January 27th, 2021


Book Review: Top Marks For Murder

Top Marks For Murder by Robin Stevens

Death is back at Deepdean in this irreverent book. The bullying smug Daisy and her lickspittle Hazel face domestic melodrama and the macabre and the mundane in this plain bad novel. Daisy is unpleasant and makes life bitter.

Best Lines:

“But we are up to no good, I suppose.”

“We are quite different from the rest of humanity, Hazel,”

“I'd forgotten how diabolical it is to be a schoolgirl!”

“As though we are hovering on the edge of wickedness at all time, and only a careful grownup eye can stop us falling prey to it.”

“You sound like a fearful Red,”

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Quotes & Stuff

Raspberry panna cotta – lovely.

Ioan Gruffudd dumped his career ruining wife. 😀😀😀

I feel aggrieved. My ex = repellent. My ex = entirely unpleasant. My ex has no huge regret.

'Our World' Quotes:

“The crowds they live for.”

“Cultural extinction.”

“Inner beast in people.”

“Any level of seriousness.”

“Terrible problem.”

“Don't get it.”

“Good teaching man.”

'Dead Pixels' Quotes:

“Million year old hag!”

“Bleakest thing I have ever seen.”


“Genital hiroshoma.”

This isn't Gwyneth Paltrow world.”

“Even crackheads don't do donkey rides.”

“Please don't urinate in any of my nice drinking glasses.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Generational quarterbacks.”

“Been in contact some shady characters.”

“Lost their purpose.”

“Had to be obedient all the time.”

“Societal impact.”

“Reached the status he had craved.”

“Familial pressure.”

“Enemy capture.”

“Ignominious collapse.”

“Extremely unhappy.”

“Socially acceptable version of himself in public.”

“Isn't a future I want for any of us,”

“Far-reaching impact on our democracy.”

“Marrying a foreigner would give her a bad reputation.”

“Yet another affront to the city.”

“Chronic disrespect and disregard for family rules and authority.”

“Believe impossible things.”

“Belongs to a former time.”

“That was a dreaful thing.”

“Cultural metropoles-”

“Beyond legal challenge.”

“Ensure legitimacy and acceptance.”

'Mark Kermode's Secrets Of Cinema' Quotes:

“Bring me the axe.”

“Learn to live in a very strange new world.”

“Delivers Shakespearan speeches to his bubble machine.”

“Lastingly watchable.”

“Make great cinema out of nothing.”

“Overcoming lack of talent through sheer persistence.”

“Taking studios and careers down with them.”

“Reviled by critics and avoided by audiences.”

“Intergalactic romance between a human being and a duck.”

“Cost as much as the invasion of a small country.”

“I used to love doggie chow.”

“Widely derided.”

“Worthy of repeat viewings.”

“Bad as the land they live in.”

“Uniquely strange.”

“Clandestine activities.”

“Weird worshippers of other kinds.”

“Long after their appeal to mainstream audiences had waned.”

“Censors and complainers.”

“Doors are made to knock on.”

“Must see titles.”

“Deadly pagan cermony.”

“What dreadful things you might bring about.”

“Strange and sinister neighbours.”

“Show us things many non-cultists wish they wouldn't.”

“Since banning something very seldom makes it go away.”

“Dare party.”

“Cinematic endurance test.”

“Too horrible for home viewing.”

“Extreme personality traits.”

“Employing perversion and sensation.”

“Gasp inducing.”

“Dared to show the unshowable.”

“Craven ends.”

“Film they apparently wish they'd never made.”

'Panorama' Quotes:

“I struggle to believe that.”

“Grandchildren he's never met.”

'Siar Sna 90idi' Quotes:

“Bloody awful in my mind.”

“Social responsibility.”

'Violent Child, Desperate Parents' Quotes:

“Don't ignore me!”

“Dominated the family.”

“Murderous intent.”

“One of his brother's fathers.”

“Nursing a resentment.”

“Shouting him down.”

'BBC News' Quote:

“Reflect on the enormity of the pandemic.”

On 'Hollyoaks': Ollie's on the ket again because Luke was a terrible father, again. Gary Lucy looks rough and terrible. Cindy tries to make Luke pick her over his son. Again. The McQueens are unassailable in their awfulness.

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Scary Books

Swamp Thing 1x04&1x05 Reviewed

Darkness On The Edge Of Town

Things are deeply concerning. What caused Maria's intense antipathy toward Abby? There is habitual brutality in Marais. There are damning truths, inevitable trauma, disturbing revealtions and ferocious cruelty – all hinted at for now.

Maria's moral superiority and maltreatment of Abby and ongoing outright hostility annoy. A zombie attacks. Swamp Thing lurks. Things are unsettling. Abby and the Sutherlands have personal and shared history which isn't dwelt on for now. This show is so very green. I don't think Abby and the Sutherlands will be reconciling anytime soon. Is the green flu still raging? Liz works in a bar as well as being a reporter? A guy trips.

Avery has sinister purposes. Abby does not work but looks for Alec. Angry molesting vines lurk. There is mumbling. This show's reception was not adulatory. Nothing in Avery betokens shame. There is massive societal failure in Marais.

Blue Devil lurks in the hospital, there are no masks worn. The irritating kid lurks. Avery plans a crawfish boil. Maria bitches and is deliberately divisive. This was not resonant. The CDC are leaving. Avery has a high profile reputation in town. The sheriff lurks, staring. People hallcinate. Avery and Maria live in that big house alone. Blue Devil made a bargain. Avery buys the irritating kid for Maria. This was average and deeply frustrating.

Best Lines:

“Swamp eyes.”

“There's danger here.”

“Last 10 million years of biology.”


“Until called upon.”

“Called to a destiny.”

“Why would I give a damn about the rest of the world?”

“Swamp took my old man. The hard years after.”

“Ugly memories.”

“Died afraid.”

“Something terrible is coming.”

“Darkness was never meant to leave him.”

“Tell me how any of this makes sense.”

“The destiny of this entire town and everyone in it.”

Drive All Night

No stark reality. Marais has a grim legacy. There is no basic decency. This was aggravating. Avery boffs the sheriff. Maria freaks. Blue Devil has issues. Who is Matt's dad? Swamp Thing has issues. Avery meances a poor turtle and Liz's dad. There is bad acting.

Swamp Thing babbles about trees and the green. Some rando shows up and vanishes without explanation. Maria's bitchy dead daughter lurks. Susie is possessed by Shawna. Susie is still an irritating kid. Abby can't use a stethoscope. Shawna's mean and pukes up a snake. Maria hates Abby. Maria's crazy. Abby's hair blows in the breeze. There is lack of authenticity.

Is Matt a bad un? There is no validity to this. The sheriff murders someone. This was not satisfyingly ambiguous. Abby's mother knew the fortune teller? What about Abby's dad? Shawna and Abby are old friends who have nothing in common but the past. Shawna is refered to as a bad girl. Why was Alec murdered? Maria tries to murder Abby. This is sub-par 'Days Of Our Lives' stuff.

Dirty swamp water is ignored. There is incoherence. What happened to the green flu? Swamp Thing saves Maria. Why? Gibberish words are uttered. Why were Abby and Shawna driving around at 5:30? Why did Abby push Shawna off a bridge? What killed Shawna? Where's Liz's girlfriend? Blue Devil is in peril. This is not oddly enjoyable.

Best Lines:

“Get my life back on track.”

“Piece of bar trash.”

“That time is past.”

“There's danger here.”


“I'm sorry I killed Shawna!”

“Be bad.”

“Our nicknames! Our song!”

“Been breaking some laws?”

“Darkness has twisted her spirit.”

“Of I was any good at law breaking, would I be eating rat?”

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To Light The Way To Bed

Movie Reviews: The Vanished + American Animals + Nightbreed

The Vanished (2020)

Peter Facinelli directs Anne Heche, Jason Patric and Thomas Jane in this. There is a pretentious opening quote. A family (Heche and Jane) RV to a lake. Their daughter vanishes. There is sap and this was appalling and disappointing. Patric is fat, beardy and mumbling. This was not accomplished. This was rueful. There is a growing sense of inevitability. There is no ferocious desire.

This is a mad scenario. This was deeply unlikely. There is a rapid deterioration in interest. This was unbearable and very bad and weirdy. This was just nonsense. There is anger and frustration. There is anxiety and uncertainty. There is negative judgment. This leaves one irked. There is fear and constant worry and people are increasingly disaffected. There is vexation and fretfulness. The couple give vent. This was unmeasured and not fiendishly concocted.

The couple have a confused and obsessive fixation. This was not disquieting. This was terrible and not remarkable. There is a shocking, devastating effect. This was frustrating and has hopelessness. Things get fractious in this abysmal and lifeless film. A number of serious questions are raised. The mother is bitchy. Lies are told.

There is reckless gun usage. There is no deep sense of shame. There is no respect or dignity. There is no compassion, empathy or support or understanding. More people die. Upset, hurt and sorrow are ignored.

There are no expectations. The couple have attacked and killed people without anyone noticing. A dog is ignored and then dead. The parents are awful. This was cringe making with awful dialogue. The situation is evolving. There are enormous difficulties. There are no meaningful discussions. There is dire acting in this disconnected and incoherent film. This was not oddly compelling. The director is more concerned with landscape than character or plot development.

This was unbelievably stupid. There is a twist, an obvious one. This woefully failed. There is nothing original about this. There is idiocy and a child savagely adored. There is nothing tantalisingly open to conjecture here.

Best Lines:

“Saw that creepy kid Justin doing drugs.”

“Acting strange, stranger than usual.”

“We can't ask them now.”

“Shared delusional episodes.”

“Folie a deux.”

American Animals (2018)

Gross frat boys are gross. There is a fictionalized take on a robbery while the real perps and their families are interviewed between scenes. Blake Jenner and Evan Peters and Ann Dowd star. The frat boys are so dumb they don't know what a fence is. They carry out the ttheft, ineptly and make their getaway, ineptly. They try to sell their loot, ineptly. This was okay.

Best Line:

“Needs to become a non factor.”

Nightbreed (1990)

A Clive Barker movie starring no-names and David Cronenberg and Doug Bradley. A man is told by his shrink he's a killer. Monsters are real. The acting is laughable. There are 3 different cuts of this film. There is incoherence. This is full of awful people. This is 💩💩💩.

Best Line:

“What's below, remains below.”

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