epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: Blades of Glory (2007)

This film opens to the dulcet tones of Andrea and Bocelli and Sarah Brightman and rapidly turns into a rude, crude rather funny ice skating comedy.

Jimmy MacElroy is a champion ice skater trained by his nasty adoptive father (it’s Mahone from ‘Prison Break’!) to be a champion and to wear a costume that has peacock feathers on his butt. His arch rival is the loud, rude, crude Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell) and his mullet.

After some blue screen ice skating scenes, the duo shares a gold medal. Until a brawl breaks out, they are stripped of their medal and banned for life from men’s figure skating. Jimmy’s left on the side of the road by his nasty father and Chazz gets drunk and fatter.

Three and a half years pass until an ice skating coach (Craig T Nelson) gets the forgotten rivals together to be the first ever men’s pairs skaters. They’re competing against the Von Waldenberg siblings for the gold at the World Wintersport Games.

The Von Waldenberg’s send their unloved sibling Katie out to sabotage the duo. Meanwhile Chazz and Jimmy try to perfect a difficult move that only the North Koreans have ever attempted before. It ended badly.

Chazz is an arrogant, dumb showman. Jimmy’s bland. Katie’s a useless, spineless twit. But this is funny. There’s bog roll eating, a chase scene, the Von Waldenberg’s do a JFK/Marilyn Monroe themed dance while Jimmy and Chazz do a routine to the theme song from ‘Flash Gordon’. There’s kissing, a dramatic slow-motion routine and it all ends well. This is good.

Best Lines:
“Darren turned to nurturing athletically advanced human orphans.”

“I was on quaaludes, I don’t even remember Oslo.”

“If I wanted him to share, I’d have bought him a brother.”

“Banned for life, that’s a long time.”

“I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday.”

Tags: movie review, prison break

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