January 8th, 2021


Movie Reviews: WarGames + Pieces Of A Woman + Tag

WarGames (1983)

A hacker nearly causes WW3. Tiresome.

Best Line:

“How can anybody get a D in Home Ec?”

Piece Of A Woman (2020)

A woman feels diminished by failure. There is a long awaited delivery, a future shattered and she is unmoored by loss. Vanessa Kirby, Shia La Beouf and Ellen Burstyn star. There is public reaction and this was not enormously significant. This was self indulgent. Shia and his serious actor beard swears. The labour goes wrong and this causes irritation. Characters are troglodytes and she derides everything. There is no logic.

People are insecure and low expectations weren't met. This tries to be grave and there is derison and this tries to be deeply personal but isn't gripping. They're deflated and riven by division, there is a witch hunt against the midwife. This causes impatience. This was a non event and is way too try hard. People are unwavering. Shia snorts something off a desk. Interest is curtailed. People grow increasingly unhappy with the way she behaves. She causes aggravation and more aggravation. One is aghast at this nonsence.

There is no clarity and she's stridently annoying. This was not dark and difficult. This was negligible. This was full on Oscar bait. Issues are weaponised. Burstyn does a monologue that puts Kirby's overacting to shame. This was appalling and not coherent or thoughtful. People look for scapegoats and this was not painful. There is court and yelling and disgraceful behaviour. There are invented narratives and resolve and canards and this was of no benefit. There are assertions and implications.

Best Lines:

“Piling mistake upon mistake.”

“Don't you want someone to answer?”

“Pay for her incompetence.”

Tag (2018)

Jon Hamm and Jeremy Renner and their mates play tag. This is a true story. For 30 years they've played tag. This film has a downward spiral. They attack each other like baddies in a slasher film. These are grown ass men who act like children. There are no lofty expectations as grown ass men engage in reckless actions. These allged friends are acrimonious. They all live in different cities and they're not sweet souls. A reporter witnesses their latest game. Women are not assertive.

There is pot smoking and the man babies seem to have no families. This was absurd and one can't even be borderline enthusiastic. The game seems like wilful cruelty and the tagging scenes are filmed like Marvel fight scenes. Renner broke both arms filming this.

Has Renner done something to his face? There is recklessness and irrelevance. This was cringe worthy and a complete and total and inept catastrophe. These man babies have no decorum. They played tag at a funeral! They have an inability to be normal. This was illogical and unpalatable. They fight in a mall and at an AA meeting and at a wedding! There is appalling antagonism and deranged actions and this was dementedly incompetent. They've self delusion.

This was not affecting. This was terrible and they're weirdly excited to play. Western culture has just given up. There are no interesting character arcs and this was very, very below average. This was pointless and some of the stuff in this movie actually happened and it was really written up in The Wall Street Journal. Leslie Bibb and Isla Fisher were in this as WAGS.

Best Lines:

“Insane even for him.”

“Goes feral.”

“Mad confusing.”

“To live in the past is to die in the present.”

“Reason to be in each other's lives.”

“Time is a construct.”

“Live in shame.”

“What kind of bitch drinks Hazelnut?”

“Typical wood stuff.”

“Own arrogant thoughts.”

“Maybe we're bad people.”

“Our friend is a psychopath and this is scary.”

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Power Rangers Issue 2 + Tales From The Dark Multiverse: Crisis On Infinite Earths Reviewed

Power Rangers Issue 2

Jason the unrepentent thug and traitor has no decency. He's needlessly aggressive and spews his dubious opinions. His actions have had a very negative impact, casued significant anger and impasse and their dire situation has a severe escalation. Jason's actions have no objective or rational basis.

This was ridiculous and Drakkon is even more of a dull homicidal maniac. Jason won't apologise or admit he's wrong. How do they have a spaceship? Zack and Trini are fools. There are incoherent fight scenes and Trini has a big hammer. Jason's idiocy has led to disaster. Drakkon's in a bad way.

Best Lines:

“Turned into intergalactic outlaws.”

“Your leadership took us to Earth for guidance. Instead, Zordon is now calling in every favour he has to track us down.”

“We don't know what's waiting for us out there.”

“Bunch of space vampires.”

“We are the Horrid. And we are hungry.”

“Your spirit tastes of sorrow. But your will...delicious.”

Tales From The Dark Multiverse: Crisis On Infinite Earths

I've no idea who these heroes are and the art is ugly but this was good. Who are the Justice Society Of America? WTF is the cosmic treadmill? Who's Surtur? He's some demon with a genocidal cause and old heroes in dated costumes show up to fight him. Who are the All-Star Squadron? There is an apperance by The Spectre and who is the Green Lantern?

The Spectre looms. Robin dies in undignified fashion. There is a Kara Zor-L who is Power Girl. Who are Nuklon and Dyna-mite and TNT? Kara Zor-L and Huntress wear bathing suits. Wonder woman does a suicide attack and a dog howls plaintively. Uncle Sam dies and Washington DC is in flames, oh the irony.

Starman talks about his cosmic rod, okay then. There were 3 flashes: Barry, Wally and Garrick. Steve Trevor and Wonder Woman had a daughter: Hippolyta Trevor. A dude in a bow tie who looks like a sex offender has magic and is a kid sidekick all grown up. An aged Superman broods. This tries to be of monumental historical significance. The Sandman lurks and this tries for moody intensity. What is a keystone salute? Starman and Flash are geriatrics and Aquaman broods and the Green Lantern is called Alan and he chats to someone called Todd/Obsidian.

Surtur wants ragnarok, a terrible deal is struck and there is a dread lantern. There is inevitable futility and absolute anguish. I never heard of the Green Lantern named Alan. There is a vindictive demon and the Earth has a future, at a cost. There is no total intensity or desperate tension and this was nostalgia fuel. fuel.

Best Lines:

“Hell is what I bring you!”

“Doomed Earths.”

“A Green Lantern gone foul. A father forever in atonement. A light that once served justice forever serving death.”

“Can the true cost even be reckoned?”

“Unholy oath.”

“Damning words...”

“Finding a void where once his home had waited.”


“Battled to their last...”

“Spoke big.”

“Destruction is my sole function.”

“Avenge their fate!”

“Die stupid.”

“We will never stop fighting people like you.”

“Rally them, inspire them, win this...save tomorrow, like you always do.”

“The greatest enemy we ever faced.”

“What happened to the man of tomorrow?”

“What good's the JSA mascot against a demon like Surtur?”

“Spawn from the very ash of Surtur's foot-steps!”

“We're damn good at putting genocidal maniacs in their place.”

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Kylo Ren

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Hollyoaks' promo

James and Ste?!? George Kiss is crap. Maxine's mother shows up. Warren growls and George gives JP a slap. Sid is in peril.

Best Line:

“I don't like when other girls play with my things.”

'Blithe Spirit' promo


'The Investigation' promo

A true story.

Zero sugar cherry coca-cola – okay.

Rose Turkish delight – okay.

Still no reconciliation with my ex. My ex did abandonment and is treacherous. Did my ex intend unhappiness?

Read 'Prodigal Son' season 2 info – no.

'BBC News' Quotes:

“Chaplin is praying.”

“Democracy's enemies.”

“Lines even he cannot cross.”

“Highlight the inadequacy.”

“Endless retreating.”

'Sky News' Quote:

“Pofoundly shaming.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Last-minute entry of an interloper.”

“Marooned in a ditch.”

“The most deadly pestilence since The Black Death...”

“Harmful or defamatory content.”

“Ethical decision making.”

“Saintly brand image.”

“Dangerous complacency-”

“Uniquely threatening events.”

“Imposed ostracism and siege.”

“Give her a proper identity of her own.”

“Designated safe zone.”

“Freedon comes with a duty of care and an obligation of personal responsibility.”

“Consequnces of those decisions.”

“Refused to capitulate.”

“Sitting outside with the cameraman. In a blizzard.”

'Tiny Pretty Things' Quotes:

“The past is a trap.”

“Getting busy in the bushes.”

“That's your excuse? It was France?”

“As long as that dick of yours.”

“I was with Oren!”

“You're now the 3rd person to saying so.”

“Thinking and doing.”

“Went psycho on me.”

“Filthy indenency.”

'Lucy Worsley's Royal Palace Secrets' Quotes:

“Feed on warm things.”

“Tudor plumming.”

“Wretched ravens.”

“Stretches back 10 centuries.”

“Crowned in his place.”

“As often as he changed his wives.”

“Few traces of Henry's 1st wife.”

'Under The Yoke' Quotes:

“Speaking to a memory.”

“Long changelessness.”

“Hoping there would be no prisoners.”

“They have to fear us, but that isn't enough.”

“No rescue, no reprieve.”

“Every generation thinks its own youth was a period like no other; mine had the misfortune to be right.”

“I was born into the pinnacle of western civilization, and I have lived to see it fall – by its own folly.”

“They are an abominable people.”

'Mother Love' Quote:

“Crowds of common people.”

'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“You ain't going a damn place.”

“Life decision.”

'Waking The Dead' Quote:

“Innocence costs money.”

On 'Hollyoaks': Mercedes disowns Theresa and is a hypocrite. The whole Silas plot was an unmitigated disaster. James and ste flirted – eewww. JP cheated on James with Ste! Why is the appeal of Ste the racist/yobbo? Goerge Kiss gave JP the fakest slap, ever. He had it coming.

Scary Books

The Terror (2018-?) 1x01&1x02+A Teacher 1x07-1x10+Emerald City 1x06&1x07 Reviewed

Go For Broke

Jared Harris, Ciaran Hines and Tobias Menzies feature in this period drama. In 1845 – ships set off and were last been in Baffin Bay. Then they vanished. All that is left of them is buttons. There is ice and cold and the ship's crew grow fearful for their future. There are sideburns and this has self-satisfied literariness. People have no infinite caution.

Men have sneering impatience. They think they are failure proof. This is not a defining epoch. There is a ship's dog. There are no beards. There are accents and fancy china and old fashioned hairstyles. Who are these people? A man coughs up blood. There are interesting opening credits and Ian Hart is in this. Ugh. Greta Scaachi features in flashbacks.

This was based on a Dan Simmons novel. The blood cougher has TB. This was produced by Ridley Scott. We need names! Names! Names! One of the 2 ships is called The Terror. A man falls off the crow's nest.

The ship's log is seen. Franklin (Hinds) was the subject of stage plays. Franklin looks like a bog body. Where is the chaplin? A surgeon pokes at the TB victim. Who is Sir John? The TB patient is suddenly dying. Men sleep in hammocks. The TB patient sees an ugly naked guy. Officers are uncaring and there is pack ice. How do they climb the ropes without falling? A diver is sent down to remove ice from the propeller.

Are people wearing wigs? There is a ship's monkey. There is ice damage to the propeller. The flagship's efficency has been compromised. Ice increases in thickness and amount. Francis Crozier (Harris) wants to be safe and over-winter. Franklin doesn't listen to him. Franklin is a terrible friend. Were atoms known in 1845? There are 4 arctic veterans on the expedition. There is a snide jerk and hubris. Franklin goes on about glory and destiny.

The crew have to use pick axes and grenades as ice breakers. It does not work. The ships are becalmed in ice. What are ice anchors? The compass isn't working. Where's the cold breath?

Best Lines:

“I don't know what the hell he's describing.”

“Tell those who come after us.”

“Shot the marksman off the walls.”

“An ice report.”

“Would that he were here with us now.”

“Officer's country.”

“Putting a dog above a man.”

“Technology still bends the knee to luck.”

“Nothing worse than a man who's lost his joy.”

“Should be better friends to him.”

“Despises glory.”

“Praise your loyalty as he buries you.”

“Interesting speculation.”

“No question is needed.”

“It wants us to run!”

“He will ask.”

“Something transpired.”

“Pilgrim to the deeps.”

“Long wanted to move below.”

“We may not have weeks.”

“This place wants us dead.”

“God and winter will find us in safe water.”

“You know what men are like when they are desperate.”

“Earn our loved one's cheers.”

“An adventure for queen and country.”


It is 1847 and they've been trapped in the ice for 8 months. How do they have food and water? There is a cold looking ship's cat. The ship has a engine? There is still no cold breath. There are kegs of something on the ship. The sails have been raised. They have to drag a boat across the ice. There is so much ice. They're screwed.

Greta Scacchi shows up in flashbacks. There is a cairn on the ice. It's been there for 70 years. Were 2 men at it on a ship? There are ships cats on board? Plural? Poor things. The boat sled was attacked. A pipe is smoked. Provisions have rotted. How do they have water? Franklin was a jerk and wouldn't let his niece marry Crozier – presumably because he is Irish. There is talk of poor reindeer. People worry about the ice crushing the boats.

There is a storm and massive hail. It is fairly obvious that this is filmed on a set. Inuits are encountered. As is a bear thing. A dog poos and the dog is called Neptune. Crozier has a toilet in his cabin. There is another Irish crewman. Crozier is from Dundalk. A doctor will not help the surgeon with the injured Inuit. The surgeon is looked down on. Crozier can speak the Inuit language? The Inuits are father and daughter. Why didn't they ask the Inuits for help?

The Inuits are sensibly dressed for the cold. There is screaming and yelling. Franklin is not friendly. There is no thaw. A truly awful man stirs the pot. The Inuit man had no tongue. Franklin says the Inuit are not their concern. There are racist jackasses and moonlight and relentless brutality. This was dull. There are dark purposes and they're in a sorry situation and this was ponderous. Crozier is discontented.

Best Lines:

“You never lost my friendship.”

“Disaster knocking at its doors.”

“I brood not that I judge.”

“Serve at your command.”

“Hard to imagine anyone coming here, ever.”

“Man afraid of chaos.”

“He's a disappointed man.”

“Bear his grievances.”

“No-one's first choice.”

“Not our brightest star to follow.”

“Made of hope.”

“He proposed. Again.”

“Shoot it in the head. Carve it up for supper!”

“Statement of gratitude.”

“Tally your value.”

“Captain of a great ship.”

“Take your boats away.”

A Teacher 1x07-1x10

Eric is in a frat, smoking pot and friends with losers. Tragedy and bitterness and mumbling are this life. Eric has been cheated of destiny and deprived of glory. Claire went to jail. There is cynical cruelty and this was dreadful. Eric's calamitous mother is no help. This was dreary and gimcrack and dismalness. One feels sick disgust. Claire is contemptible. She's up to pettiness, deceit and sneaking around. There is deliberate cruelty and this was an unmitigated disaster. This was so boring and unoriginal. Claire is useless and appalling and gets out of jail and this was preposterous. Claire is blase about the shocking events she set in motion. This was not off the charts dramatic. Claire is not terribly appealing or remorseful. Claire goes on Tindr dates. Matt is angry at Claire. Years pass and Claire gets a new hubby and 2 kids. Eric tells Claire off.

Best Lines:

“Hording pee.”

“I don't know how I ever loved you.”

“Teacher slut.”

“The damage that you've done?!?”

Beautiful Wickedness

The Wizard is a fake. Lucas is in peril and there is no subtle, restrained acting. Jack and Tip reunite. The Wizard took the city from its king. Glinda has secrets. War is coming. Lucas has secrets. I don't care.

They Came First

The Wizard is a fascist. Ev whines. DG is moronic. Unimaginative. Lucas gets his memories back.

Best Lines:

“People are scared.”


“He wasn't my loss.”

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