June 11th, 2021

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Lavender + Another Country 👎👎🐔🥗

Lavender (2016)

Abbie Cornish and Diego Klattenhoff starred in this mess. This was not irresistible and it has no lasting legacy. There is jeopardy and a photographer mumbles unintelligibly. An annoying kid annoys. This was so solemn. This abjectly fails and was sloppiness. This was dreadful and a bad situation gets worse. There is ill-will and urgent indicators and she has an old injury. Nobody has a concept of medical privacy.


There is an absolute undoing. There are diatribes and things are rambling and random. This was woefully inadequate and entirely arbitrary and this was ridiculous. This was farcical and laughable. This was not ominious or fortuitous. This was meandering.


There is no self reflexivity. This was disastrous and misfiring. There is straight faced insincerity. There are no presiding figures and this was achingly clunky. This was not unbearably sad and it has no ingenuity. This was unconvincing. People have selfish despair and no psychological ballast. This was flimsy.


There is amnesia and people are deranged and illogical. This was turgid and disappointing and there is wilful obstruction. This was cod-dramatic and maddeningly dumb. There is no gloomy, oppressive terror just indifference. There is irritation and impatience. There are non-convivial types. There are operatic displays of despair. This was not competency based. There is no strength or purpose. There is no intuitive self-reliance. Justin Long pops up. This was confused and incoherent.


Best Lines:

“This is so boring.”


“Glimpses into lives once lived.”


~
Another Country (1984)

There is bad old age make up as a spy reveals why he did what he did. Colin Firth is in this. Rich boys whine in the 30s. Rupert Everett and Cary Elwes co star. This has no real plot. This was a non-event. Anna Massey was in this!


Best Lines:

“Treason to what? Loyalty to who?”


“They won't come in here, they can't afford to.”


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Meechum

Book Review: Year Zero Vol 2

New characters survive the zombies. This was so male gazey and the art was so ugly. Ugly people do ugly deeds and there is cruelty. A zombie pandemic has vevastated humanity. This was unwieldy. People evade accountability and engage in violence. There is ugly aesthetic and intent. There is no clarity or coherence. This was not mercilessly terrifying. There is no ultra urgency. One is repulsed and horrified by this really bad mess.


There are poor unfortunate animals and the inevitable motorcycle gang. FFS. This was racist, sexist crap. This does nothing right. This has no premonitory intimations just splatterpunk crap.


Best Lines:

“Pestilence prevails,”


“Trapped alone in a superstore, surrounded by a zombie wasteland...”


“We're going back to the old ways. The old ways of living and eating and dressing. The old rituals and old myths.”


“Utterly catastrophic.”


“Humans are built to be serial killers.”


“Use for hurting.”


“Commitment and endurance is our standard.”


“Time for happiness was running out.”

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PromNight2

The Resistance: Uprising Issue 2 +Buffy The Vampire Slayer Issue 25 +Mighty Morphin Issue 7 Reviewed

The Resistance: Uprising Issue 2

Nobody wears masks or uses hand sanitiser or acts like a global plague has taken place. A bullying victim has turned mass murderer. Crazy people are opposed to testing. This was wildly irresponsible incoherent garbage. I'm dropping this title. 😠🤢🤮


Best Lines:

“Wheat Jesus.”


“--If anyone had noticed him, ever--”


“The police stopped the press from reporting what the first responders found when they sawed through the doors.”


“Surely some of them didn't deserve that. Some of them had to be innocent.”

“It was dark.”


“So are you going to try to arrest me?”

“You sound as if you'd like that.”

“Oh, I would. Well, I'd like to see you try. I'd like that very, very much.”


~
Buffy The Vampire Slayer Issue 25

Xander assembles The Judge, which is a non-event. The Boom lot meet the tv 90s gang. People eat shrimp tacos. 90s Cordy is seen. Faith whines. Snyder lurks. As does the Mayor. Willow is so utterly pathetic. There's a shrimp joke. The whole Boom/90s crossover is a total non event. 😠😡


~
Mighty Morphin Issue 7

A Zeo crystal is seen. Matt has betrayed the Rangers to ally with Zedd, big suprise. Goldar's a fool. Billy also betrayed the Rangers and still hasn't admitted it. Tommy rages. Kim smacks Matt. Grace justifies. I hate these people. Kim is so desperate. 🤮🤢


Best Line:

“Lord Zedd is going to be so mad at me."

To Light The Way To Bed

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Fear Street' trailer

Killer capital USA, I'm there.


'Masters Of The Universe: Revelation' trailer

This is a lot.


'The Handmaid's Tale' 4x10 promo

Shut up June.


'Cruel Summer' 1x10 promo

No.


'Batwoman' 2x16 promo

Sigh.


'Murder at The Cottage' promo

Mmmm.


I won't be reviewing 'Jupiter's Legacy Vol 1'.


What's nettle syrup?


I saw the eclipse.


I will review season 2 of 'Biohackers'.


'BBC News' Quotes:

“Turned back by a warship.”


“Wouldn't comply for long.”


“Solve the great problems of our time.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Certainly no public acceptance of it in any way.”


“Electoral salvation.”


“Famed hero.”


“Lice skirts.”


“Retaliatory action.”


“World rarely fails to turn the other way.”


“Local hostility.”


“Future betrayed him.”


“Adverse possession.”


“Often evoked yet never seen.”


“Pre-exisitng fictional universe.”


“Empowered floaty people.”


“Be exiled and ultimately abandoned by his friends and family.”


'A Crime To Remember' Quotes:

“Kind of woman who doesn't exist anymore.”


“Best has been.”


'In The Footsteps Of Killers' Quotes:

“Gross injustice done to them.”


“Enormous threat.”


'RTE News' Quotes:

“This deception is in the past.”


“Social desirability bias.”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Doing loss prevention.”


“Treat me like one of the hos from the street!”


“Rule and expectancy free life.”


“Touch my straw.”


“Living at home is hell.”


'Breeders' Quotes:

“Literally had to wait 20 years until you could see it again!”


“You can speak middle class.”


'Vanity Fair' Quote:

“Nobody came into their houses that the husbands didn't approve of.”


'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' Quote:

“Unnecessary attention drawn where it ought not to be.”

Biohackers Season 2: Release Date & Story Details | Screen Rant

Sergio Balleseros

On Becoming A God In Central Florida 1x03+Prodigal Son 2x01+Extant 2x09&2x10 Reviewed 👎👎

A Positive Spin!

Dogmatism trumps kindness in FAM. Krystal has an intense and lonely existence. Krystal wants to lay bare FAM's depravity and then she doesn't. FAM has an asphyxiating dogma. There is mercilessly focused scorn. Cody's dad is in jail and won't let him see him. Cody is a true believer.


There is irascibility and a culture of grievance. FAM is plaitudinous. This has major deficiencies. Krystal steals hot dogs to survive. Krystal has a poaching fine to pay. Cody is too ignorant to function. There are temptations and expectations. This was bad.


Julie Benz shows up briefly again. Travis had a sad secret. Oh holy hell, Travis really bought into FAM: literally. FAM is all consequences be damned. Krystal fears a vehement backlash. There are thoughts and opinions and social culture and self inflicted damage. There are difficult circumstances.


Krystal has a collective burden. FAM feels no responsibility for the havoc they cause and no responsibility to protect. Krystal is distraught and beleaguered. FAM ruins families and does not like adverse comments. Paula Abdul is listened to. FAM brainwashes families. This was hollow and woeful and there is inefficiency.


There is a secret and hypocrisy and dishonesty and no sincerity or integrity. A man screams. Cody is not disarmingly convincing. Nobody is gracious. This was bizarre. Reporters lurk. FAM has a reign of terror. FAM nuts are intractable. This was not ruminative or droll or very important.


Krystal questions the structures she has chosen to live, work and create with. There are contentious issues and negative reactions. Krystal makes a speech. This was fairly disastrous and mortifying. There are ethical demotions. Nobody cares about the dispossession of the poor. Krystal wants cachet and goodwill.


There are ideological midpoints.Krystal is wry and there is deceptive power. People are beleguered. There is no scrutiny. A poor parrot dies. FAM try to murder someone. There is randomness and craven sops.


Best Lines:

“People are terrified of no.”


“My house or jail.”


“Volunteering yourself as my target.”


“Crush your no.”


“I can't live in the stockroom forever.”


"Little less Benetton.”


“Suburban outreach.”


“People that live in cul de sacs.”


“Let me feel your yes!”


“I don't need your pity right now.”


“Wanted to believe so bad.”


“Hip hop youth but with a positive spin.”


“He's a crazy person.”


“Going broke for a lie.”


“Roach closet.”


“Had to throw out the tv!”


“Up my crack.”


“I know things.”


“Public loves a kook.”


“Shot em in the face!”


“Access to people.”


“Alligator widow lady.”


~
It's All In The Execution

Did TPTB just retool the show and cancel out all of the season 1 cliffhanger? This was not erudite. This was glaringly obvious. Having a serial killer for a father is Bright's key foundational story, psycho dad's legacy remains to this day. Didn't psycho dad escape? I guess not. Why are TPTB playing this for spectral camp?


Dastardly psycho dad giggles and prances. The killer sister acts like she never murdered anyone. Why is the sister always getting away with her crap? The mother annoys. Covid is mentioned. This was abysmal and so far removed from logic. This was flagrantly annoying. There are no multifarious possibilities. This was perplexing and one has no ethusiasm for this. There is no blood.


Who has their own private guillotine? Psycho dad briefly has a roommate. Psycho dad plays Bright who asked him for help to get rid of the lame season 1 big bad's body. Psycho dad is malevolent and inescapable. This was incompetence. This was ephemeral. This was not stirring or absorbing and not a recipe for tragedy. There is no excitment or subtlety.


There is no suspense or action or jeopardy. A mush mouth baddie attacks. There is no intrigue. There are reverberating effects from psycho dad. This was not plausible and there is SJW crap.


Best Lines:

“Ledge stuff.”


“That's not weird.”


“Get boltcutters and water.”


“Shower time not nearly as lively as I'd been led to believe.”


“A strain of French oak that's been extinct for over a century.”


“Fatal arts.”


“What's beneath us?”

“Sex dungeon.”


“Go ahead: crawl right in.”


“Miserable old bastard.”


“Giving off murdery vibes.”


~
The Other Side

Molly's dying of the dying. Where is Molly's father?!? Molly hallcinates her father. JD is a big deal in his own mind. TPTB try to redeem Julie – too late. Hybrids attack. FFS.


Don't Shoot The Messenger

Lucy rebels. Ethan gets a hard shutdown. Tobias dies. Molly gets a message from John. Why am I watching this crap?