November 24th, 2021

Dollanganger

Book Review: Misty Presents The Jaume Rumeu Collection 🕷🕸🕷🕸🕷🕸🕷🕸🕷

A collection of 4 stories drawn by a renowned artist. We learn some info about the 1970s comic. The 'Misty' editor was in the communist party. This and other comics were drawn by Spanish artists. Comics in the 1970s were seen as ephemeral products of low cultural value not worthy of serious critical attention and there were seen as low culture created to distract and entertain the masses using tired formulaic cliches.


The 4 stories in this are full of spectacle and melodrama. There is excess and while the plots are false and contrived you can enjoy them. There can be ironic and horrifying endings. This is all done in a gleeful tone. The patriarchy, imperialism and conservatism are not challenged. The heroines must have acceptable girlhood and docile behaviour in order to have a happy ending. Humdrum lives are disrupted by odd goings on.


The world is not a safe place. There is no fixed morality. The stories were published in 1978 and 1980. There is an apology at the beginning for dated attiudes.


The Black Widow

2 girls v an evil spiderwoman. Sadie and Freda are in peril as a nut plans a terrible revenge. Why would the military want a superspider? Bowler hats are worn and things must return to being comfortably English and sheltered. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“That old telescope I bought down the market last week!”


“They shall all pay. Horribly...slowly...”


“I wish you wouldn't go around with girls like that.”


“I'll have no trade unionism here.”


“This is not what I joined the army for...It's ambarrassing.”


“Be off, little girl, or it'll be the worse for you.”


“Bullying them with spiders!”


“What's this horrible spider doing?”


“I shall remember this. Your turn will come!”


“Risking little babies with those rotten spiders of hers.”


“What? You dare to call me mad? Me?”


“You wouldn't think a bloke could come to harm clearing out a drain.”


“All of England at her mercy.”


“Listen, woman,”


“She's mad...wants to avenge her husband's death by terrorising the country with spiders.”


“The giant spider which has terrorised half London shows no sign of moving from the area...The Army are considering the use of flamethrowers.”


Spider Woman

The sequel. Somehow the nut is in Australia now to carry out more impropriety. A death ship is found as is a mystery island. Ghastly sights await the mad woman's prisoners. What are they doing for food, water or latrines on the island? A monkey is seen as is an old man. How did a castaway leper get food, crockery, cutlery and glasses? How is there helicopter fuel? Why was the monkey left behind? This was okay.


Best Lines:

“Special agents of terror...”


“We've run before the wind for hours.”


“The air of desolation and despair.”


“The time of the lepers!”


“Poor wretched lepers.”


“So misused.”


“Can not be pleaded with.”


“Resentful of our intrusion!”


Dressed To Kill!

A fancy dress party goes awry in this classic tale which I read in a 'Barbie' comic many years ago. We see people dressed as famous cartoon characters in the abckground. This has a brilliant ending as teenage conflicts take on an all new level. There are no people of compassion in this excellent story.


Best Line:

“Brenda Foster, who just happened to mention to the teacher that I broke that staff-room window...”


DSCF1392[1].JPG


Spend, Spend, Spend!

Golide has avarice. Goblins grant her wish via premium bond. This was good.


Best Line:

“Stop locking the windows! That's not fair!”

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Kylo Ren

Buffy The Vampire Slayer 31+Power Rangers 13+Mighty Morphin Issue 13+ 3 others Reviewed

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Issue 31

Joyce is awful in this incoherence. There is padding. Poor Faith. Ugh.


Best Lines:

“Get the chompy chompy.”


“The worldeater.”


“Their memories of you stolen from them.”


“The ones who don't even remember your name anymore.”


~
Power Rangers Issue 13

The Omega Rangers finally return to Earth. The Eltarians are invading Earth. Where is Drakkon? Grace is vile. Matt showboats during an alien invasion just to gloat to Zack that he is the new Green Ranger. Lord I hate Matt. Has Zedd been exploded? This was okay.


Best Lines:

“Choosing not to repond.”


“No escalation rules.”


“The outer space rangers.”


“Pointless melodrama.”


“By your command.”


“Come with us and live.”


~
Mighty Morphin Issue 13

There are more endless Eltarian flashbacks. Grace is a piece of crap. There are incoherent fight scenes. No.


Best Lines:

“We should have known better.”


“Humans really are the worst creatures in the galaxy.”


“Your planet sickens me so much, I won't even step foot on it.”


“Promises between men like us are meaningless.”


“I'm in charge. And if anyone has a problem with that......you're welcome to go outside and see what's waiting for you.”


~
The Nice House On The Lake Book Six

There is ugly art and incoherence and exposition. Walter's not an alien? Walter did bad things. No.


Best Lines:

“Hitting the friend words hard. Trying to underline it.”


“On a scale of one to Eraserhead, how weird are things with you and Meg?”


“You're. Like, staring into the distance. Thinking deep, sad thoughts.”


“Most people aren't very good.”


“There is nothing good at the end of this road.”


~
Telepaths Issue 3

Bad guys enslave others and adapt well to telepathy. Human speech is a mutation? A guy is a firestarter. Goodies and baddies form teams. The racial aspects of this are iffy. No.


Best Lines:

“”You people”. Amazing, isn't it, how quickly it happens?”


“World runs on lies.”


“They threw a parking lot at us--”


~
Batman Urban Legends Issue 9

Batwoman and Alice have a mission. Batman ignores a man in distress. Azrael broods and Tim Drake plots. A threat is taken care of and a new one emerges. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“You nearly drove us to ruin!”


“It's all dress up, isn't it? Makeup. Masks. Wigs and bulletproof costumes.”


“So many “allies” and not a faithful one in sight.”


“You're not supposed to win.”


“Resurrection waters.”


“Stand down! We're not asking anymore!”


“He's testing things on us...worse things.”


“Your future is ours.”

Illya K

Quotes & Stuff

Hazelnut Lindzt - okay.

My ex = incomprehensible. My life is completely different from what I expected. My ex made terrible false promises.


Who saw 'Miracle Of The White Stallions'?


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Sleep-defying.”


“Ever-vanishing local shop.”


“Colossal waste.”


“Liminal point.”


“Ability to escapen an abusive situation.”


“Lifestyle restrictions.”


“International ambitions.”


“Permanency in this way of living.”


“Should an Earth-threatening asteroid be discovered in the future.”


“Identifiable harm.”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Never imagined would end like this.”


“So many dreams.”


“Death pose.”


“Make an addict out of you.”


“Wanton reckless disregard.”


“No snitch policy.”


“Real social consequences.”


''allo allo'' Quotes:

“I pissed out.”


“Abuzz with rumour.”


“That is a dead cod.”


“Throw the 2 perverts out!”


'What We Do In The Shadows' Quotes:

“Once glorious now pathetic.”


“Unspecial.”


“Vast and uncaring universe.”


'BBC News' Quotes:

“4 harms.”


“Planetary defence.”


'Disappeared' Quotes:

“Grasping for a logical explanation.”


'Royal Bastards' Quotes:

“In her womb, England's first Tudor king.”


“Whose only job is to breed early and often.”


“Unimportant heiress.”


“French women who marry weak kings.”


“Powerful sense of purpose.”


“Dangerous years to come.”


“My father and his father before him fought in many years.”

“But you're still losing.”


“Power structure.”


“All she has been forced to endure.”


“Built around family, honour and prestige.”


“Punishment in perpetuity.”


“Begins to shape England's destiny.”


“Imbecilic husband.”


“Through force of arms.”


“Unseat a king who has ruled for decades.”


“History will never forgive her.”


“Unwittingly set the stage for a far greater enemy to rise.”


“Family prophecy.”


“Darkest of omens.”


'Sky News' Quotes:

“Experience justice.”


“Legacy of corruption.”

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Sergio Balleseros

Supergirl 6x19+Masters Of The Universe: Revelation Part 2+Grimm 3x15-3x18+UFO 1x24&1x25+ 4 others

The Last Gauntlet

Kara and Alex make it all about them, as per usual. Alex doens't have a daughter! Is the adoption even through yet? Andrea and Lena talk. Lex's mother shows up. Kara and Alex steal and vandalise. Alex is selfish, irrational and hysterical. Kara threatens the sun. The Super Friends hurt people to help them. Lex is ditched and dismissed and his mommy is killed off. This was sappy crap.


Best Lines:

“Nothing good as ever lasted long for me.”


“Speaking of terrible moves.”


“Incapable of loving anyone but himself.”


“Defined by our choices and this is the wrong one.”


~
Masters Of The Universe: Revelation Part 2

Fur underpants and technology – this is one weird planet. We get flashbacks to baby Teela. There are late life discoveries. Adam's not dead and his wound is walked off. Skeletor orates. There is dramageddon. Chris Wood is a crap voice actor. Cringer goes for Evil-Lyn. Skeleter is a god now. The Sorceress dies. Cringer speaks. This was not hearwarming. There are many matters of concern. Evil-Lyn gets a new job.


Fisto shows up. Citizens are transformed, we never see them transform back from the horrifying change. There is death and Skeletor rules the afterlife now. There is frustration and this was not heartbreaking.


There is deep concern and a reveal. There are forays into fistfights. There is a forecast of their prospects and churlish types switch sides a lot. There is some domestic violence and belated acceptance of paths and there are plights and damage done.


There is nonsensical jargon in this ill judged part 2. There is desperation in this risible follow up. The King and Queen have issues and are frequently incapable. Will people stop making moralising speeches. A suggestion is made. Greyskull has been redecorated. Liam Cunningham, Mark Hamill, Lena Headey and Kevin Michael Richardson do their actings.


There is uncertainty. Does Adora exist? There are implications and this was useless and not as good as Part 1. This was a supoptimal model. Evil-Lyn has misery and Skeletor is underappreciative. The situation is deteriorating. There is mayhem and wrecked relations and deep misgivings and traumatic change. The Queen is from Earth, how could she go back there? Skeletor is terrible. This does not resonate. There has been a profound national tragedy. A big celestial event is coming.


There is no fasciantion and tragedies befall people. There is no profound psychological impact from Skeletor tormenting people. There is no recourse. Skeletor is erratic and aggressive and tempermental and has no stability. There are grievances. There is abuse and disrespect and a conflicted situation. There are seeds of future conflicts sown.


There is no visceral punch. Skeletor is not worthy. There are negative voices and this was not a spectackle. Evil-Lyn is not comically sour. This was muted and Skeletor is cosseted and people respond to challenges. This was irrelevant and onerous.


Evil-Lyn is aghast at Skeletor's limited ambitions. Evil-Lyn cries. This reiterates Skeletor's awfulness. There are Evil-Lyn flashbacks. Evil-Lyn lived in the sewers for 20 years? This was not substantive. Skeletor has willingness to change, briefly. Evil-Lyn makes a choice.


The planet becomes Evil-Lyn's fiefdom. This was deficient. Devastating choices are made. There is no effectiveness. Skeletor is all bones – how do he and Evil-Lyn get it on? Evil-Lyn shows off her 8 pack. Evil-Lyn destroys the afterlife. Skeletor's an ally of Adam now. There is apprehension and fear and people are astounded.


Teela's psychic now. Evil-Lyn is beyond redemption but gets one anyway. An army shows up to fight her and lets her go. Malicious shadows attack. Bee people show up. Evil-Lyn is hardline and unrepentant. There is an ideological struggle. Poor Beast-Man is ill used. Skeletor is bones, he doesn't have blood. Evil-Lyn is now Dark-Lyn. There are calculated lies and Dark-Lyn is noxious. There are cruel effects.


Orko lives and Scare-Glow shows up to get his ass kicked. There is a concerted strategy and disreputable conduct. Who was the Sorceress before Teela's mother? Dark-Lyn and Skeletor are egocentric, manipulative, violatile, vindictive people into unnecessarily destructive petty vendettas. There is social death and darker days and Greyskull's interior makes no sense. Teela shows off her new look as the latest Sorceress.


Dark-Lyn is wilful and Skeletor can't change. Ram Man shows up as Dark-Lyn shows distain. There is fear and nerves and egregious choices. Irreparable damage has been done. There is ruination and redemption. There is a limit to viewer's patience and endurance. There is dangerous impulsiveness. There is no constraints on behaviour. There are no ethical standards. There is a pattern of disregard for logic.


There is no shame or irony. Is heaven restored? There is a He-Man statue. There are emotional impacts and leavings and endings. There is emotional suffering and devastating fallout. There is a pursuit of happiness. Skeletor ends up hiding out at the technocult which leads to a big reveal and sequel hook. The motherboard the technocult worship is an avatar of the Horde!


Best Lines:

“Surrounded by the babbonbery of obnoxious idiots.”


“Marinate in his tears.”


“Your muscle-bound boytoy.”


“The universe has no master.”


“Chaos and hurt and eath.”


“Locked in eternal battle.”


“Sin and sorrow.”


“Whims and wishes.”


“Havoc and destruction.”


“I saw eons pass in the darkening croners of space.”


“Air filled withy anguish and magic.”


“How noble and witless!”


“You forget what you truly are.”


“The part where you start cackling.”


“Things even I can't do.”


“Little lord weakling.”


“Bound forevermore.”


“Foresaken fortress.”


“I'd sure like to fist him.”


“Utterly useless lives.”


“You deserved better deaths.”


“Bound for glory and eternal reward.”


“Silly sword.”


“Fighty fight.”


“Bumbling idiocies of the past.”


“Became the power incarnate.”


“Almost killed me. Again.”


“Her gift to bestow and withdraw at will!”


“Led men to fortune, death and danger.”


“The Great Battle.”


“I don't know where it's elading us.”


“Most noble Battle Cat.”


“The whole castle can't hear it?”


“Resented his blame.”


“No constancy.”


“Still think we matter to the cosmos.”


“The celestial apex.”


“Devoid of any hope.”


“Killed everyone in heaven.”


“Gave me a place to belong.”


“Choas in a void.”


“Dark desire.”


“He certainty of your own importance.”


“All the power in existence.”

“Then what?”


“My wretched life.”


“He will kill you one day.”


“I have the power.”


“Attain that which was denied me.”


“End the entirety of existence.”


“Oh my god, we are.”


“Turn you into my little battle dog.”


“Born with a sacred calling.”


“King of fear.”


“Forgoe all mortal attachments.”


“Tethered to this place for all eternity.”


“My story is written.”


“Killing you isn't enough.”


“Handed you a life you never would have known!”


“I gave everything of myself.”


“You can't love, you merely crave.”


“Unmake it all.”


“You and what army?”


“Is that PigBoy and GoatMan?”

“When it comes to henchmen, they've reached the bottom of the barrel.”


#Would I Lie to you from The Purple Koala


~
Once We Were Gods/The Show Must Go On/Synchronicity/The Law Of Sacrifice

Wu's locked up in a loony bin thanks to his 'friends'. There are evil carnies and Nick's mother resurfaces. A child with destiny is wanted – it's Adalind's baby. Adalind goes to Renard. There is exposition. Is the baby actually Renard's? Nick and Renard have another standoff. What are the Royals the Royals of? People baby Adalind.


Renard is menaced by his greasy cousin. Adalind names the child Diana. Adalind has no forgiveness. Renard gives up Diana to his horrible relations. Adalind seems to forget she has powers. What sort of long con is Renard playing? The baby in some scenes is an obvious doll. No one comforts the hysterical Adalind. I'm sure that will rebound in a horrible fashion. What is Renard at? Nick's mommy makes off with Diana. This show makes no logical sense.


Best Lines:

“Who's the idiot father?”


“It's not yours.”

“Thank god.”


“They scare even us.”


“You find that attractive? Really?”


“Am I supposed to be scared?”


“Death by Royals.”


“She tried to kill him. Twice.”


“Half Royal bastard zauberbiest.”


~
Reflections In The Water

A man obsesses over a fish and Staker obsesses over a space probe. An underwater dome is found. A ginger minger is perp sweated by Paul and Straker. The aliens have made copies of SHADO staff. This was okay.


Best Line:

“Space observation platform.”


The Responsibility Seat

Straker gives an interview to a fake reporter. Straker shows off his sexism again. Did Straker sex up the fake reporter? SHADO bothers some Russians. People can't say hypoxia. This was bad and foul.


~
The Devil's Throat 1x12


The Devil's Throat

Pieces of the puzzle begin to fit together with devastating effects for Filip. Nobody is kind, inclusive and non-judgmental. Filip and Mia do not end up together. How dark things turned. Property theft and murder and abuse is the killer's motive. The dad is used as bait. People aren't kind or sympathetic. A woman is in a loony bin. A child is discussed. This was protracted.


There is no warm welcome. A family despise each other. Someone plans to retire. Miserable lives achieve nothing. A family was forcibly fractured. This was inadequate. The sins of the past live on. A boy was stolen and he is now a man of 35 and a mad murderer. A woman was driven crazy. Monumental blunders are made.


The obvious is overlooked no longer. Asen is the killer. A fake grave is dug up. This was all about stolen property and a stolen child namely Asen. Diana hangs out with Asen. There is a wall of crazy. Filip broods. Asen sprays sittle. Victims brought about their own murders. This was rambling and bizarre. Asen kills his real mother. Filip fires off his gun at some trees. The evil father did all this for a house with a nice view?!? Krasi is killed. Pope is sad and shouty. Donka is irrelevant. Asen confronts his adoptive parents and brother and Mia. He makes them eat soup laced with sleeping pills. The pills wear off Filip, Mia and the sobbing mother quickly. The family home was built on stolen land. Asen blows it up. Abhorrent people lack moral courage. There is death as an obvious dummy plunges down a ravine. Was Asen going to shoot Filip before Filip shot him?


Best Lines:

“Do something brave for once.”


“God's justice.”


“For 30 years I was calling the man who killed my father dad.”


~
Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists 1x04


The Ghost Sonata

There are toxic relationships and the former FBI agent stalks. Alison thinks Taylor is alive. This is so boring.


~
La Brea 1x09


Father And Son

There were no cows in North America in 10,000 BC – so why is there a cow? People are stupid and lazy. Eve has to ensure child Gavin goes through the sinkhole and fathers her children. There's a reveal about who Ella is that does not make much sense. Eve is stupid.
There's a bad child actor. Why is there a barcode on the cow? There are other sinkholes mapped out. This was okay.


~
Day Of The Dead 1x06


The Lady Birders Of Nepa

I missed 1x05. People head to a closed down store. The evil scientist tries to recreate scenes from the movie. An injured woman needs help. The doctor dumps his bride to be. The mayor's husband demands respect but ends up zombiechow. This was okay. The mayor set up her husband's death and the death of her rival.