Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (2008)
This stoner sequel stars Kal Penn of 'Designated Survivor' and John Chou in a series of risible scenes. Smoking weed in an airplane bathroom leads to the bong causing mass panic. The duo get up in Gitmo as Roger Bart and a deranged government agent run around.
Why is there a goat in Gitmo? There is T&A and bad ADR and lots of flashbacks. There is dated tech and a rich jerk and a 'Starship Troopers' mention. There is a lot of drug taking. There are cartoon monsters and a quest and bad VFX and an apperance from a W lookalike. This was unnecessary and horrible nonsense.
I hate this with all my energy. I loathe this. This was not abrupt or dramatic. There are many snarky comments. There is no discernible plot structure or theme here. This was surreal. People behave peculiarly. This was not deftly constructed. This was not multifaceted. This was repulsive with unfunny 'jokes'.
This tries to be jaunty but it is just rambling and frustrating. This was not unforgettable. There is no human anguish. There is no impact. This was horrible. There is no accountability or any possibility. There is disorganisation and this was not a mesmeric meditation. This was not concise.
“Who you calling Matthew Perry bitch?”
“President Bush and my dad went to the same fraternity.”
“We've only been broken up 2 years.”
“Weed capital of the world.”
“Put the bong away.”
“Zip it Hello Kitty.”
“You want rights?”
“Lied to your ex-girlfriend about how you got crabs.”
“Go on the online.”
“Walking towards the creepy music.”
“Their 'Goonies' child.”
“Bunch of European dudes.”
“Don't you wipe?”
“Lost love story.”
“I'm going to a whorehouse.”
“If I'd known the monkey had AIDS I never would have done that.”
He's All That (2021)
This remake of 'She's All That' succeeds until it doesn't. In this gender flipped take an influencer makes over an unpopular boy. The influncer is poor and fakes not being poor to make money off her followers. The unpopular guy hates everything popular and wears a bad wig that makes him look like a school shooter in waiting.
The influencer learns her boyfriend is cheating and freaks out. She's shamed online and ditched by sponsors. She ignores how her BFFs are obvious tools. Her ex is celebrated and she is a meme so she sets out to make the unpopular Cameron into the prom king. Cameron is some Jughead looking loser and her ex is some Vanilla Ice wannabe rapper. Her taste is dubious. Her name is Padgett, no really.
Her narrative is unchallenged. She ignores how her BFFs are pernicious. Her intentions and ideas are messed up. They are a hysterically dysfunctional couple. Padgett has delusions and perpetually ungrateful friends. There is staged cordality and this film's serious impediment is a lack of vision and it is boring.
There are concerns but no serious engagement. There is reycled rhetoric and this was inconsistent. There are chronically bad choices and distorted perceptions and bluster. There is laissez-faire thinking in this absurd film. There are consistent issues and this was a multitude of incompetence.
There is a dressup montage. This is dull and fails miserably. She makes Cameron over. This is of no benefit. There is bad acting and a dance routine. Matthew Lillard plays a teacher and Rachael Leigh Cook plays Padgett's mom. Kourtney Karadasian cameos. No, just no.
“Those shoes cost more than our dishwasher.”
“Snotty, entitled trustfunders.”
“He's being ironic, I think.”
“The valley of the valley.”
“More sweaty dudes kicking each other in the nads.”
“You called her music twee.”
“Tremendously ashamed of you.”
“Bad skin and tragic hair.”
“Weird old stuff.”
“The word you're looking for is pony.”
“You saw Harry Styles?”
“We know you're poor.”
“You don't deserve my love!”