December 7th, 2020

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: U-Turn + Stir Of Echoes + Stage Mother + Peter Rabbit

U-Turn (2020)

This Filipino horror is subtitled and not good.

Stir Of Echoes (1999)

Kevin Bacon is hypnotised and sees a ghost. This is insanely bizarre as transparently malicious types lurk. This was tired and smug and full of sadwoe and yelling and bad acting. This was ill-conceived and wonky.

Best Lines:

“Monster tape.”

“This was a decent neighbourhood!”

Stage Mother (2020)

A church choir director is discomfited and discommoded when she inherits a drag bar from her dead son who ODed on stage. She eventually responds positively to Pandora's Box. There is asperity. She has a grave and clear obligation to help the hostile. There is bad acting and this was beyond underwhelming. Her husband is awful and this has no searing honesty. There is duplicity and this was not a reputable business. The son was not sexually virtuous in his father's eyes. This was a fiasco and a farce and the funeral is indefensibly tacky.

Best Lines:

“You're straight? So is spaghetti until you get it hot and wet!”

“Neither amazing nor graceful.”

“You can't punish him anymore.”

“Moved on from us years ago, by his own choice!”

Peter Rabbit (2018)

Mr McGregor wants Peter Rabbit gone from his veggie garden. James Corden voices Peter and ruins everything. The books are beloved. This is not. Rose Byrne, Sam Neill and 2 'Star Wars' actors feature. This is poo and truly vile.

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Sergio Balleseros

Book Reviews: Power Rangers Volume Thirteen: Necessary Evil + The Cousins

Power Rangers Volume Thirteen: Necessary Evil

The Rangers and all new Omega rangers take on Dayne, Kiya and the Anointed. Kiya is a corrupt ranger and inherently evil. There are less than ideal circumstances and Kiya is difficult to engage with on a social level. There is a doorway, Grace, incoherent fights and Rangers have jetting ability.

Tommy is sick of Jason's arrogance and lies. Jason justifies what he did. The teens are extremely good at violence. Kiya wants control and domination and reprisals and is vengeful. This does not innovate. Jason has a tone that implies he's inherently good. Like Kiya, he turns himself into a victim. Kiya is in denial of her own cruelty. The Ranger Slayer shows up. How are the rangers breathing in space?

The rangers have to save ungrateful idiots. Zedd shows up again, sigh. If Kiya is no longer connected to the morphing grid, how can she morph? This was okay, even if Drakkon's back.

Best Lines:

“Mighty gods, forgive me for my actions.”

“Knocked me around.”

“Crazy lethal flying alien.”

“All I offer is the mercy that was never given me.”

“Now I now technically you're supposed to be one of the good Tommy's,'s only a matter of time until you're not.”

“You're got the whole power hungry egomaniacal warlord thing down.”

“This is extraordinarly bad.”

“I was hoping I'd get a crack at you, pony tail.”

“Time to fall, rangers.”

“Let me guess, this is where you give me one last chance to stop all this insanity. Maybe offer to help me because......we're freinds and that's what friends do for one another. Does that sound about right?”

“Nope......I'm done with all that.”

“I can't keep running from what I've done......or from who I was any longer.”

“I was expecting that to be way more dramatic.”

Tommy Oliver/2016 comic | RangerWiki | Fandom
The Cousins by Karen M. McManus

From the author of 'One Of Us Is Lying' and 'Two Can Keep A Secret' comes this tale of a family that never had a redeeming quality to speak of. The Story family are rich and envied on Gull Cove Island until the matriach cut her 4 children off. 24 years later cousins Aubrey, Milly and Jonah Stlory are invited to Gull Cove Island. There they look into the enigma of their parents disinheritance/disowning and the mystery of their grandmother. This was good.

Best Lines:

“Vomited into my toychest.”

“Confrontation. Not my thing.”

“Sworn enemy for life.”

“Freeze someone out for disappointing her.”

“What had she ever done, except like him?”

“No consequences for some people, ever.”

“No one cared enough to ask why.”

“Refuses to get a job.”

“If there's one thing, my father has an unshakeable belief in, it's himself as a misunderstood genius.”

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Joker/Harley: Criminal Sanity Issue 6 + Mighty Morphin Issue 1 Reviewed

Joker/Harley: Criminal Sanity Issue 6

Joker is obsessed with Harley. Her unloving mother has died. Where is Batman? The Joker murders people. The Joker gets arrested. This was creepy and it has a cliffhanger. This was short but good.

Best Lines:

“Doubt you care,”

“What's that awful smell?”

“Let me guess. They found someone near a park bench with a hacksaw?”

“I'm not a profiler, but the guy's appearance definitely doesn't conform to social norms.”

“Unless he's out of the cuffs.”

Mighty Morphin Issue 1

We see Zordon and there is a new Green Ranger as the green power coin has been stolen. Where did this new ranger come from? How did they get the power? It better not be Matt. The teens hang out at the Angel Grove Youth Center. What's a chaos crystal? Tommy doesn't like Matt. Skull has a girlfriend. There is plotting. Bulk and Skull have issues. Does Billy have secrets? The new green ranger isn't friendly. Why does the panda monster want the green ranger? The new green ranger has new powers and poses and is a dick. Don't let it be Matt. The new green ranger wields Tommy's dragon dagger. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“An invader's promise means nothing.”

“Take your slave army back to where they come from.”

“Your actions violate all interstellar laws and--”

“Then I shall destroy you and rewrite your laws. Right and wrong are mometary, chosen only by those who wield true power.”

“A music festival in a city known for creatures falling out of the sky?”

“You do have a slightly different history with green rangers. No offense, Tommy.”

“Pandas are far too adoreable to be deadly.”

“I told you to give it an axe.”

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Trailers, Quotes & 1 Tape Tale

'Selena: The Series' promo

Her family don't stop.

'Clown' promo

Ideal Christmas day viewing: a clown invades someone's house.

'A Discovery Of Witches' series 2 promo

Time travel, immortality, Liz I and Matthew Goode.

Best Line:

“Dark times are coming.”

'The Dig' trailer

Ralph Fiennes digs up mounds as WW2 is coming. Maybe.

'The Mauritanian' trailer

What is Benedict Cumberbatch's accent? There are wigs and this is a true story. A lot of case files are seen.

Best Line:

“Lunges for you.”

'Star Trek Discovery' 3x09 promo


'Songbird' trailer

A covid movie? Quarntine camps, suss.

'Fatale' trailer

Hilary Swank is nuts.

White chocolate peanut M&M's – nice.

San Pellegrino Grapefuit – sour.

Vegan peanut butter doughnut – nice.

Vegan dark chocolate almond nougat crisp chocolate – yum.

Nettle and chive cheese – ok.

I won't review 'Charmed' 2x08 'The Rules Of Engagement', or 2x09 'Guess Who's Coming To SafeSpace Seattle' or 2x10 'Curse Words'.

Who saw 'Johnny Mnemonic'?

Who recalls 'Reader's Digest'?

Cleared out 1 tape. 📼

My ex doesn't think about me at all. I feel resentment and anxiety. Was it all a lie with my ex? My ex has consistently failed in his moral duty to apologise. My ex's actions lead to hugely challenging emotions. My ex = extremely unlikable. Why did my relationship have a downbeat conclusion? He has not quietly honourable. My ex has cruel indifference and is woefully absent. I'm an afterthought to my ex. My ex made an unbearable choice. My played for a future without me. I am no one to him. One feels poignant melancholy. My ex did sinister machinations. My ex never explained why relations soured. I've long-harboured resentment and an unapologetic penchant for revenge. My ex gave me false reassurance.

I'd try cherry sorbet and a melting middle chocolate & orange pudding and Lincolnshire poacher and Kirkham's lancashire cheese and salted dark chocolate leaves and dark choc orange slices.

I want an art deco sapphire line braclet. I want a gold, enamelled and amethyst pendant. I want a diamond set star brooch and an art deco platinum and diamond braclet. I want a tiger's eye pendant and a platinum and diamond set bow brooch.

Quality Street have shrunk!

'Crock Of Gold' looks weird. 'County Lines' looks interesting. 'Host' looks naff and 'Happiest Season' looks iffy.

'Arrow' was enormous fun to watch until it wasn't. I disliked Laurel and her verbal compost and petty aggravation.

'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Cyclone prone island.”

“A critcal moment, yes another one.”

“Unspeakably bad year.”

“Firmly in the bin.”

“Socially-distant echo.”

'Virgin Media News' Quote:

“Prepare to leave order.”

'Sky News' Quotes:



'BBC News' Quotes:

“Rare moment of unity.”

“Of animal origin.”

“The mum test.”

'RTE News' Quotes:

“Truck parks.”

“Those plans are no more.”

“Farage garage.”

“On greatest need.”

'Alien Worlds' Quotes:

“Threat of death.”

“Lost their fear instinct.”

“Dead predators.”

“Nothing grows in the dark forest.”

“Any form of civilization.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“A seal that is to be broken only for self-rescue or rescuing other sailor.”

“Abandoned as an embarrassment to the family.”

“Hobo rags.”

“Built to withstand a catastrophic attack or invasion.”

“Scum of Europe.”

“Noble, tragic history.”

“Amazed by the sympathy and money that poured in.”

“Fulfilled its intended purpose as a fire barrier.”

“Spirited away to safety.”

“Where French kings prayed.”

“Cantankerous but endearing.”

“Thermal shock.”

“Stained glass windows dating back as far as 1250.”

“Something gone awry in the universe,”

“Joyous individualism.”

“The beginning of the great plague!”

“The history of the world is tragic.”

“Friendly and enemy modes of action.”

“Press people.”

“Give her back to the world.”

“Prophetically described.”

“Battle of the belfry.”

“Date back to the early 15th century.”

“Skills have been handed down since the 12th century.”

“Prepetrators of this nonsense.”

“Life-defining change.”

“Daring us to confront her about it.”

“Things didn't go too well for the family (or for anyone else).”

“It's long aftermath.”

“Bored contempt.”

“A terrible human helplessness in the face of a volatile world.”

“Prisoner of his angry.”


“That's how your life becomes a set thing, written...unchangeable.”



“Major social breakdown.”

“Unshakeable national narrative.”

“Perceived complicity.”

“Maniacal zealots.”

“One of the last living member of a group never meant to survive.”

“A country you wish existed.”

“Nobody is helping us.”

“Impact conversation negatively.”

“Escalating row.”

“She asked a Jesuit priest whether it was libel, detraction or scandal to be spreading news that was common knowledge in America but completely unknown over here. 'I'm not quite sure which it is,' he said, 'but it's very interesting, tell me more'.”

“Rails against punk fanzine Sniffin' Glue for being as establishment as the Financial Times.”

“Too successful for sympathy.”

“Howl of a generation.”

“Whose relationship with their own class sours from peripheral membership to vicious resentment.”

'Sex, Lies And Murder' Quotes:

“You've seen Jerry Springer right?”

“Died under very odd cirumstances.”

'Murder Made Me Famous' Quotes:

“On the golf team.”

“Classic, self-loathing nutbag.”

“A socially acceptable pose.”

“Digital idiot.”

“Didn't react me in a way that would imply guilt.”

“Result in peril.”

'Back' Quotes:

“Weirdo little sh*t goblin!”

“Rescue son.”

“Proper son.”

“Asthma causing piss and voit machine.”

“Jesus time people.”

“Burning in the firey pit of hell.”

“His remains are rotting in a long wicker box.”

“20 grand lawsuit.”

“Hobbit world.”

“Serial diddling.”

“Less of a backwater.”

“Shouldn't be scared of sexy people.”

“Gravy granule bastards.”


“Some of these countries don't exist anymore.”

“Small town hick.”

“Than Blair got elected.”

“Semi lawless new normal.”

“You change personnel at your peril. Look at 'Spooks'!”

'FTWeekend' Quotes:

“Silence is consent.”

“Weren't even really my friends.”

'Little Threats' Quotes:

“He'd seen that love- bright and pure- and turned away from it."

“The works of Charlotte Bronte should not, cannot be entered into this trial's evidence.”

“Forever ago.”

“You weren't supposed to happen.”

“How hard had she tried to make him love her?”

“No idea what had been set in motion.”

“Some houses are empty for a reason,”

'The Sunday Business Post' Quotes:

“Quickly learned not to provoke his anger.”

“Decline in no uncertain terms.”

'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“That does provoke animosity.”

“Retreat from society.”

“H&M is for poor people.”

“Not joiners.”

“Engaged in a bitter dispute ever since.”

“Appeal may have waned.”

“Organised jollity.”

“Whose long-term consequences are unknowable.”

“Broods on slights for months, sometimes years.”

“Plenty of wrongs to remember.”

“Damning expose.”

“Whether she intended for all of this to happen, or whether it got terribly out of hand.”

“Family ties you to someone detestable?”

“Steeped in suburban grubbiness and male desperation.”

“Moral advocacy.”

“Monstrous torments.”

“National self-pity.”

“Often downright malevolence.”

“Have always loathed the “problem wife”.”

#kittens from The Cutest of the Cute#aww from c a t s o n l y🐈

Illya K

Selena The Series (2020) 1x01-1x03+Spooks 7x08+Discovery 3x08+DS9 3x01+Supergirl 1x16 Reviewed


The story of the Mexican-American icon of Tejano music. The Quintanilla family don't stop. The movie already told of her predictably complicated and protracted road to the top and her tragic end. Her father is awful and he had absolute control over this tv series. Her father has complete control of this and her legacy and he is still ghastly.

The father is an appalling stage parent who was in a failed band himself. This cannot be accused of rushing. The family are bigged up. This continually disappoints. The father is so controlling. There are happenings that may or may not be imagined. This seeks to be broadly portray contemporary events or versions of them. This is not alluring soap opera.

They start at the bottom. This takes serious liberties. It is like a cartoon. They have a restarant. Reality is hijacked as propaganda. The father comes across in the worst possible light. The restarant closes. Is this even broadly representative of reality? There is no complexity or nuance. Is this crude and inaccurate? Does this forsake accuracy? This does forsake truth?

The father has coercive behaviour. He makes his kids use food stamps. He is emotionally difficult and Selena was era-defining. The kids don't seem to go to school. The family unfairly maligned her husband and don't use her married name. This series is an endurance event. One is unlikely to be impressed. They had to move and live in a barn and one room. The sadness of their situation is glossed over. There is not a great deal to admire in this.

This was not sumptuous or lush or irresistible and this was not especially delightful. There are social tussles and the father has deviousness. This was hooey. This was not luxuriant. This has no relevance. This may be counterfactual nonsense. This has not meta-textual clout. This was not wildly successful. This was not imperious. The dad is giddily unhinged. This was bland and distanced with no foreboding.

This was whimsical meanderings. The father is potentially hostile and he looms malevolently and revolting, spewing bile. He has zero introspection. There is no outsider culture. The father has wild distain and there is no deft storytelling. The father fancies himself a custodian of her memory. Selena can't speak Spanish. He changes the band's sound.

Best Lines:

“Girls don't play drums.”

“We can do different.”

“Replaced by a record player.”

“I was in the army. What have you done?”

“We don't even listen to those stations.”

“My family on food stamps! If I wasn't embarassed, there'd be something wrong with me.”

Dame Un Beso

They have bad perms and glitter shirts now. The father, Abraham, wants to make a record. Abraham takes their money and says if they don't play they don't eat. This was not potent. There is pique and this leaves one aggrieved. They tour deindustrialised towns. There is a sense of grievances and this exhausts its usefulness. There are frustrated ambitions and narcissim and class rigidities. Fame had perverse consequences for her. Resentment is stored up.

There are irreconcilable interests. They're not in the prestige league. Selena misses school. So her father de-enrols her. Abraham has all-encompassing control over her in life and death. This causes frustration. He treats his family appallingly. There is a lack of contrition. There is no impact and the bass playing brother writes a song. There is negative impact and this does not prove consequential. The hair is so 80s. There is no efficacy. Abraham detrimentally impacted the family. They get on the radio.

Best Lines:

“This is the road that we picked son, no exit now.”

“There are laws!”

“What's Hands Across America?”

“This is not The Rolling Stones.”

“To him that's what we are.”

“We keep playing weddings.”

“Women and drinking and fighting.”

“Lots of bands have 1 hit.”

“She can read! She can do math!”

“Don't tell me how to raise my daughter!”

“I decide what is best for my daughter!”

“Nothing's going our way.”

“Give up everything for the bad.”

“And The Winner Is...”

Selena is nominated for an award. Selena learnt Spanish from tapes and Mexican soap opera. The mother cooks. Good and bad things befall them. The sister doubts her drumming talent. The mother sews their clothes. Selena goes to an award show.

Best Lines:

“This is me enjoying it!”

“Gonna need bigger amps.”

“I don't want to sound like a tourist.”

“Business of rejection and disappointment.”

Nuclear Strike

Harry walked off hard interrogation. A sleeper agent awakens. The Russians had their own version of Sugarhorse – only bigger and better. I guess Lucas' double agent status is gone. Ros mumbles and a kill squad hunt Harry, Lucas, Ros and Connie. As for Connie, she sneers. A number station is listened to. Portable nuclear bombs are mentioned. One is found, the rest are forgotten about. There is gunfire in a city street that nobody notices. Jo is useless. What is CO19? There is talk of Tiresias. Harry strangles a man with a tie in a tube station and no one notices. Lucas is shot and walks it off. All Lucas did for his country was gone thanks to series 9. Lucas nearly dies. Connie disarms a nuclear bomb and dies in the process. Connie admits she finked on Lucas and Harry is in peril. This was boring.

Best Lines:

“Waiting for us.”

“8 years in Russian hell.”

“Was it worth it?”

“I stayed loyal to my country.”

“I'll leave you to complete the implication.”

“Rain from heaven.”

“Go code.”

“Sod him.”

The Sanctuary

Book's homeworld is utter threat. The Emperor has brain dysfunction. There is talk of trance worms and the Emerald Chain has taken Book's homeworld. The Emerald Chain violates first contact by contacting pre-warp cultures. A female Orion annoys – the make up is so bad. There is bad acting. A nebula is the origin of The Burn. A signal is coming from the nebula: it is the music.

Saru decodes the nebula. The 'music' is a federation distress signal. Adira is non-binary. People wear what looks like dressing gowns and Book has a brother. Does Detmer still have issues? Adira is sos special. Paul lurks and plays the piano. The Andorian is thankless and ranting.

What protected area? Grudge lurks. Why isn't he let off Book's ship? What is redline? What is happening to the Emperor? Andorians were once enslaved? The smug mouthy Orion woman has 90s eyebrows and carpet bombs Book's homeworld. The Emperor is dying? Detmer takes Book's ship for a flyby. Grudge lurks. Andorians don't know what cats are?

Book beats people up with a stick and can see ships fighting in orbit. Who's flying Discovery when Detmer is elsewhere? The Orion makes threats. Andorians were scared of the UFP? The Emerald Chain have a secret. The Discovery uniform jacket has a blue undershirt underneath.

Best Lines:

“Personal physicans were buried with them when they died. It incentivised loyalty.”

“You don't scare me human.”

“Howling at your reflection in the mirror.”

“Sea locusts.”

“Ongoing matter.”

“Salvage planet.”

“Deal with me universe.”

“Awesome job you're doing.”

“So righteous.”

“Someone has to be.”

“Full diplomatic protocols.”

“Observational presence.”

“We don't bend to that kind of hubris.”

“We are your family.”

“Act like it.”

“This is how I learned to fly.”

“What's that noise it's making?”

The Search, part 1

The Defiant debuts. This ep is not ferociously powerful. Eddington debuts as does Dax's new hairstyle and T'Rul. The hairdo and T'Rul would vanish after 3x02 never to be mentioned again. Quark wears impossible tacky clothes. There is bad ADR. Why do all the senior officers go along on the trip to the Gamma Quadrant? The Defiant comes with a searchlight that illuminates the ship's name. This was padding that isn't especially profound. This had no chilling brilliance.

Best Lines:

“Battle fleet.”

“It was designed for one purpose only: to fight and defeat the Borg.”


Cat word vomits. Kara whines and goes evil. This was piss poor.

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