February 3rd, 2021

Kylo Ren

Movie Reviews: Beautiful Boy + All My Friends Are Dead

Beautiful Boy (2018)

In a worrying development, a son becomes a malevolent presence in his family by becoming a meth addict. The dad is shifty looking. This tries for dramatic stillness and motivated reasoning. This story has a certain inevitable familiarity.


It's like a 'Dr Phil' ep. This is a true story. There are no rich dramatic pickings. The son is in a perilous state, goes missing and never once says sorry for putting his family through a terrible ordeal. The son causes horrible events and is more than mildly troublesome. This was increasingly tedious and made by cliche-merchants. The man has a properly nasty uninvolved uncaring ex-wife.


The son does his James Franco impression in this operatically daft film. The dad is permanently distraught. The stepmother doesn't speak much. This was not utterly compelling. The son has personal awfulness. Things are ill-boding. There are profound consequnces and why does the dad never call the police on his missing son? Isn't an absolute and dramatic emergency?


The son comes back and is curmudgeonly. Steve Carell, Timothee Chalamet and Maura Tierney star. The junkie son seeks out misery with ruthless efficency. His actions are deliberate and consistent as he behaves appallingly. This was not lively or interesting – this was flat and unconvincing. Increasingly grim things happen and there are shattering announcements and there are tragic revelations and dad acts as the moral arbiter of the known universe.


This tries to be heart-breaking and heart-wrenching. The son is a foetid horror who is a diabolical abomination. To say this film leaves you unimpressed is an understatement. The son is sly and is sent to rehab. His bitch mother finally shows up after the movie is halfway through. There is ugly wallpaper and carpet. The son skips out on a halfway house. Sober living does not come into it. The son needs a haircut and a thrashing.


Nic the son is a joke. The father has kids by his new wife. He also has 2 dogs. The son legs it. The rehab don't look for him. The father finds the son wet in an alley. How? The son creates havoc. The father did drugs with his bright, artistic, writer son. The dad, David broods. Chunks of the story is missing, this is told in non-linear fashion. The son reveals he has been a junkie for years. He still has boyband hair. Nic was on the waterpolo team and whines that his dad is always disappointed with him.


Nic didn't go to college but then he does. Karen the stepmother stares. The passage of time is unclear. Nic's bitch mother does not feature in his life. Karen is an artist – she paints trees. Nic steals pills from his girlfriend's family. This was not unsparing. Nic engages in unconscionable folly. He googles drugs in the college library and shoots up in his dorm. He's casually cruel and ends up gonked out on the streets in a stupid hat.


Nic lies about AA and drives whilst high. He steals $8 from his half-brother. He never repays it or says sorry. Nic lies and accuses his family of suffocating him. David finds Nic's notebook full of crazy. Timothy Hutton of 'Taps' and 'Hill House' has a cameo. There is exposition and Nic does shameful and ludicrous things and makes impossible choices and decisions. Nic compounds his misery. This was bracingly fatalistic. David talks to an unhelpful junkie. David drives around looking for the useless Nic. Truly malign forces are out there. David buys drugs and does them and this act is never mentioned or discussed again.


This was discomfitting and people make demonstably disastrous life choices. There are sinister proceedings. Nic needs pummelling into submisison. How do people emotionally survive having a thankless son? David imagined his son had an idealistic life. Nic wants money off his dad and has grandiose plans and lies. Nic accuses his father of guilt tripping and is vile to his father. Why didn't his mother get custody?


David has Hollywood teeth and Nic has nice teeth for a junkie. Does Karen ever speak? Why are Karen and David's children blonde? Nic ODs in NY and checks out of hospital. How paid for his hospital visit? How did David find his son in NY? Nic did unforgivable betrayals and his useless mother finally shows up. Nic's arms are track mark free. Where's the tough love and rock bottom? Nic graduates. HOW?


Nic's ex does drugs. Vicky aka Nic's mom is useless. There is stutter talking and David screams and works for Rolling Stone. Nic and his ex, Lauren, hook up again and break into David's house. Don't David and Karen have an alarm? The young kids don't age. Nic is callous and has malicious motives and Nick lacks a shame response to his inquities. This was more than unsatisfying. There is no resonance. This was dismal and Nic is inept.


David finally cuts Nic off. Why hasn't Nic been arrested? Vicky is ashamed. There is nice scenery. What became of Lauren after Nic ditched her after her overdose? Nic does drugs in a toilet. Nic gets ready to meet his fate which isn't death or jail. Finally Nic has track marks. This film just ends. Text informs us that the real Nic has been sober for 8 years. The real David and Nic wrote the books this movie was based on.


Best Lines:

“Didn't you see this coming?”


“He needs treatment and fast.”


“Not here by choice.”


“Reading misanthropes.”


“I wish you wouldn't talk to everybody about it.”


“Please don't despair.”


“Relapse is a form of recovery?”


“Can you blame me?”


“Are you high right now?”


“Where does this end?”


“You don't like who I am now!”


“Just to feel something.”


“Horrible cycle.”


“Unable. Not unwilling.”


“Who promised you what. Success percentage is in the single digits.”


“Doing what needs to be done.”


“Psychological terror.”


“Charge $40,000 a month.”


“Look at my ass baby!”


“Thank you for loving him.”


“You understand why right?”


“I put myself here!”


“What do you think that I do all day?”


“Try to be reasonable.”


“I'm done.”


“Living a hell in small rooms.”


“Alley fights.”


“Please don't hate me dad. I know I did wrong.”


“He sounds desperate.”


“Nothing we do has any effect on him.”


“I don't think you can save people.”


“Been in mourning for years.”


“Life had slipped away into sorrow.”


“Worse situations. And there were plenty of those.”


“Overlooks all basic problems.”


“Alley adversary.”


“We're the problem?”


~
All My Friends Are Dead (2020)

This Polish 'horror' is not emollient. This was utterly incompetent and damaging. A New Year's Eve goes awry. This was dubbed. There are dead bodies and an idiot cop and anger and anxiety. There is a muddled emotional narrative.


This was embarassing and dull and full of gobdaws. This was an impetuous debacle that was cack handed. Sinister forces are at work. Traumatic events are shrugged off. This was not imaginative. Malevolent assertions are made. This was a preposterous enterprise. This was wholly dysfunctional and lamentably slow. Catastrophic events unfold and this was not fiercely competent.


This film has a self-defeating inability to entertain. Girls are hoydenish. People are awful and frustrating. This film is some form of lunacy. This was all incoherence and sexist and full of reckless stances. This film was a disastrous blunder and it has significant problem. Nothing is thoughtfully portrayed. This was futile and there is T&A in this unwatchable dreck. This causes bordeom and manifestly fails.


Best Lines:

“Double digit body count.”


“Holiday ski trip. How original.”


“Both in the loony bin.”


“Home alone?”

“Just like Kevin.”


“Rough relationship that cut you so deep the scars still haven't healed.”


“Lifetime of disappointment.”


“No puking, no joking.”

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Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Punky Brewster' trailer

The 80s sitcom gets a sequel. No.


'Back' promo

Mmmm.


'All My Friends Are Dead' trailer

No. This trailer promises chaos. It lies.


'Dead Pixels' promo

Mmmm.


'The Disaster Artist' clips

James Franco is too good an actor for this.


'The Room' clip

Seriously WTF is this?


Elderflower lemonade – mmm.


RIP Sir Tom Moore.


My ex made a shocking decision. I feel intense anger. The reason for my ex's actions are an enduring mystery. My ex did a grevious betrayal. Did my ex ghost me in a calm and purposeful way? My ex did a breach of trust.


'RTE News' Quote:

“Mutations of concern.”


'Channel 4 News' Quote:

“Cynical politics at best.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Eventual acceptance.”


“Avoid running into the older brothers of some of his schoolmates.”


“That area was notorious, the buses wouldn't even drive through.”


“Domestic confinement.”


“Failed to reach their potential opportunities.”


“Insupportable.”


“Disorientated by the pace of change.”


“National self-doubt.”


“Never not over anything”


“Annoying if tolerable.”


“Simultaneously amused, amazed and depressed.”


“Thrives on culture and international visitors,”


“Vicious cycle of debt and liquidity problems.”


“Show their opposition.”


“Orgy of outrage.”


“Words can have very dangerous consequnces.”


“Keeping for itself all vaccines produced in its territory.”


“Ethical council.”


“Not having the academic calibre.”


“Lunacy Regulation.”


“Malevolent and iniquitous intent.”


“Live up to the worst EU sterotypes.”


“Often the subject of grumbles.”


“Can shut out the relevant experts in thier enthusiasm to get a favoured policy done.”


“Habitual ire.”


“Relentless focus.”


'This Is The End' Quotes:

“I'm drinking and smoking weed. I'm on a cleanse; I'm not psychotic.”


“You don't even know what gluten is.”


“House bitch.”


“For you, I will go.”


“Historical triggers.”


“I've had a victim mentality my whole life.”


“You do seem to hate a lot of things.”


“I bet you hate movies that are universally loved”


'54 Days' Quote:

“Global pandemic potential.”


'Dead Pixels' Quotes:

“Lash myself with a scart cable.”


“Gets a bit bitey and humpy.”


“Rescuing me from the weirdoes.”


~
On 'Hollyoaks': one waits for George and JP's relationship to meet its disastrous end. Brody is tempted away from Sienna by the dumb bint Summer. Cindy wants Ollie gone. JP is awful and leaves a drunken bitchy voicemail on George's phone. He's playing right into George's hands. The McQueens get away with their crap. Brody walks out on Sienna with one tiny man-bag of his stuff. Where are her twins?!?!?


JP insults Dean. Shut up you tool. Dean sleeps in a car park in a tent during a global pandemic. Mercedes thinks this is hilarious. Why is the pub open during a pandemic? George accuses of JP flirting with James in front of his family. Where is Mercedes' son? Brody flirts with Summer cos he is a tool. George messes with Dean to mess with JP's tiny pea brain. This show is ramshackle. JP's years of attention seeking over reactions have led him to George. JP performs hysteria. Nothing is mournfully observed. George is casually deranged.


Best Lines:

“Drunken paranoid accusations.”


“That scruffy thing that lives in car park?”


“Sorry for calling you thick.”


“Now you care?”

Groundhog GIF by Nature on PBSVIDEO Teen Mom Jenelle Evans costume from True Blood Season 4 finale *  starcasm.net

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