epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Movie Reviews: Jay And Silent Bob Reboot + Army Of The Dead (2021) + Una 👎👎👎📼👎

Jay And Silent Bob Reboot (2019)

Harley Quinn Smith features in this new tale of the stoner duo's ongoing hold on pop culture. Kevin Smith's career has been obscenely long. Jay and Silent Bob are aggrieved. There is soft focus. Jay and Silent Bob do disparaging. This was contrived.

Untoward things happen and people talk, a lot. This was not good natured rough stuff. I once kinda liked 'Mallrats'. There is no yearning for normality. Nobody shows empathy. People are undetered by logic. This was more or less incapable. This was not a global event. The dim witted stoners have another adventure. This was not incredible. The mall is on a downward spiral.

Secure assumptions are shaken. This was irreverent and the idiots are completely reckless. Their world is transformed. There are jokes about 'The Force Awakens' and 'Power Rangers' and remakes and reboots and much much more. There is no culture of innovation. This was not unusually adept. This was inadequate. Other people have an agenda at odds with the stoners. Unseen forces lurk. This was awful. This was full of spoofing and posing and rhetoric and bluster and clearly dysfunctional idiots in desperate need.

There is a threat to the stoners integrity. This lacks inherent logic and there is conscientious objection. There is wariness, risks and realities. Nobody is remarkably pragmatic. One perceives weakness in this not very adept film. There is no subtlety or inference. This film is devoted to depicting the stoners personal trauma. This was staggeringly moribund. This was not effacing. There is gaudiness and no conviction. This was turbo camp.

Things go disastrously wrong here. This film raises a foundational question about what we want from pop culture. Quality is conspicuous in its absence. There is emotional damage. There is no artistic obligation. There is no impact on society. This was less successful. The stoners are strongly adovcating for themselves. Jay's world changes. There is no cultural impact or coherence. This was voraciously annoying and not epic. There are fateful concurrences.

These are chaotic and dangeorus times. There are scary conversations and annoying vegans and no good purposes. This was terrible, terrible and deplorable. There are regrettable situations and the stoners are bracing themselves for uncertain futures. The stoners difficulties have intensified. There is no proportionality. Chris Hemsworth has a cameo. There are labyrinthine facades and shallow ambiton and no merciless pace.

There are increasinng tensions and exacerbating conflicts and no human ingenuity. There is resilience and this was insufficient. There are catastrophic consequences. Ben Affleck shows up. There are lots of homages to Smith's past movies. Dreams that will never come true are discussed. People have false fixed beliefs that are not amenable to reason. Val Kilmer shows up.

A 'Russian' accent in the climax cannot be understood. There is furious contempt and petty strictures and plebians. This was pretentiously expansive and perfunctory. There are outtakes and so many were aligned behind a single undertaking. Despicable things happen and this was an appalling vista. This has a chaotic impact and people try to avert catastrophic events. People are capricious and there is some consolation.

Diedrich Bader, Melissa Benoist of 'Supergirl', Adam Brody, the cast of 'Clerks', Tommy Chong, Matt Damon, Rosario Dawson, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Jericho, Justin Long and Joe Manganiello of 'True Blood' feature.

Best Lines:

“Given up on new ideas entirely in favour of building multi movie universes that breed brand loyalty from cradle to grave.”

“Proud jorts wearer.”

“Hollywood doesn't make sequels anymore.”

“Old degenerate.”

“Drive the franchise into the ground.”

“Drop your plants now!”

“We've seen all the Law & Orders.”

“If you two are here, it must be a weekday.”

“One of those lawyers you have to pay.”

“So obviously honest.”

“Don't own any property and we've never been intellectual about anything!”

“Have your mouth take a knee.”

“You guys still rent dvds?”

“Take a flick you loved as a kid and add youth and diversity to it.”

“Triumph of cinema.”

“Rebooting the reboots.”

“The good 'Point Break'.”

“Fail upwards.”

“They still let him make movies?”

“Wretched hive of scum.”

“A customer base I never wanted or asked for!”

“I was Loki in the 90s. Before it was cool.”

“Eggplanting me!”

“Leave these methheads tied up until the cops got here.”

“They only look like methheads because they're from New Jersey.”

“How could you let people this stupid into your home?”

“Yo methheads!”

“Deaf people know how to grow weed???”

“Hetero life mate.”

“Not creepy friend.”

“Rich kid neighbourhood.”

“Blow up her future.”

“Hate the present so much it's like they want to retreate into the past.”

“I know it's a lot of words.”

“Very important director type thing.”

“Personal and mean! To me!”

“Done losing at life!”

“The candy buffet ran out of Swedish fish!”

“You happy now TMZ?”

“This movie is doomed!”

“Van Der Bitch!”


“I'm pretty sure they were alive during the 90s!”

“No way!”

Army Of The Dead (2021)

Zack Snyder directs this zombie flick that stars Dave Bautista and Tig Noturo. This doesn't seem promising. The trailer totally lied. This is no considerable pathos. This tries for elan, enthusiasm and stark and frightening clarity. One has simple needs: zombies, highly charged confrontations and people resorting to violence. They aren't met. There has been a Las Vegas zombie apocalypse. Thieves walk in to rob a safe: consequences enue.

Las Vegas has been walled off and is to be nuked. They want 200 million in the safe. There is sap and sap and smart zombies and this was boring. There is desolation and I was expecting this to be something it's not. A zombie tiger lurks and this was not momentous. There is gore and a lack of enthusiasm and adversity and there is no degree of urgency. This was particularly heinous and it has no level of distress.

Best Lines:

“I'm a wife bitches!!!”

“This is the 4 Horsemen.”

“It is so not okay.”

“Zombie wars.”

“Temperature gun.”

“I hate my life so deeply.”

“Tough hombres.”

“Try not to get nuked or murdered by the undead.”

Una (2016)

Based on a play about a reunion between a perv and his victim. No, just no.

Tags: movie review, supergirl, true blood

Comments for this post were disabled by the author