November 5th, 2021

Hawkeye

DC Vs. Vampires Issue 1 Reviewed 🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️

The high risk lifestyle of super-heroing is worsened by vampires. The D squad of heroes are in this. Vampires plot. Lex shows up. This was not genre defining or a triumph. Grood and Riddler are vampires somehow. Aquaman lurks. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“Cult Of The Blood Red Moon.”


“Superman said I was pretty important.”


“The evil vampire cult leader.”


“Go to hell!”

“No need. We're bringing it here.”


“The vampire conspiracy has corrupted dangerous people and infiltrated places of tremendous power.”


“What is coming will turn friends into foes and make allies of our enemies.”

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Traveler

Movie Review: Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)

This piece of crap takes an irreversible toll. There is nasty misygony. A boy has a 'harrowing' life and sees his life as a sad situation. He does erratic behaviour. This sequel is not wonderful. A 'valiant' and 'misguided' dude-bro goes back into the game. People are casual. There is dull repertoire. This was not hilarious or ingenious.


There are stratagems. This leaves you incredulous. This was unremarkable. There is no intensity. Boomers whine and have negative responses. This was ridiculous and full of insane turmoil. This was bad and a failure. An idiot makes idiot choices. This was scarcely credible.


This was unlikely and unwanted. This was unbelievable and it leaves one wearied. People have nefarious purposes and there is no 'classic dilemma'. There is no sense of decency. There are boomer jokes. There are malicious, perplexing, aggressive and coercive behaviours.


There are worried mutterings and curtailment of mystery. There are more boomer jokes and dramatic effects are negative. This was ill suited. Does someone have special learning needs? There are no good oments just a fat turkey. People are obviously ill at ease and bewildered.


This was not a naturalistic drama. There is bad acting and this was messy and vociferously bad. This was historically worthless and things are weird and unfamiliar. This was pretty ineffectual. There are no ominious long term implications. The future is unknown. There are severe ructions. This was not nifty. This was not amiable.


Nobody is especially wary. This was not heady. Colin Hanks lurks. This was the most terrible. There are defiant outbursts in this disjointed film. This was highly contentious and it was the most appalling mess. People wonder about survivability. There are rope bridges and unpleasant people. This was unwise and disingenuous. This was farcical and ill conceived. Dwayne Johnson makes lazy movie chocies.


Best Lines:

“It's all downhill from here!”


“Smouldering intensity.”


“All of you is a different colour.”


“He died but he's fine.”

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Sergio Balleseros

UFO 1x11&1x12+Grimm 2x13-2x16+American Crime Story Impeachment 3x03+Supergirl 6x16+ 2 more

Close Up

SHADO use a telescope to photograph the alien homeworld. An orange poloneck is worn. Straker is not nice. This fails at pretty much everything it tries to do. This is inept, inert, dull and dopey. Straker is sexist and a sexual harasser. A fault in the telescope ruins the photos. This predated Hubble by decades. Straker = arrogant jackass.


The Psych Bombs

Weird stuff goes on. No happy ending for Paul, or anyone else. This was dull.


~
Face Off/Natural Born Wesen

Nick is violently murderously angry over the bimbo and Renard. Nick finally learns Renard isn't human. Nick and Adalind are full of malevolence. Adalind is pregnant. There is pain and yearning. Renard's erratic and there are ghastly instincts. This is accomplishing nothing. There is ineptitude. What are Royals? I've forgotten. This was mediocre. Hank's involved now. The bimbo is a bitch. There is no unsettling quandry. This was depressingly barren of interest. This was rambling. This gets stupider. People are not rational. The bimbo is ungrateful. This was dull. Nick's vile. This was inert and miserable. This show causes exhausted irritation.


Best Lines:

“Tried so awfully hard.”


“Hand to hand, very old school.”


“Dark arts related.”


“History will bury us.”


Mr Sandman/Nameless

Why does Nick not talk to Renard? A fly beast attacks. A computer game leads to murder. This show is full of bad elements.


Best Line:

“Cabals within cabals.”


~
Not To Be Believed

Linda begins to feel that she has a target on her back. In 1995 Matt Drudge goes dumpster diving for stories. There is dial up and the Drudge Report is out there. Linda is a hog and Kathleen is ignored. Clive Owen is not fat.


Ann wears tacky clothes. Clinton and Monica have trust issues. There is a Blair mention. Monica is dumped. Linda is unleashing a calamity. Matt has no journalism degree. There is a rolodex and Linda knows what the Drudge Report is. Linda's horrible and spews gossip. Ann plots and Paula is played and mom jeans are worn.


Best Lines:

“Overturn an election.”


“Moment of grace.”


“Ozark vacation homes.”


“Oh no, they broke up.”


“Desi was a drunk.”


“Is there an issue?”


“My ex friend.”


“Explosive situation.”


“Not good, like you are.”


“Not the innocent she claims to be.”


“Unsourced internet gossip.”


“Our dear leader.”


“I refuse to participate in this debacle.”


“Do not cause an incident.”


“Unlike like you she attended an elite law school.”


“Print is dead.”


“She calls constantly.”


“Tony Blair called.”


“Struggle to stay faithful.”


“This is too polite.”


“Very 'All The President's Men'.”


“Sex beat.”


“Nasty letter.”


“Some crazy woman.”


“My integrity matters.”


Exactly where you want to be.”


“I feel sad for you!”


“How that might have happened.”


“Unsourced fluff!”


“Wants to matter.”


“Flabby conmen.”


“Lose. In devestating fashion.”


“Adverse effects on her character and reputation.”


“Even Nixon was capable of shame!”


~
Nightmare In National City

Kara hasn't changed one iota from 1x01. The damning verdict of this season is that it sucks. Nia and Brainy bitch about her sister. Did Nia ever apologise to her? No. Why do Nia and Brainy get so much screentime? Kara goes on about a once in a generation interview. Alex whines about her kid. Andrea's stupid. Nia finally reunites with her sister.


Nia should be the one apologising to her sister. Nia's hostile and she stole her sister's birthday. William needs to piss off. There is a circuitous plot. Doesn't Lena have a job? This was conflict riddled and causes a stupor. This was limp. There is no structure or clarity. This was abysmal. There are fake reasons and this was meagre. There is dissembling.


There is agitation and people are irritated. William sticks his nose in. There is a dome. Nia is apthetic. Nia is selfish and horrible. Kara and her milkmaid braid bores. Patience has long run out. This was unwanted. Kara screws up her big interview. She has no career.


This was feeble. Kara quits her job and bigs up William. Where's Snapper Carr? It's all about Nia, the dream thief. Nia's horrible and needs a slap. Nia is selfish and awful. There is no compelling energy. TPTB made Nia's sister and Lena desperate and grovelling and pathetically grateful to be around the 'cool kids'. The super friends are not liked. This was unremarkable. Lex comes back. Nia is noxious. People make terrible decisions about other peoples limitaitons and patience.


Best Lines:

“You're not here and it's beginning to show.”


“It was supposed to be mine!”


“I have no pain for you!”


“My purpose, my identity and you took it!”


~
Where Is Marta? (2021) 1x01


No Signal

This is a Spanish true crime limited series. This was dubbed. A girl went missing in 2009 and this was hard going. There were chaotic events. Her family have ire against her shady ex. There is growing unease and bizarre events and victim blaming. Her family defy all logic. The case casts a daunting shadow. The police didn't even look for her. This was not impressive. Things get absurdly punitive. The ex was not repeatedly or publicly questioned. Her family are angry and sad. This was an exercise in frustration and patience. There are detrimental effects and troubled days. There was no conviction, selflessness or tolerance. Questions are plaintively asked.


Her ex was strangely unconcerned. There is speculation. This was not compelling. This wants to be deeply meaningful. This was treated as a dull story. There is no refuge in sight. The police did not care. A distressing picture is painted. There was discontent and no accountability. There was a toxic climate and toxic impact. The ex was despicable.


Best Lines:

“That house stinks of bleach.”


“Opened the door rather aggressively.”


“She made the wrong choice.”


"Very cold, awful weather.”


“Those words really bothered me.”


~
Day Of The Dead 1x03


The Grey Mile

The dead walk. This was boring. The mistress tries to kill the mayor but ends up as zombiechow. Suck it homewrecking whore! There is gun violence and bad acting.

Kylo Ren

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'The Power Of The Dog' trailer

No.


'The Hating Game' trailer

Some poor man's Dane Cook is in this.


'Saved By The Bell' season 2 trailer

No.


'Eternals' tv spot

Mmmm.


Best Lines:

“Once believed we were gods.”


“Eternals assemble.”


'Moonfall' teaser

What did Apollo 11 find?


Mint cream dark choc – okay.

Mixed nuts with olives salt & pepper flavour – mmm.

Lemon verbena olives – nice.

Gluten free sourdough – yum.

Reeese's trees – this tastes off.

My ex cast me aside as a thron in his side. My ex is not sorry. I thought there had been a misunderstanding with my ex. It was mistreatment.


There's a 'Flowers In The Attic: The Origin' series?


'La Brea' only got 6 eps at first?


I want a sterling silver ring with clear cubic zirconia and a porcelain leopard necklace. I want a leather skirt and crystal shoes and a diamond and enamel ring. I want an oyster and perpetual submariner date. I want a butterly rose silk scarf and a rose silk scarf.


'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Horrific evidence.”


“Sleaze regulations.”


'An Tsli' Quotes:

“The local lock keeper.”


“Gathering up stories as you do.”


“Famine people.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Foul imprecation.”


“Lament for times past that have vanished,”


“Fighting cricket market.”


“Fight response.”


“Aggressiveness.”


“Socially uneasy.”


“Combustible relationship.”


“Contentious issues.”


“Noble aspirations.”


“Emotional familiarity.”


“Non-context compliations of ice hockey fights.”


“Riveting spectacle.”


“Intemperate utterance.”


“Weaponised incompetence.”


“Monied complancency.”


“Engineered our creation.”


“Impressively unknowable.”


“A history here stretching back 22 centuries.”


“Disgraced and ruined by it.”


“”Legacy” technology.”


“Combat sport.”


“Television philosopher.”


“Whose wealthy parents have bankrolled their careers like his has.”


'Summer Sons' Quotes:

“The friends he didn't introduce you to.”


“You don't have to follow him into the trouble he made for you,”


“He wasn't that good,”


“Nor was he pleased with the friends his companion had made.”


“A nice rich boy who fell in with some nasty trailer trash,”


“Ignored him performatively.”


“Radiating a dislike.”


“Make decent friends,”


“The kind of crowd that didn't happen by accident.”


“What kind of trouble you make.”


“Purposeful interference,”


“Eldritch obsessions.”


“Malevolent haunting.”


“Questionable intentions.”


'Bump' Quotes:

“Stop being so useless for the first time in your life.”


“Weird and old.”


'BBC News' Quote:

“Energy hungry.”


'The Gloss Magazine' Quotes:

“Huge sense of purpose.”


“Let it bide.”


“Much, much more stupid than they're given credit for.”


“Wormeries.”


“Given reputations.”


“Unreasonable compassion.”


“Infallibility of the truly wrong.”


“Escalating parrot situaiton.”


'The Fear Of God' Quote:

“Did I like it? Not much.”


''allo allo'' Quotes:

“Borrowed from French tarts.”


“Eat the little balls of the fish.”


“Whinging moods.”


~
Watched the 'Demon House' documentary. A nut bought a 'hellhouse'. There is copious swearing. What is a psychic medium? A family had a lot of CPS involement. There is an odd basement and is the host Zak on drugs? There are objects under the stairs. Zak mouths off. There is talk of mould in the attic and a leaky furnance. Why does Zak wear sunglasses in a basement? There is now and weirdness and a 'Hell Is Real' sign. This all takes place in Gary.


There is talk of geomagnetic levels. This is fakery. Someobody suffering from organ failure looks too well. What are prism glasses? What is Zak's eye condition? The house was demolished. This was sluggishness and drabness. There is no veracity or realism.


Best Lines:

“Quit their jobs and move away from the area.”


“That portal to hell house.”


“I can tell you some sh*t.”


“8 out of 10 on the demonic scale.”


“Wellness check.”


“I was in disbelief.”


“Something much graver.”


“Conjuring something terrifying.”


“Child fatality worker.”


“The police won't go near my house.”


“Necromancy.”


“Malevolent energy.”


“A very big horror film from a few years ago.”


“Appears to be threats.”


“Slipped her fiancee some money to leave.”


“Market for it.”


“None of this went on.”


“Faked using a cellphone app.”


“Used to live there in the 90s.”


“Invited the activity on purpose.”


“Secret informant.”


“'The Entity' case.”


“Hostile movement.”


“Starts vomiting blood in my bathroom.”


“Boarding myself up in the house.”


“Sounds stupid.”


“Bust in the door.”


“Time for the house to go away.”

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