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Dive Club 1x05-1x07+Evil 2x01+Heels 1x03&1x04 Reviewed 🍫🐔🥗

The Adelaide

This is described as 'Outer Banks' meets 'Into The Blue'. Sea Dog acts crazy and waves BBQ forks. WTF is sugared lobster? There is indignation and this was not beguiling. This leaves you so bored. This was unimportant. There are implications and this was not compelling. This was not fabulous. There is stiltedness. This lacks credibility.

This was moronic. This was deeply troubling. Hints are shrugged off. This was not attention grabbing. There is not earnestness. This was not madly complex. This was surreal camp. This grimly lacks. There is singing. There is a fiasco and a man trapped in a net.

Has drastic and potentially irreversible change happened? There is limited success. This fails to make an impact. This is of dwindling interest. This was not profound. This was not awesome. I see some 'The Fog' type reveal about the shipwreck taking place.

Best Lines:

“Where be those sand crabs at?”

“Good people don't need fake names.”

“Date top.”

“Gift shop tat.”

“Tourist town.”

Dimitri Donskoii

A Russian diver/explorer joins the dive girls. There is talk of the unreachable shipwreck that Lauren may have dived to. For a town filled with the descendants of Russian immigrants, people make many snotty 'jokes' about Russians. Lauren's vanishing isn't an unbearable trauma. This has many deficits. This was truly awful. The whiny boat stealing thug whines.

Best Line:

“It's secrets lie on the bottom of the ocean.”

Mary Celeste

There is a funeral for Lauren. Odd outfits are worn. There is a memorial tree and so many black miniskirts. Lauren founded the dive club. A scene is made at Lauren's funeral. This was not good.

Best Line:

“A place for us to be us.”

N Is For Nightmares

Leland claims he wants to be exorcised. He claims to have sold his soul to kill a bullying bus driver and hurt his evil wife. One of the 4 daughters chews on a dentist's finger. This was so bad and so camped up.

Best Lines:

“That is not how a dead rat smells.”

“Just how insane are you?”

Cheap Heat

David James Elliott plays Tom King, Ace and Jack's father who died by suicide a year ago. The DWL's glory days (such as they were) are long behind it. Tom just got a gun and shot himself on the porch while Ace was several feet away. Strippers take their tops off. Jack is a know it all jackass and won't apologise to Ace. Ricky Rabies shows up with his blood spewing possum roadkill drone, which is THE BEST SCENE EVER. Jack tries to run everything, lord I hate him. Jack tries to upstage Ace by wrestling Ricky Rabies and overshadowing Ace's comeback. Alexander Ludwig as Ace rages. The fans have turned on Ace as they throw tissues at him. Jack has ruined Ace's chances. Jack made himself the champ and people are resentful. This was so slow moving. Jack is an ass and whines and Staci bitches.

Best Lines:

“Land false.”

“On this internet?”

“Loser kids!”

"You don't know what you've got coming for you!"

Michael Waldron (@michaelwaldron) | Twitter

bossmoz on Twitter: "cm punk please bring this gimmick to AEW immediately… "
Something About Wrestling In The Daily LITG, 22nd July 2021

Cutting Promos
Crystal wants attention, don't give it to her. wild Bill gets drunk and naked as a protest against the redesigned title belt which lights up and which is tacky tat. Jack's house burns down, I seriously wonder if Ace set the fire. Staci insists that they move in with Jack's mom. Staci finally decides to get a damn job. Jack wants to stream the DWL and show off its back catalogue which is 500 old videotapes in a shed. Jack is told the DWL is too small to bother with. Jack whines and pisses off their only sponsor. Ace is an idiot. Jack and Ace's horrible mother informs her grandchildren that her dead husband is burning in hell for killing himself. She goes into great detail. No wonder Ace and Jack are messed up with VC Andrews like parents. Tom's legacy continues to impact them and defined much of their world ever since. Jack has selfish desperation. Jack tries to pick a fight with The Rock. Ace calls Jack out on being a control freak. Wild Bill is fired and spews about how Jack caused Tom to kill himself and how he banged Tom's wife. What a charmer. This was good.

Best Lines:
"Ass beating! Ass eating!"

"On the TikTok!"

David James Elliott Facts - HubPages
Heels' Recap, Season 1 Episode 3: Cheap Heat

Tags: evil(cbs), heels, review

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