Movie Reviews: Lady Boss+ Je Suis Karl + The Skeleton Key (2005) 🧙♀️🧹📚💣
Lady Boss: The Jackie Collins Story (2021)
Joan Collins and many others talk about the late Jackie Collins. Home movies and old photos are seen. There are talk of fruit flies and comments are made that you know aren't compliments. Barbara Cartland is seen in a vintage clip insulting Jackie.
Jackie's photos, diaries and letters are shown. Jackie's looks were dismissed by many. Jackie and Joan's unknown brother Bill speaks. Jackie's children speak. Jackie left an unfinished biography behind. She went to Hollywood at age 16 where Marlon Brando took her upstairs at a party without anyone intervening to stop it. Her literay agent worked for her, Pope John Paul II and Reagan.
There is talk of 'Hollywood Wives'. Jackie's look of shoulder pads, big hair, loud jewellery and caked on make up is discussed. A Hollywood x-ray talks about carrying a baked spud with her wherever she goes. Jackie was worth a lot. Jackie's 1st hubby was abusive. Joan boasts about dating Warren Beatty. There is talk of ECT, a dying father and a mad husband whom Jackie fled.
We see an old ad, Jackie's failed acting career is discussed and Tramp nightclub was visited. Jackie's 2nd marriage is discussed. There is talk of her 1st book and a a snotty review of it is shown. Sneery male critics (Clive James! Kilroy!!) sneered at her. Jackie wore leopard print. Her 2nd move to LA is discussed. Sandra Bullock starred in a Jackie Collins adaptation apparently.
Joan played games of oneupmanship. Jackie had difficulty moving with changing times. She was berated. A gigolo moved in on Jackie and caused issues. Abuse is hinted at. So many people had cancer in this documentary. This was okay.
Best Lines:
“Unashamed embrace.”
“Create the ethos of the 80s.”
“What she wrote and who was she was.”
“Mummy was on TV, a lot.”
“Greatest screen asset America has imported from Britian.”
“Scribbling away.”
“All big and clumsy and dull.”
“Get banged.”
“Looked like a tart.”
“Girls should know their place.”
“Nothingville.”
“Her walk could make a revolving door look stationary.”
“Unexpectedly enormous.”
“Jackie-land.”
“Very few people saw past the facade.”
“Variety circuit.”
“A lot of fixing to do.”
“Made herself.”
“Doping.”
“We don't use that word.”
“Queen of flash and trash.”
“Find an image.”
“Harold Robbins for women.”
“Big long powerful stories.”
“Their lot in life.”
“Nodded approvingly.”
“On that scene.”
“Screw me you bastard!”
“Thought he was the second coming of Rock Hudson.”
“Turned boredom into an artform.”
“Found her niche.”
“Your blonde tramp.”
“Worked tirelessly at being Jackie.”
“The Jackie she created.”
“Utter bilge.”
“A drugger.”
“That's always the trap.”
“It got bad.”
~
Je Suis Karl (2021)
After most of her family is murdered in a terrorist bombing, a young woman is unknowingly lured into joining into the very group that killed them. This was a dubbed social drama. There is no brutal clarity. This tries to tackle aspects of society. This has no subtlety or precision. There is complicity but no artistic merit.
This was drab. There are no complexities of allegiance or identity. There is begrudgery and this was not a taste-changer. I've no idea what is going on. A bomb takes out an apartment building. Poor dead birds are seen. This was not refreshing. There is no shock and outrage.
There is bad acting in this absurd drama about bellicose idiots who make ruinous choices. This was full of prodigious stupidity. This was the worst. People are defiant. This was not pertinent. This was not bracingly strange. There is a chaotic convergence. There is daftness and this was off kilter. This was not meticulous. This was cold and irritating and not angsty.
This was a crude litany of fiasco. Much is unexplained. This missed greatness. The plot is hurtling all over the place. This is about a grim unravelling. There is no trace of authenticity in this banal mess. There is no note of unease. This was not disconcerting. This was low rent. This makes you impatient.
Nobody is vulnerable or tormented. There is no ardent intensity. Nobody has unwilling complicity. This leaves you stupefied. This was pitifully shallow and lacks insight. This was not fairly entertaining. The streets are desolate. People try to be intimidating. This is a collection of injustices. There is doltishness. There is no believability. There is vapidity. This was a dour, joyless bore.
The father is unraveled. His daughter is supercilous. This was an inept tale of dejected fools. It is an uncertain, fractious, confused, unhappy time. This was all unlikeliness. This was an absurd tale of bleakness. The father is rash and deranged. This was not gritty. There are grim scenes. A surreptitious group lurks. There are societal dangers. This was slightly rubbish.
People are on a self-destructive trajectory. There are incidents people never try to recall or ever wanted to. There is ill feeling and avoidable danger. This was not much awaited. This was bad and terrible. This was detrimental. Maxi the idiot daughter is sent on a pre-ordained path. There is wilful disregard and terrible mistakes.
Men are calculating. This was cynical and not troubling. There is no dismay. There is no dismay. Maxi ignores that her new 'friend' is the dodgiest bloke. There is brazenness. There is no mounting concern. Maxi is not assertive. People are overly hostile. This does not prompt outrage. There is no profound shock or sadness. There is disregard and fascists are unabated. Heinous acts are done. There is sex and aberration and utterly reprehensible people
Best Lines:
“She's over 80s and orders everything online.”
“Don't ever shoot at people especially not your papa.”
“Where's mama?!?”
“United in destiny.”
“Ire of the German nation.”
“16 dead people aren't enough.”
“Students from across Europe are meeting there.”
“Storm of action.”
“Never forget us again.”
~
The Skeleton Key (2005)
Kate Hudson is a hospice nurse to John Hurt. Unscary American folk magic happens. The friendly lawyer isn't to be trusted. This was about as scary as peanut butter.
Best Lines:
“Old south.”
“Hurt the mean.”
“See ghosts in your mirrors.”
