Movie Reviews: Deadly Switch + Brooklyn + Jackass Number Two + Lionheart 👎👎👎👎🐍🐝🐄🐮

Deadly Switch (2019)

They treated her like the daughter they used to have. Teri Polo features in this tale of a a fraught set of cirumstances. This was not intriguing and it was wrong on so many levels. This was flimsy. A stupid young woman falls in with a family of seemingly good intent. This was all absurdities with varying degrees of coherence. This was an inspid, unconvincing watch.

This causes frustration. This was mindless and not a fascinating experience. Interest is occluded. There is talk of dead young women. The young woman's stupidity has a devastating effect, eventually. This is not a gotta watch drama. There are harbingers of trouble.

This was boring and the idiot is beleaguered and has no sense. There are weird parents and nasty things will happen, eventually. Isn't the idiot at college? How can she miss classes? Nobody reflects on their actions. There are no complex dynamics.

Best Lines:

“Naughty Amish.”

“Something not right.”

“Good girl again.”

“Act like a good girl.”

~
Brooklyn (2015)

Saoirse Ronan emigrates to the USA in some unclear era (1940s? 1950s?). She faces harsh choices. This was naff and her home village is full of vindictive people. Her sister dies of the dying. This is a Maeve Binchy knockoff that is a continuing embarrassment. People do narcissitic bleating and the coping classes have polemical ideology.

This was dreary and there are social practices and social expectations and social attiudes and norms. She marries an Italian-American. Her mother is a cold, over-involved, absent, smothering mother. There is no exciting innovation. This was an abomination.

This was an irrelevance. An old biddy is vituperative. There is cruel dishonesty. This was frivolous. This was very poor. There is attention seeking behaviour. She ignores her husband and then she doesn't. There is naviety and cold regret. There is internal tumult and terrible people and no exquisite change. There is no precision just curtain twitching.

Best Lines:

“God alone knows what they live on.”

“Blazer and the hair oil.”

“Looking like a tart isn't going to be a problem.”

“Don't cough whatever you do.”

“Shave down there.”

“Imagined a different life for myself.”

~
Jackass Number Two (2006)

Bulls, snakes, penny farthings, bees, rakes, Tony Hawk, a fatty and a mine. Egh.

Best Line:

“I'm ashamed of myself.”

~
Lionheart (1987)

Dexter Fletcher, Gabriel Byrne and Eric Stoltz star in this tale about The Childrens Crusade. This was boring.