September 9th, 2021

To Light The Way To Bed

Movie Reviews: Fear Of Rain+The Haunted+Class Action Park+Lethal Love+Pentagram+ 1 more

Fear Of Rain (2021)

A girl living with early onset schizophrenia must discern what is real or not when she suspects that her neighbour has kidnapped a child. There is an inevitable descent into awfulness. Katherine Heigl and Harry Connick Jr, the giants, feature.


The teen has gone off her meds because she can't paint and tantrums when told to take her pills. She's ravaged her family with her self interested decisions. She's disrupted her family. This was bad and then worse. She has personal responsibility. This was disappointing.


She is ungrateful. This has no impact. She has romanticised her 'painting' which we never actually see her do. People have serious concerns about her. She whines about constraints. Why wasn't her bedroom tided up after she thrashed it? There are clear signs of distress. She makes strategic choices. Her personal reality = correlation implies causation. She's a moral wasteland with no empathy.


This was fatuous. She harasses the neighbour. She's an uncomfortable and disappointing child who does not engage meaningfully. She's not vulnerable. This was inefficient. She's thoughtless and this was very dull.


She causes distressing events. This leaves you stupefied. There is perfidy and this was bewildering. She yells about misconduct. Nobody is non-judgmental. Ramifications are ignored. She has high handed disdain and open contempt. This is not a complex scenatio. This was inaccurate. The law is flouted. The father refuses to control the brat. She claims to have a boyfriend and she has no dignity.


There are no factual observations or assertions. She counteracts facts. This was irrelevant. There are no negative repercussions for her crap. She screams and her mother is dead, she's been hallucinating her dead mother. Nobody challenges her deranged views.


She's dysfunctional and the ending is stupid with stupid twists. Her existence is fragile and this was not impactful just terrible.


Best Lines:

“Could it exist?”


“Is anyone else reacting?”


“Not taking it is not an option.”


“Have equally serious consequences.”


~
The Haunted (2018)

This UK horror sees an incompetent moron hired as a carer in a rambling, isolated house. An ouija board is seen. There is resentment and staring and bad acting and darkenss. This rips off 'The Skeleton Key' and 'The Others'. No.


Best Lines:

“I banish all that would cause harm.”


“No personal calls, we check the bills.”


“Grumpy bastard.”


~
Class Action Park (2020)

A luridly entertaining documentary about New Jersey's Action Park and it's reputation as the world's most insanely dangerous amusement park which had no health or safety. A conman bought a woebegone theme park to compete as a theme park destination. The Cannonball Loop Slide knocked teeth out. The park had no hard, dreary things like safety. We see footage from MTV's 1993 'Headbanger's Ball'.


The owner faked having insurance and dragged any claims though the courts. The owner laundered money and antagonised the lease owner and paid no rent. Drink was taken and the water in the water park was filthy. There were fests and sour hatefulness and more drinking and go kart racing on the highway.


The waterpark had snakes in the water and ugly hopelessness and boat accidents and flaming balls and an Alpine Slide that killed someone and which was made of abestos. Injuries were sprayed with alchol and iodine. The owner connived in cover up of deaths. Eventually the multiple deaths caused the park to be closed.


Best Lines:

“Death was tolerated.”


“Traction Park.”


“Children's joy.”


“Catch pond.”


“Found teeth stuck in the padding.”


“One went horribly wrong.”


“Backboarded off the ride.”


“Highway grade.”


“Questionable ideas.”


“Super Speed Slide.”


“Questionable design designs.”


“Spring fed stream.”


“Stop chanting the word pussy at this injured bleeding person.”


“The bikini top surfaces before the girl does.”


“Kill someone because they didn't have a lift pass.”


“Machinegun that he kept in his office drawer.”


“Big and loud.”


“Didn't believe in the concept of insurance.”


“Let 6 year olds jump off a 20 foot cliff.”


“If kids couldn't make it to real nature.”


“Cliff Dive.”


“Load in.”


“Fall to their doom.”


“Left the park in an ambulance.”


“Slide burns.”


“Having at it.”


“Standing in the Colorado River Ride punching each other.”


“Pent-up aggression.”


“Code Brown.”


“'Miami Vice' grade speedboats.”


“Battle Tanks.”


“Ride's previous victims.”


“Wasn't designed to keep you on.”


“Banked turn.”


“Unsettling looking sort of shed.”


“Finally faced a reckoning.”


“Time came and went.”


“Beat up a nazi.”


“Death zone.”


“Grave pool.”


“Living with the consequences.”


“Claimed yet another life.”


“80s movie that was real life.”


~
Lethal Love (2021)

A ripoff of 'The Stepfather' that was totally unconvincing. Torri Higgonson of 'Stargate Atlantis' stars. This debacle sets the bar very low.


~
Pentagram (2019)

People raised with apparently no morals make terrible life choices. They don't look at their life or at their choices. The people who are thieves get trapped in a pentagram in a remote empty house in this UK horror. No names star. This is set in the USA with BAD US accents. This was dispensable.


There is bad acting and people are idiots. This was not spectacular or harrowing. A demon lurks. The people act like lunatics. One feels contempt for this unwatchable mess. This was not epochal. There is obfuscation and it leaves you stupefied. TPTB take a lax appraoch to quality. Nobody is anxious.


~
In The Shadow Of 9/11 (2021)

A documentary about a true crime case in which a cult were accused of being terrorists. Was the FBI sting entrapment of truly stupid people? Or were they guilty? The cultists all seem high. They were arrested in 2006. There were 2 mistrials and they were convicted in the 3rd trial. They served time and got out, a where are they now montage reveals their fates. This was good but bizarre.


Best Lines:

“Bad choices.”


“Mission of war.”


“Run afoul.”


“Street vibe.”


“I draw the line here.”


“Nasty scam.”


“Straight bullcrap.”


“Deportable.”


“Levy war.”


“I can't be living this.”


“Saying things that sound kind of scary.”

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Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'American Horror Story' 10x05 promo

No.


'Star Trek Picard' season 2 trailer

Q, Borg, time travel, mmmm.


'The Matrix: Resurrections' trailer

No.


'Last Night In Soho' trailer

What's with the lead actress' stupid voice? Matt Smith menaces.


'Don't Look Up' trailer

No.


Iceburg chocolate – nice.


'Virgin Media News' Quotes:

“Violent and unnecessary act.”


“Jury disagreement.”


'RTE News' Quote:

“Decent, well-respected family.”


'Channel 4 News' Quote:

“Deeply worried by what they're seeing.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Dismiss as a feminine concern.”


“Died under bombardment.”


“Ungovernable land.”

Iceburrg — Burr

Sergio Balleseros

Dive Club 1x05-1x07+Evil 2x01+Heels 1x03&1x04 Reviewed 🍫🐔🥗

The Adelaide

This is described as 'Outer Banks' meets 'Into The Blue'. Sea Dog acts crazy and waves BBQ forks. WTF is sugared lobster? There is indignation and this was not beguiling. This leaves you so bored. This was unimportant. There are implications and this was not compelling. This was not fabulous. There is stiltedness. This lacks credibility.


This was moronic. This was deeply troubling. Hints are shrugged off. This was not attention grabbing. There is not earnestness. This was not madly complex. This was surreal camp. This grimly lacks. There is singing. There is a fiasco and a man trapped in a net.


Has drastic and potentially irreversible change happened? There is limited success. This fails to make an impact. This is of dwindling interest. This was not profound. This was not awesome. I see some 'The Fog' type reveal about the shipwreck taking place.


Best Lines:

“Where be those sand crabs at?”


“Good people don't need fake names.”


“Date top.”


“Gift shop tat.”


“Tourist town.”


Dimitri Donskoii

A Russian diver/explorer joins the dive girls. There is talk of the unreachable shipwreck that Lauren may have dived to. For a town filled with the descendants of Russian immigrants, people make many snotty 'jokes' about Russians. Lauren's vanishing isn't an unbearable trauma. This has many deficits. This was truly awful. The whiny boat stealing thug whines.


Best Line:

“It's secrets lie on the bottom of the ocean.”


Mary Celeste

There is a funeral for Lauren. Odd outfits are worn. There is a memorial tree and so many black miniskirts. Lauren founded the dive club. A scene is made at Lauren's funeral. This was not good.


Best Line:

“A place for us to be us.”


~
N Is For Nightmares

Leland claims he wants to be exorcised. He claims to have sold his soul to kill a bullying bus driver and hurt his evil wife. One of the 4 daughters chews on a dentist's finger. This was so bad and so camped up.


Best Lines:

“That is not how a dead rat smells.”


“Just how insane are you?”



~
Cheap Heat

David James Elliott plays Tom King, Ace and Jack's father who died by suicide a year ago. The DWL's glory days (such as they were) are long behind it. Tom just got a gun and shot himself on the porch while Ace was several feet away. Strippers take their tops off. Jack is a know it all jackass and won't apologise to Ace. Ricky Rabies shows up with his blood spewing possum roadkill drone, which is THE BEST SCENE EVER. Jack tries to run everything, lord I hate him. Jack tries to upstage Ace by wrestling Ricky Rabies and overshadowing Ace's comeback. Alexander Ludwig as Ace rages. The fans have turned on Ace as they throw tissues at him. Jack has ruined Ace's chances. Jack made himself the champ and people are resentful. This was so slow moving. Jack is an ass and whines and Staci bitches.


Best Lines:

“Land false.”


“On this internet?”


“Loser kids!”


"You don't know what you've got coming for you!"

Michael Waldron (@michaelwaldron) | Twitter



bossmoz on Twitter: "cm punk please bring this gimmick to AEW immediately… "
Something About Wrestling In The Daily LITG, 22nd July 2021

Cutting Promos
Crystal wants attention, don't give it to her. wild Bill gets drunk and naked as a protest against the redesigned title belt which lights up and which is tacky tat. Jack's house burns down, I seriously wonder if Ace set the fire. Staci insists that they move in with Jack's mom. Staci finally decides to get a damn job. Jack wants to stream the DWL and show off its back catalogue which is 500 old videotapes in a shed. Jack is told the DWL is too small to bother with. Jack whines and pisses off their only sponsor. Ace is an idiot. Jack and Ace's horrible mother informs her grandchildren that her dead husband is burning in hell for killing himself. She goes into great detail. No wonder Ace and Jack are messed up with VC Andrews like parents. Tom's legacy continues to impact them and defined much of their world ever since. Jack has selfish desperation. Jack tries to pick a fight with The Rock. Ace calls Jack out on being a control freak. Wild Bill is fired and spews about how Jack caused Tom to kill himself and how he banged Tom's wife. What a charmer. This was good.

Best Lines:
"Ass beating! Ass eating!"

"On the TikTok!"


David James Elliott Facts - HubPages
Heels' Recap, Season 1 Episode 3: Cheap Heat

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