epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Hobbs & Shaw + Initation (2020)

Fast & Furious: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)

The spinoff nobody wanted or asked for. This was determinedly jolly and full of coarse hostility and no good faith. Idris Elba is the baddie. Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham star. Hobbs eats coffee grounds and wears tiny shirts and gurns. This was not slick or exciting just utterly unwatchable. This was ridiculous.

Ryan Reynolds shows up. There is a bioweapon and a baddie with no room for negotiation. This movie is full of unwitting cruelty. This was not fabulously redundant. There are mistaken thought perceptions and a catastrophic sequence of events. There is a plight. This was tiresome and loud, irritating music blares.

There is recreational and theatrical and aggrieved outrage. This was nonsense. Malign types lurk. There are unfriendly, antagonistic types. The plot is flailing around. This was absurd. This was imponderable. People head to Samoa. They try to escape grim reality. This was the grubbiest class of empty bacchanal.

One is increasingly dissatisfied and uninterested. This was a miserable bonkers film. There are ill consequences and men are unchallenged. This was so boring and full of consternation and people scheming in corners.

Best Lines:

“Death virus.”

“I've seen worse.”


“'Game Of Thrones'.”

“Stabbed one guy in the chest, using a brick.”

Initation (2020)

A slasher movie featuring vile frat boys and moronic sorority girls. Yancy Butler features. Lord this is boring and takes ages to go anywhere. This went beyond downright implausible.

Best Lines:

“Do you know how we're supposed to get out of here?”

“The door?”

Tags: game of thrones, movie review, witchblade

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