September 15th, 2021


Movie Review: Prisoners Of The Lost Universe (1983) 👎👎

With Richard Hatch of 'Battlestar Galactica') and Kay Lenz. 3 people are transported to a medieval land populated with mythical creatures and savage warlords. They must use their wits and 1980s technology to return home. This was British?!? This was unloved. Hatch plays a construction worker. This was the worst, dreadful and unloved. It was also sexist and it wasn't very good.

People are impetuous asses. A mad scientist wears a white lab coat all the time that never gets dirty, ever. Lenz plays a tv host. There is no incentive to care. The mad scientist claims to have invented a device that can send things to another dimension – there is no concept of safety. People stand around it and fall into it.

There is dated VFX and people wear costumes that look like they were stolen from the rejects from a donation bin. This was not good enough. The 3 idiots are negatively impacted by their trip to another world. This was awful. Hatch's character has no concept of private property. This was disappointing. Hatch's character is called Dan, Lenz's is called Carrie. Dan calls Carrie fat. Charming.

There is no anguish. This was iffy. No character is anybody's idea of a paragon. There is no personal captial. People are strangely antagonistic. This was not dynamic. There is yelling and I liked this even less. Was this a pilot?

Obvious dummies fall off a cliff. This was not momentous. This was not a tortured exploration of the human psych. Aliens or alternate world humans (it is never clear) speak English. Hatch wears plaid. There is no convincing dialogue. Alien plants are seen. This does not grip the popular imagination. A lake monster attacks. This was not momentous. Leave this on the scrapheap. Alein tech is used.

Carrie strips off and jumps into a muddy lake where a lake monster dwells. This was ill fated and not a moral drama. It was not prestigious and it is full of poor judgment. This was not credible. This was not a meaningful influence. There is no reflection. This was not inspired. Carrie and Dan make out. There plight is uninteresting. This was dumb.

This ails. A creepy warlord commits violence against women. This was was woefull debilitating. There is chronic futility and sheer frustration. This is a massive void. A comedy midget annoys. There is an unwillingness to be logical. This failed and was detrimental. This does not make a profound impact and it is not noticeable. There is anguish and grunting. This was not shocking or disturbing. There is talk of dark powers. One does not want to engage. Dan and Carrie meet and engage with the locals.

This was not essential. A vulture talks. There are no impressive effects. The cruel warlord annoys. This was mind numbing. This was worthless and looks cheap. There is fist fights. The ending is weird. John Saxon features. There is misery and no possibilities.

Best Lines:

“Put a snake to sleep with a high B flat.”

“Weird and wacky world.”

“What am I supposed to do with a mad scientist for an hour?”

“Jerky sticks.”

“Looking at a parallel world.”

“That show really is a pile of garbage.”

“I'm running! I'm running!”

“Water beast, bad way to die.”

“What is that?”


“Smoke stick.”

“Play the master.”

“Looked like hogs in heat.”

“Those who plot against me.”

“The ill-luck will be yours.”

“Tainted by his foul embrace.”

Scary Books

Book Reviews: Menus That Made History + The Pact

Menus That Made History by Vincent Franklin & Alex Johnson

An account of important meals and menus through history: what did they eat on the Orient Express? What did Scott eat? What did they serve on the Hindenburg? What did Hilary and Tenzig eat on Everest? What did they serve on Concorde? What did the first men on the moon eat? What do they serve on the ISS? What was on the 1943 McDonald's menu? What was the last meal served at Elbulli?

What did Henry VIII eat and what did Robert Dudley serve to Elizabeth I to win her favour and did the menu include a pineapple? What was served at the Shah of Iran's vulgar celebration? Some remarkably unpleasant food and people is listed. What was served at Elvis and Priscilla's wedding breakfast? Or at Charles and Diana's wedding breakfast? What did they eat at the Waterloo banquet? And what was served at the Last Supper? This was informative.

Best Lines:

“Henry liked marmalade, to which he was introduced by his Spanish first wife, Katherine Of Aragon.”

“In case they developed a taste beyond their station.”

“Unpleasantly fishy.”

“How rare and treasured they were.”

“Prizefighters, dressed as footmen, were hired to patrol the perimeter and keep her out.”

“High on the mountain, food is repugnant.”

“Champagne sorbet made from 1911-vintage Moet.”

“The arrogance and extravagance of the festivities helped to...pave the way to his downfall.”

“The paddies are weeded by ducks.”

“Still pretty grim. Rats were not always kept away from food as much as most people would have perferred.”

“Munched to a paste.”

“His lack of connection with his people and their culture.”

The Plot by Jean Hanff Konelitz

Jake a failed writer turned teacher is told of a wonderful plot by a jerk student. The student dies and Jake helps himself to his plot. Jake becomes a world famous writer via his bestseller. But someone out there knows what he did and Jake soon learns the plot he stole is not so fictional. This starts out well but gets crazier and more logic defying by the page. The more you think about the plot, the more illogical and preposterous it is. When it ends the plot falls apart the more you think about it.

Best Lines:

“Sheer anguish.”

“Seriously miserable.”

“Was what passed for a sophisticate in her world.”

“Suprisingly nuanced conversation.”

“Awful despair.”

“Bitterly unhappy.”

“The wage of sin, it turned out, had a shelf life of forever.”

“Maintain a smug ignorance.”

“Don't throw up all my hard work.”

“I threw his computer down a porta potty in Missouri!”

“Awful despair.”

“Appalling family.”

“Headed to exactly nowhere.”

“A gifted former student he'd failed to support when she'd been forced to drop out of school.”

“Dearth of friends.”

“Blandly regretful.”

“This, apparently, was what passed for flattery.”


“Provably false statement of fact,”

“Distinctly punitve aspect.”

“She got more nothing.”

“Full of bitter people.”

“Reaching the limits of her goodwill.”

“He said she'd do anything. I don't think he meant it in a good way.”

“Nobody liked her,”

“Didn't truly care about any of these people.”

“Fervid planning for departure.”

“My horrible school experience.”

“Terrible indictment of what remained of his character.”

#rewatching burning love from the beginning instead of sleeping from I'm Shannon. This is my Tumblr#rewatching burning love from the beginning instead of sleeping from I'm Shannon. This is my Tumblr


Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'The Devil's Throat' 1x05 promo

Filip's dad is simply awful and has a hostile nature. Poor Filip. Mia only wears the one outfit. There is kissing.

Best Line:

“I steal only my freedom.”

'Everybody's Talking About Jamie' promo


'No Time To Die' tv spot

“We've made slightly different choices.”

'There's Someone Inside Your House' trailer

A slasher. Secrets. Cornfields. Flames. Masks.

'Don't Worry Darling' teaser


'American Crime Story' 3x03 promo

Bad make up.

'4400' reboot promo


Tartufo fondente dark chocolate almonds & nuts – okay.

I hope the Miami stadium cat is okay.

I wanted to watch the 'Escobar' documentary but I couldn't.

'Look Away' = gross.

I thought my ex was in it for the long haul – but he backed off.

'Back To Life' Quote:

“Give it all up to push a lawnmower around.”

'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Under US treasury sanctions.”

“Sending goons to threaten them.”

“Shamed by her behaviour.”

“Leaving them to their fate.”

“No family protection.”

“Anti vax hostility.”

“Hide behind closed doors in their homes.”


“Performance teenis.”

“United by their doubts.”

'The Devil's Throat' Quotes:

“Have you slept with every woman in town?”

“Us mountain people.”

“What Europe?!?”

“The prison of guilt.”

“He'll watch the moss and go north.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Property safety.”

“Refusing to engage with events.”

“Blasted landscape.”

“Symbolic doom.”

“Never been invited back.”

“Would be forgotten in history books.”

“Gloom of the grave.”

“Now when support, outrage and disapproval were required there was radio silence.”

“An abundance of mass circulation magazines and pulp fiction outlets.”

“Brought oral culture to an end.”

“Diminished contrast sensitivity.”

“So famous and respected.”


“Overt displays of anger and ugly, threat-filled protestation.”

“Low-key, reasoned existence.”

“Hostile messages.”

“Asbsolutely unacceptable.”


“Set aside legal and moral constraints.”

“Lived that misconception.”

“Inexhaustible resource.”

“Not forgotten the choices made.”

“Disastrous decisions.”

“World's most stupid tunnel.”

“Deeply concerned about the potential impact.”

“Deep and genuine public concern.”

'BBC News' Quotes:

“In touch with himself.”

“Visual frown.”


'It Takes A Killer' Quotes:

“Time to rethink her actions.”

“Somebody needed to take that seriously.”

“Lethal stab piints.”

“Tensions existed.”

“Particularly damning.”

“Believing the conversation would turn contentious.”

''allo 'allo'' Quotes:

“Allowed to touch up old masters.”

“The communist resistance or our lot?”

“Your dog stole a very important Gestapo sausage.”

“Who do you think types the threatening letters?”

'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Come home to the crazy.”

“Their evil refridgerator.”

“Want me dead.”

“Demons made him do it.”

“Vengeance thing.”

“Green leafy vegetable substance.”

“Hasn't mowed the grass in over a decade.”

“Walked down the street with no shoes, no shirt and a loaded shotgun.”

'Back' Quotes:

“It's a nursery rhyme. Something to do with the plague. They always are.”

“Peanuts are tramp bait.”

“Tacky Blackpool vibe.”

“Take a numbered spoon.”

“Full of mediocre people.”

'The Killing Of Fr. Niall Molloy' Quotes:

“Did not contest responsibility.”

“Tries to avoid scandal.”

“Confessional privilege.”

“Bizarre development.”

'Fever Pitch' Quotes:

“A 'Guardian' reader, forgive him.”

“Saying something confrontational.”

“Fuming columnists.”

“Sinister side.”

Sergio Balleseros

Innocent 2x02+Supergirl 6x09+The Spanish Princess 2x03&2x04+Dive Club 1x09&1x10+ 1 more

Innocent 2x02

Karen bitches about Sally. What school would hire Sally? She wants a teaching job. Sally whines she is owed the job after having her old one taken away for no good reason. The lying bitch is interviewed. Her lies are revealed, why didn't the police notice them 5 years ago? Any students would be brutal to Sally. Karen tries to sabotage Sally's attempt to get a job. The liar is arrested. Karen is such a karen. The liar rubs herself over Matthew's grave and is revealed as a stalker. Matthew's father attacks someone with a broken bottle. Sally wants back what was taken from her. The liar is charged with perjury. Karen attacks Sally. This was not good.

Best Line:

“Special measures.”


TPTB insert a Megan Markle comment. Nia and the powers she stole from her sister whines. Kara throws another party with no Lena. Andrea and Willam bore. Minor characters bore and get too much attention. Kara looks bored, back show killer. Nia is stupid. Convicts build a dirty nuke and yet somehow they are the victims?!? Alex is dating Jimmy Olsen's sister? Viewers have not forgotten that Jimmy Olsen was demoted form love interest so Kara could smooch the white Mon-El the slaver frat boy alien prince. There is talk of intergang. Tantruming children are babied. Kara acts suprised when convicts are violent angry and ungrateful. William is a tv reporter? He is a print journalist! This was so much SJW crap. Jimmy's sister decides to be Guardian. Didn't Alex want a baby?

Best Lines:

“Do they even have fun?”

“Taking a mental health day.”

“Don't listen to that stupid owl.”


There is exposition. Margaret is regent in Scotland. Catherine has had a devastating experience. Wolsey runs thing. Henry ignores Catherine, which doesn't help in the babymaking. Maggie lurks and whines, like the moronic trash she is. Princess Mary is to marry the King of France. Stafford lurks. Catherine is paranoid and screams like a harpy, which does not help her case.

Margaret and Angus hang out. Anne and Mary are Mary's ladys in waiting in France. The word Boleyn is never uttered. Anne and Mary's ambitious father lurks. More whines that his wife does not put out. The French king is old and fat. Maggie stirs the pot, she's relentlessly toxic. Henry is profoundly unpleasant. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:

“God finds me unworthy.”

“My boys being taken.”

“Did you catch syphillis from some French whore?”

“Solely your domain.”

“Placed himself in every part of our lives.”

“The priest is a poisonous weed.”

“Laying waste.”

“I do not want to end up like you.”

“Everything you have is at his pleasure Mary.”

“I was told that the English never washed.”

“They were corpulent and crass and didn't educate their women.”

“Honour is heaped upon him while I fall from my husband's grace.”

“I must live in fear of death more than any man.”

“Let us do charity together.”

“Play at being a queen.”

“He'll have her.”

“Think on it and agree.”

“I know about the shaking of the streets.”

“I need an heir so my throne is safe.”

The Other Woman

Catherine is pregnant. Margaret makes indisputably horrible decisions. She married Angus. Where is their daughter Margaret Douglas? She would have Lord Darnley who would marry Mary Queen Of Scots. Henry will not help Margaret. Henry has a mistress and Catherine thinks it is Lady Anne Hastings. Margaret is in a bad way. Catherine makes bad chocies. Maggie Pole stirs the pot. Catherine gives birth to a girl, Catherine does not want a girl. The baby is of course the future Bloody Mary.

Everyone in Catherine's birthing chamber is quaking at the king's reaction. He walks off in a huff. Catherine prays behind a sheet. Bessie lurks and shags Henry. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“Married to a man she wishes dead.”

“To rule my country and raise my children.”

“Resolve this with civility.”

“Had my fill of useless girls.”

“Blessed with happiness.”

“Second in power only to you.”

“I fought 9 years to be your queen.”

“Licked the balls of England.”

“You are dead men from this day!”

“I will do nothing for her.”

“In battle with the queen.”

“We are abandoned.”

“Everything you do and ate.”

“Bog-dwelling f**kers!”


There is no resilience and manic behaviour. There is no seriousness and this was not acclaimed. There is no social conscience. This was not a great contribution. There are no critical thinkers. This was not striking. The dive club have been banned due to them running off to dive a forbidden site. Izzie's dad helped padlock the club. Who does he think he is?

This does not excite. What is the Russian explorer's fate? There are self inflicted difficulties. This was not cohesive. This was gratuitously dumb. People are complacent tools. There are difficult challenges. How are the dive club banned if they're adults? There are ballet classes and people are plaintive self serving fools. There is singing. There is no postive outcome. Where is the necklace? There is partician parochialism. There are cheap jibes in this paltry ep. This was not laudable.

The dive club are vacuous twits. There is youthful insouciance. This was imperfect. Has nobody heard of curtains in the town? This was not significant impact. People react to negativity. There is no trauma or adversity. Nothing has fundamentally changed.

One views this with incredulity. There is another wreck and idiot rustics. This was a disappointment. There are fish, nonsense and a mystery wreck.

Best Lines:

“Did we ruin something?”

“Went missing under mysterious circumstances.”

“Frigate with dark sails.”

“What decent perosn is up at this time of the morning?”

“A person with a job.”

“Is that shirt a good idea?”

“That's not what ships are for.”


This was rudimentary. Hidden history is resolved. Anna's view of Joan Of Arc is inaccurate. There is no urgency. This was doomed. Where are their parents? There are dark aspects. This was not credible. There is no nurse for the comatose Russian explorer? The gang are back in the clubhouse. This was a fiasco. There are secrets and lies. There are cover ups. This was an exercise in pointlessness. Anna yells.

Cape Mercy is named after lantern girl? There is a reveal about lantern girl who is Anna's great-grandmother. Lantern girl was Anastasica. Oh come on. That means Anna is heir to the imperial throne of Russia. The thug whines. Someone finally notes Anna's proper title is Grand Duccess.

Best Lines:


“Nobody comes here for the lighthouse.”

“Your little mermaid phase.”

“Lost souls need compassion.”

“Storm action.”

“Lantern held aloft.”

Superman & Lois 1x05&1x06

The Best Of Smallville/Broken Trust

I'm tired of The Jordan Show. Clark gets angry. Jonathan is ignored and his his ex is a slut. Jordan breaks Jonathan's arm and is babied. Morgan Edge lickarses Lana and Kyle is a moron. Sarah is a bitch. The stranger stalks Lois and was married to her in an alternate world. Why is Lois so thankless? Jonathan is ignored in his own family. Lois and Clark had ugly sons and treat Jordan like he's their only son. Jordan needs to go. Grandpa Lane is an ass. Lois is obsessed with Morgan Edge. Jordan broke Jonathan's arm and Lois has ice cream with Jordan, not Jonathan. She is the worst mother and Jordan is the worst brother. We saw Martha in flashbacks with big hair. Clark gives Jonathan nothing no wonder he hates Smallville and wants to leave. Clark fawns over Jordan. All this show's promise is being pissed away on The Jordan Show.

Best Lines:
"Broke ass arm."

"Why does a journalist have a ray gun?"