wearied. People have nefarious purposes and there is no 'classic dilemma'. There is no sense of decency. There are boomer jokes. There are malicious, perplexing, aggressive and coercive behaviours.


There are worried mutterings and curtailment of mystery. There are more boomer jokes and dramatic effects are negative. This was ill suited. Does someone have special learning needs? There are no good oments just a fat turkey. People are obviously ill at ease and bewildered.


This was not a naturalistic drama. There is bad acting and this was messy and vociferously bad. This was historically worthless and things are weird and unfamiliar. This was pretty ineffectual. There are no ominious long term implications. The future is unknown. There are severe ructions. This was not nifty. This was not amiable.


Nobody is especially wary. This was not heady. Colin Hanks lurks. This was the most terrible. There are defiant outbursts in this disjointed film. This was highly contentious and it was the most appalling mess. People wonder about survivability. There are rope bridges and unpleasant people. This was unwise and disingenuous. This was farcical and ill conceived. Dwayne Johnson makes lazy movie chocies.


Best Lines:

“It's all downhill from here!”


“Smouldering intensity.”


“All of you is a different colour.”


“He died but he's fine.”

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