March 24th, 2021

Dollanganger

The Drowning 1x02 + Who Killed Sara? (2021) 1x01

The Drowning 1x02

The mother creeps over Daniel. The father of Daniel is creepy and weird. There is mumbling about forgers. The mother has a horrible family. Tom's father wants the missing son declared dead. Various annoying bitches are in this. Tom's father denies Daniel is Tom. The acting is bad. Daniel's daddy fancies the mother. Why won't Daniel's dad let him have a guitar or talk about his mother? Daniel runs away and thinks he is Tom. This was absurd. The mother boils everyone's piss.


Best Lines:

“Why are you like this?”


“My ex husband and the woman who stole him from me.”


~
It Wasn't A Mistake

Alex spent 18 years in prison for killing his sister. He was framed by a rich family. We get a flashback of idiots partying on a boat to Ricky Martin. A girl died. The beardy Alex gets out. Cue buffonish mindgames. His purported priority is revenge on a family of unrepentant and inveterate liars who are secretive and toxic. He's hungry for interaction. There is a darkening outlook.

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Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Turistas aka Paradise Lost (2006) + The Look Of Love 👎👎

Turistas aka Paradise Lost (2006)

There is no local charm in this ridiculous, implausible, racist and sexist 'horror' that stars Josh Duhamel, Melissa George and Olivia Wilde. Nobody in this film will ever be A-list. The tourists are sterotypical ugly Americans. This film was unwatchable and uninteresting and lazy and it had no great amount of acclaim.


This film had no emotional heart and it was slight and silly. This film has no heavy presence in popular culture. George's character appears to have white girl dreads, also she is topless when she is horribly killed. FFS. People have phones from the 90s and this was ridiculous. There is no suspension of disbelief as this was completely implausible.


The idiots deserve to get the lard beaten out of them. There is no emotional heart just sleaze. Eventually after a long, long time the whiny, arrogant, hateful brats fall into the hands of organ thieves. This was not emotionally resonant. The idiots succumb, eventually. There are altercations and Duhamel has no point other than being a combative shirtless guy.


The idiots are robbed and this was appalling, pointless and pitiful. This film was rejected widely and heavily handely condemned. This is not worth your time or attention. They have no trepidation. Their options are foreclosed and nobody has any ethical savvy.


People are messy and difficult and they engage in ethical contortions. This was egregious and people do not live exemplary lives. This was horrifically slow and the nasty characters are reprobates. This was a very, very negative experience. This was particularly horrible and not joyous. They have their organs stolen which is traumatic for Duhamel, not the people who are you know murdered. There is no motivation to care. This is not a crisis of great magnitude and watching this is not to your benefit.


The idiots had no plans for their lives or self-awareness or openess or friendliness. This deserved to be derided. Why does Duhamel escape the harsher consequnces? There is an air of despondency. If you want to see a film based on an urban myth, watch 'Urban Legend'. The idiots have no apprehension. The ending is dumb ass as the unsettled and distressed survivors leg it. Be dismissive of this implausible film.


Best Lines:

“Such a tourist!”


“I knew he was dodgy.”


“Grubby foreign tourists.”


“Very european hips.”


“We have no money. We have no way out of here.”


“Dead, they are worthless.”


“No designs on your organs! Your kidneys are safe with us!”


~
The Look Of Love (2013)

A biopic of Paul Raymond and his talentless and doomed daughter Debbie. This was pointless.

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To Light The Way To Bed

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Who Killed Sara?' trailer

A dubbed Spanish revenge series.


Best Lines:

“The same fool you sent to prison.”


“Won't get another good night's sleep.”


'Supergirl' season 6 promo

Lex is still around? FFS.


Best Line:

“Aliens shouldn't be Earth's saviours.”


'The Drowning' 1x03 promo

WTF?


'Debris' 1x05 promo

No.


'Hollyoaks' trailer

Brody sticks with the deranged Summer. Maxine and the ancient looking Warren get back together. Mercedes shags Romeo? Ste and James hook up, oh vom. JP gurns over George. A perv. Sienna's arrested. What happens with JP?


Best Line:

“Your love always comes with a punishment!”


There are pickle forks?


One has to adjust one's expectations. I have bitterness and resentment. People need reprisals.People are peristently wrong and wrong on every level. The easiest thing in the world for some people is to say nothing. My ex did the worst kind of deception. There is disregard and people acting like they are blameless. People seem stubbornly determined to be awful and exclusionary.


Memor Amici.


Recall the 'Schoolgirls From Heck' storyline in 'Excalibur'?


I won't read 'The Castaways'.


'RTE News' Quotes:

“Come to our city and act up.”


“No more divides between food and non-food.”


“Closure by another name.”


“Worst year in living memory.”


'How I Met Your Mother' Quotes:

“Local jerk.”


“Tragically haunting.”


'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Any convincing reason.”


“Terrible schism.”


“Hasn't come out of this well.”


“Avoid a trigger incident.”


“Criminal thuggery and disorder.”


'South Park' Quote:

Go to sleep in an alley behind the crack house.”


'Diagnosis Murder' Quotes:

“Conducting autopsies in a halter top!”


“Uses a dead guy's rib as a kendo stick.”


Do people really read this stuff?”

“Only people with bad taste.”


“Stop watching your old reruns!”


“Neat piece of plotting.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“It made complete sense that he should be.”


“Always destined to be a classic.”


“Down-the-bill Happy Days character.”


“Compliant opponent.”


“Such a martial arts lethal weapon that he could beat up five strapping ne'er-do-wells who are 40 years his junior (and all a good foot taller than him).”


“Old guy getting a kid to spend a week dickying up his house, his decking, his fence and his collection of vintage cars to teach four rudimentary defensive blocks.”


“A break clause.”


“You have no right to exist in a public space,”


“Outsized retaliation.”


“Forced entry.”


“A strange and extraordinary year.”


“Doing conspicuously better.”


“Which is regarded – albeit with increasing anxiety-”


“One of the few means of everyday cultural expression.”


“Gloomier note.”


“Associated disrespect.”


“Perplxing errors.”


“Planned consequences.”


“Continued insistence.”


“Medico-politcal discourse that dominates our lives,”


“Persuasive advocate.”


“Each has disappointed the political camp that invested the greatest hopes in them,”


“Malicious effort.”


“Ever-decreasing choices.”


“Gesture proved divisive.”


“Excruciatingly difficult – and high stakes – choices.”


“Reaching the limits of its forbearance and co-operation.”


'Football's Darkest Secrets' Quotes:

“Not a single word was ever said by anyone to anyone.”


“Nothing was ever said.”


“Lack of success has been conspicious.”


“No way I'm going to get believed.”


'The Divines' Quotes:

“Hostile locals.”


“I don't have any school friends.”


'JAG' Quote:

“Run until they drop, puke or pray.”


'Panorama' Quotes:

“Limits of exhaustion.”


“Emotionally and physically worn out.”


'BBC News' Quotes:

“Funnel web spider plague.”


“Changing the global dialogue.”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Doesn't take no very well.”


“Doesn't do anything.”


“When he's not there – it's very peaceful.”


~
On 'Hollyoaks': JP lives artifically and hypocritically. One can't understand what motivates him at all. George is creepy and weird and petty and doleful. This soap is sublimely tedious. George has gone full tilt psycho.

Hawkeye

Book Review: Jinty: Land Of No Tears! & The Human Zoo

This is a reprint of 2 stories from the long defunct girls comic. One is from 1977-1978 and one is from 1978-1979. As the intro states: “Back in the day Jinty sold an impressive 130,000 copies a week. That target audience never went away; it was the publishers who deserted them.”


Land Of No Tears!

Cassy is an evil cripple who is transported into a dystopian future where Perfecta a bully awaits her. There is babbling about hive mothers and red reports. Being imperfect is a crime in this future. Children are locked in cupboards as punishment for crying and Cassy is given a cold shower as punishment for being angry. Cassy is made a servant to Perfecta who she calls fancy-drawers and provokes.


This future is emotionless and Cassy can't stop instigating confrontations. Perfecta is a posh idiot. Cassy faces regrettable moments and is idiotic. This is all a formative experience for Cassy. She's tossed in with Gammas who are rejects like her. Perfecta is an Alpha. Cassy plots to win the Golden Girl award in a sporting event. But first she has to make the Gammas sporty. Somehow they survive by eating the Alpha girls leftovers.


One Gamma girl's mother looks like Bette Davis in 'Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?' - there is a reason for that. There is talk of computer tape and a mystery. This was bizarre but okay.


Best Lines:

“That girl must have escaped from an asylum or something.”


“The water from the eyes...such showing of emotion is strictly forbidden.”


“You are naturally jealous because I am superior.”


“Miss Norm.”


“Lose, reject! Lose!”


“Nasty woman! Nasty.”


“Cold, grim dormitory.”


“Even better than the Roumanian gymnasts I used to watch on telly.”


“I thought I heard the hateful sound of tears running.”


The Human Zoo

This is an animal rights tale. Various people are abducted by aliens for a human zoo. There is talk of a quartz watch. The aliens see the humans as animals. The aliens have a ruthless edge and act like this is normal behaviour. What do the captives do for the bathroom? One captive ends up in the outlands and encounters human looking aliens who are said to be the original inhabitants. The human looking aliens are hunted. Where did the human looking aliens come from? The aliens fear water. This was okay but the ending was stupid.


Best Lines:

“We've been asleep for nine months? Asleep on this floor!”


“Stop wasting your body fluid,”


“The goat has apparently abandoned Shona.”


“Silent death.”


“Feted as some sort of prophet.”

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Scary Books

FutureState Teen Titans2+FutureState Nightwing2+Power Rangers4+Mighty Morphin4&5+BTVS22&23 + 1 more

Future State: Teen Titans Issue 2

I haven't read issue 1 yet, for reasons. Is this what the abandoned 5G storyline was to have been? Dick's gone dark. What is the H-Dial? Who or what are the four riders of the apocalypse?


What happened? Shazam lurks. There is exposition. Cyborg and Beast Boy are merged? Who is Red X and why should I care? This was compellingly bleak even if I've no idea what's going on or why. This was not emotionally true. TPTB do active concealment of who Red X is – as if I care.


Best Lines:

“He's finally taking responsibility for what he helped unleash.”


“The League doesn't trust each other, let alone us. What's left of us.”


“Stand guard...for the rest of time.”


“Heroverse.”


“Hacked the H-Dial.”


~
Future State: Nightwing Issue 2

I haven't read issue 1, for reasons. Who is the Magistrate who rules a dystopian future? Remember the old forgotten storyline where Tim Drake ruled a dystopian future? Nightwing leads a rebellion. Who's the new Batman? Oh who cares. Why is Nightwing hanging out in Arkham? Oracle and Batwoman and Man-Bat lurk. Who is the Robin? Tim or Damian? Which Batgirl is this and which Huntress? Why is Two-Face a good guy? What happened to Bruce? People are desperate to escape their fate. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“The only method that works for his kind ---without mercy.”


“Fascist TV network.”


“Unwritten worlds of tomorrow.”


“A laugh “that must have come from hell”.”


“The little prince and the pretender.”


~
Power Rangers Issue 4

The idiotic Jason, Trini and Zack see Drakkon's most private fantasy. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“Run now, gloat later!”


“Never-ending existence.”


“So why'd Dark Specter barbecue Gorvinos 3?”

“Wasn't him. It was something else. Something even the Alliance Of Evil is nervous about.”


~
Mighty Morphin Issue 4

We get more endless boring Zordon flashbacks and the new Green Ranger uses the Dragonzord. This was stupid as the new Green Ranger and Grace are annoying. There are incoherent fights and the new Green Ranger reveals himself as Matt. Oh FFS.


Best Lines:

“Apologies for the theatricality.”


“Your opinions are of little consequence.”


Mighty Morphin Issue 5

We get flashbacks to Matt's origin. Grace makes unwarrented demands. Who asked for this? Nobody. Grace is a fascist loon. Matt can't fight but he can pose. Billy's a massive jerk. I don't want a Matt/Kim/Tommy love triangle. Lord I hate Grace and Matt and I did not like or want this.


Best Lines:

“Try to kill him back then!”


“One minute he's against them, the next he's with them. Now he's...whatever?”


“I'm driving a robot lizard the size of a building with nothing but a magic flute...”


~
Buffy The Vampire Slayer Issue 22

Faith and Wesley lurk. The art is ugly and who cares about the Council? People whine and I've no idea what is going on or why. This was boring.


Best Line:

“I didn't know it could be like this.”


Buffy The Vampire Slayer Issue 23

Xander whines. The art is ugly. People are fundamentally unfair. Wesley's dumb, Willow goes Dark Willow, Buffy is a bitch to Faith and Anya plots. Morgan lurks in a cloak. This was not absorbing or exquisitely paced. There is no emotional power. Xander is the single worst thing about this.


~
Joker/Harley: Criminal Sanity Issue 7

Harley crosses a line. The Joker has faults and responsibility. Harley has grievances. The Joker strikes and Harley gets tickets to see the Black Canary band. The Joker and Harley are equally obsessed. This was good.


Best Lines:

“Something inside of me broke in a way that couldn't be fixed. Or maybe I didn't want to be fixed.”


“I set a psychopathic killer free.”


“He has a routine and it never varies.”


“But if I'm wrong – or if I do find him and I'm not the one who walks away--”