February 8th, 2021


Movie Review: The Karate Kid (1984)

This spawned 3 sequels, a cartoon, a remake, comics and 'Cobra Kai'. Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Elisabeth Shue, Martin Kove and William Zabka star. Daniel LaRusso (Macchio) is in the strange land of LA, he is a hothead and has no friends. Johnny (Zabka) is the school bully. Daniel is allergic to sleeves and is skinny and his mother has a church lady perm. This was tiresome, they move into a grotty apartment building. A weirdo janitor (Morita) lurks. There is no collaboration, empathy or communication. Johnny ride his motorbike and harasses his ex Ali (Shue).

School bully/karate wannabe Johnny peaked in 1984 and Daniel has faltering dignity. 80S music blares and the bully and his posse does sullen glares and the bully is a radio stealing abuser mad psychopath who caused palpable anguish and was void of redeeming qualities. Johnny is the 80s movie bad guy who is precisely what kids had learnt to fear.

Why such a nostalgia boom around this film? Johnny has a persistent vendetta and is nasty near psychotic jerkass. This was banality and sorely lacking. Teens make gleeful assertions. Daniel's black eye and later injuries are ignored by his mother and school. This was flimsy. This film has no vibrancy or allure. Johnny keeps on meancing. This was wearisome and TPTB ignored increasingly contentious bullying.

There is venality and violence. Daniel has a bleak worldview and his mother ignores all the bullying and turmoil. Johnny never apologised for the grim relentless routine of bullying. How is the bullying seen as normal on any level? Daniel's desperate pleas are ignored. The sensei (Morita) speaks like a fortune cookie. This was pathetically banal. Johnny is unsufferable and belongs to the thug dojo Cobra Kai. There is an All Valley Karate Championship. Why isn't Johnny arrested for assault?

This was chronically unsatisfying. Johnny is on a truly calamitous path. Whatever the faults Johnny had and there were many,they paled in comparison to the increasingly strident demands of his evil mentor Kreese (Kove). This was unrevealing. There is no drama driven storytelling. Daniel is stricken and his mother is a nag. Daniel has spiralling panic. This movie defies adequate description. There are imbeclic circumstances and corrosive resentment. Daniel has to wash and wax cars. There is no searing intensity of purpose. This was facile. Daniel has desperate solitude.

Johnny holds views that will make him deeply unpoular in more enlightened times. This was fateful for Johnny, who'd always be haunted by the dark sins of his past. This was not even middling. Daniel is troubled. This film was little more than pretension. Johnny caused terror and misery and does a defence of his poor decision making. There is babbling about the crane technique. This is the grimmest time possible and this was not wrenching.

There are no female karate students. One is uncomprehending how Johnny's predatory stance and despicable trajectory went unpunished. Cobra Kai are not mesmerisingly merciless. Johnny is absolutely disgraceful. Things are fractious and dreadful. Johnny's world as he knew it collapsed after this film. This has no inherent appeal. This was ridiculous superficial and Johnny takes violent advantage.

Cobra Kai has cyncial fantaticism. This was disastrous. Cobra Kai is mercilesslly violent. A key moral test takes place. Daniel's mother is unwilling or incapable of assisting him or parenting him. Body By Jake was involved in this. Johnny is relentless. His and Daniel's feud would only intensify in the 21st century. Mr Miyagi mentors Daniel. Kreese is far less formidable than he thinks he is as he feuds with teenagers.

Johnny made Daniel's life intolerable and wasn't amenable. Johnny's downfall remains a priority. Johnny is contentious. One is weary of him. Johnny gets kicked in the face by the silly looking crane kick. There is no deep reflection. Chad McQueen was in this.

Best Lines:

“Isn't exactly a dump we're moving to.”

“End of the line.”

“You're telling me.”

“This place is a jump, you should go back to New Jersey.”

“Hot a nose for my own.”

“After, after.”


“Not at a Y, a good school.”

“You're dead meat!”

“Yes sensei!”

“Mercy is for the weak!”

“A man confronts you, he is the enemy!”

“Wax on, wax off.”

“Where do these cars come from?”


“Don't do me any more favours.”

“Teacher day, student do.”

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To Get One Through Testing Times...

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Sergio Balleseros

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'In The Earth' teaser

Pandemic horror. Ugh? Not soul jarring.

'Castle Rock' season 2 promo

Annie Wilkes has crazy in her eyes.

'Superman & Lois' trailer

Piss off kids.

'The Equalizer' 1x02 promo

“That's the sound of you not talking.”

'Old' promo

The acting is so bad.

'The Falcon And The Winter Solider' trailer

Zemo. Sharon. Fights.

'Cadillac' superbowl ad

How did Winona have baby Scissorhands????

'The Head' (2020) trailer


Sea salt & black pepper crisps – nice.

Cou d'one au foie gras de canard – mmmm.

I'm tired of habitual inconsiderate behaviour.

On 'Cobra Kai': Johnny showing Miguel his 1984 shirtless beefcake photos is a bit....groomingish.

It's utterly, irrevocably over. My ex did unforgivable behaviour. He has done no repentance or reparation. Forever was cut short.

I want a rose calisson body lotion and rose body oil and scarlet poppy cologne intense and rose prick candle. I want a moon pendant in gold, diamonds and mother of pearl and a handmade tray.

'Horror House' was a Japanese board game.


I'd try bloody mary salad.

What is kachumber salad or mint raita? What's a bitter chocolate delice?

'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“Fast lane to complacency.”

“Limited and suffocated by it.”

“Not living and not taking chances.”

“Private sacrifices.”

“Despairing lyrics.”

“Gritty live venues.”

“Decimated world.”


“A target for drunks in pubs.”

“Tabloid target.”

“Shamelessly flaunted or assiduously normalised.”

"Histrionic indignation.”

“Unable to reach out from his solitariness.”


“Divinely granted birthright.”

“Deep-rooted sense that something, somewhere has happened.”

“Pyrrhic triumph.”

“A new earnestness.”

“Relentlessly Victorian.”

“Recalled grievances.”

“Scapegoating narrative.”

“Mock any hope of escape.”

“Starved of joy.”

“Reviled subcultures.”

“Abominable, heatenish liqor...enuucht our husbands.”

“An inadequate response.”

“His idea of what makes you a man.”

“Some of them were hurting each other – but consenually.”

“Saw things I never dreampt existed.”

“Forbidden to forbid.”

“Scared of the professional consequnces.”

“This experience was not normal.”

“Force an apology.”

“Never concedes.”

“Strictly codified rules of Parisian social interaction.”

“Deigned to lay his eyes on me?”

“Not a man to be discouraged.”

“Prohibitively expensive patisserie.”

“All for me.”

“Sometimes openly hostile.”

“Reviled by all decent people.”

“No one, apparently was particularly disturbed.”

“Strength and resolve were critical. Truth was irrelevant, weakness a sin and defeat an impossibility.”

“Long-dead president of Venezuela.”

“Dastardly plot.”

“Evidence free.”

“Served him very poorly.”

“Never give up, never concede.”

“What happens in his head is the only reasonable reality.”

“You succeed by being willing to go furthur than the other person.”

“Deranged take.”

“Ominious foreshadowing of what was to come.”

“What do you want to eat that for? It's food for turkeys!”


“Unknowable vastness.”

“Cultural memory.”

“Ossification, the sense of continuity.”

“Grew up in mayhem.”

“Winning culture.”

“We don't want these things.”

“Sought marital advice from a lavatory attendant.”

'Virgin Media News' Quote:

“Glacial break.”

'BusinessPost Food & Wine' Quotes:

“Evaporative cooling.”

“Engines of the earth.”

'The Sunday Business Post' Quotes:

“Joy is furthest from my mind whenever I see it.”

“Cultivates a life on Facebook.”

“Culture defining.”

“Growing sinister evidence.”

“Malevolent force.”

'Cobra Kai' Quotes:

“Dimestore Freddy Krueger.”

“You did what I always thought you could do: you won.”

“The losers are running the school?”

“Hugs not hits.”

“Catfight that got you expelled.”

“Guess the garbage doesn't fall far from the truck.”

“The coma usually wins.”

“Even less charming that this.”

“Everybody's got a sob story.”

“Don't make me throw a shoe at you!”

“Desperate and a little creepy.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Exploring our defintions of theatre.”

“Edgy by default.”

“Disastrous attempt.”

“Designed (successfully) to provoke international outrage.”

“Disaster waiting to happen.”

“War is unthinkable.”

“Tacitly advocated.”

“Mutual contmept and accusation.”

“Seeming disregard.”

“Lack of effective response.”

“Long compained about his content.”

“Seldom bows to critics,”

“Uneasy questions.”

“No urgency or desire.”

“Extreme anti-social behaviour by groups of teenagers.”

“Remained derelict and vacant.”

“Offsets its contribution to the locality.”

'Law & Order' Quotes:

“No one walks on this.”

“Forfeits the right to get any older.”

'Teen Titans Go!' Quote:

“Creepy guy in the basement.”

On 'Hollyoaks': JP will no doubt remain bizarrely smitten by the toxic and coercive George for months. How long will TPTB drag this plot out? Look at how long they tormented Tony for. He was abducted by a serial killer and later tormented by his mad dad and this took up 2 years! One ponders JP's purpose in life. JP is designed to aggravate. One feels no sadness or despair for JP. He is as actively malevolent as George.

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