November 30th, 2020

Scary Books

Book Reviews: White Trash Warlock + One By One

White Trash Warlock by David R. Slayton

The 1st in the 'Adam Binder Novels'. Adam didn't go to a school of magic instead his jackass older brother Bobby dumped him in a loony bin for years. Bobby walked away to shed his poor background to be a middle class jerk. Adam endured and has magic and lives in the backwoods. But now Bobby needs his brother's help to save his ignored wife from a horrifying spirit. Bobby never apologises for anything and their mother treats Adam like he is something stuck to her shoe. Now Adam can use his magic for good, nobody ever says thank you. This was a good fantasy novel which involved magic, reapers, death, elves and a jerkass family.


Best Lines:

“It would be nice if Bobby could be less of a moron.”


“He couldn't have said no anyway. Bobby knew better than that.”


“Knew not to correct his father, especially not in public.”


“Existed only in fading memories.”


“Loitered near ruins and hoarded ancient things.”


“Dad had been angry a lot,”


“She likes her fancy words.”


“None of this is normal, Bobby Jack, not even for our family.”


“Backwoods magic and condemnation went hand in hand.”


“Hospitals are quite dull. Your televisison shows make it seem like it's all explosions and illicit sex in closets.”


“A watchtower has not fallen in centuries.”


~
One By One by Ruth Ware

From the author of 'The Lying Game', 'The Death Of Mrs Westaway' and 'The Turn Of The Key' comes this tale of a corporate retreat at a ski chalet. This was derivitive bilge that was an utterly improbable Agatha Christie ripoff. Heinous and gruesome realities are revealed in very sinister fashion. People show unpleasant aspects and are malicious and vindictive as they try to establish accountability. One doesn't care how the situation resolves itself.


Best Lines:

“Stealth vegans.”


“Pathologically greedy.”


“Even then, she dressed like some kind of sister-wife.”


“Glancing over their shoulders and scheming.”


“Used to them forgetting about me, taking me for granted, ignoring me.”


“Tired, charity-shop look.”


“It sounds annoyed.”


“Pour thirty-year old brandy down the sink, and pick melted camembert out of the dining-room rug.”


“The friends I don't have,”


“You have to want it a lot.”


“There's nothing they can ban you for.”


“People have a habit of pulling away from me.”


“School was so horrible.”


“You're the one who pulled off the Bear Grylls stuff.”

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Movie Reviews: Arkansas + Westworld + Poisonous Protege + Coriolanus 👎👎👎👎

Arkansas (2020)

Vince Vaughn, Liam Hemsworth, Vivica A. Fox and John Malkovich star. Hemsworth voiceovers and this was surreal but not in a good way. Rednecks have not got anything to look forward to. They have a really, really hard life of low level drug dealing. There are perceived tensions and no resilience.


There is loneliness, isolation and routine. There is impersonality and they get involved in something that's really dangerous. The fall for them is so much further. This was silly with no intelligent and instructed people. There are no great minds here just grief and misery. They are ignorant, self-indulgent dupes. This was idiotic and silly and it was full of social evils.


There is selfishness and stupidity and there was no dramatic presence. There is a classic reversal of perpetrator and victim. They are creatures of different worlds, there is time that is passing. This was soulless and people face uncertain fates and this was not relevant.


People are seething and this was darkly beautiful. Nobody is well intentioned. This was not pleasing and it's amazing what people take for normal. There are problems nobody foresaw. This was ill thought out. It is not only not right, it's not even wrong. This was pulpy. This was indifferently received. This was not unforgettable.


There are missed chances. This was spurious and it had no eloquent brilliance. People are ill fated and there are emotional outbursts and overblown rhetoric. There is precarity and an ideological no-man's land. There are negative impacts and no rigour or passion. There are dangerous or untrustworthy types and implications. There is chaos and confusion and it is a profoundly fretful time. There is a sad tracjectory though the purgatories in this banal film. There is comedy yelling and this was really terrible.


Best Lines:

“Someone who fights like you should have a weapon.”


“Deadbeats and scumbags.”


“Relying on other people is the fastest way to end up dead.”


“Something of a criminal mastermind.”


“Strong, silent type.”


“You may never refuse an order and you may never quit.”


“Do not socialise with the locals.”


“Inconsequential falsehoods.”


“My doings.”


“Who raised you son?”


“Do you like creepy?”


~
Westworld (1973)

This was written and directed by Michael Crichton. Delos is a resort offering robot simulations of the wild west, medieval Britian and ancient Rome. James Brolin and Richard Benjamin face off with Yul Brynner as a robot gunslinger. Brynner stares and wears his costume from the 1960 'Magnificent Seven'. The park is full of safety hazards and live ammuntion and real weapons. This was dated looking. The hair and facial hair alone is scary.


Lines are said with no conviction. There is slo-mo and shirtlessness and a robot snake. The gunslinger is cruelly petulant and this was absolutely awful. There is self delusion and the robots step outside the narrative. Emotionally stunted men tantrum and this is increasingly improbable. This was phenomenally nasty. This was bad shlock that was perfunctory and not bearable and it was the least interesting.


Best Lines:

“Nothing can go wrong.”


“Paying a thousand dollars a day for this.”


“Refusing a guest's seduction.”


~
Poisonous Protege (2019)

There is wellness guru drama. This was directed by Daphne Zuniga. There is mindless braying and indefensible behaviour. A woman's sister is murdered. She thinks the jerk husband did it. He's a liar and a cheater and yells which doesn't help his defense. There is no logic battle. This was frankly stupid and the dead woman's son is a low, trash junkie.


This was incredibly disappointing. There is great emotional stress and ambivalent feelings. There is bad acting and this was barmy. The hubby is useless. This was very bad and horrible. There is no trust justified. There is egregious behaviour and she's unfair and openly hostile. The hubby is belligerent and the 'twist' is obvious. There are dark and dangeorus times.


Best Lines:

“In your body and in your power.”


“You ruined everything you cared about!”


~
Coriolanus (2011)

Various stars spews Shakespeare. I've no idea what is being said or what is happening. A war hero is exiled and seeks out an old enemy (Gerard Butler) to team up for revenge. Jon Snow appears as himself! This was not good.

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Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'A Kid From Coney Island' promo

An NBA star.


'Spooks' 7x05 promo

An evil banker!


'Star Trek Discovery' 3x08 promo

Weird things happen.


'ABC Fall' promo

Promos 'Desperate Housewives', flop shows and 'Lost' – ugh.


'Doctor Who: Revolution Of The Daleks' promo

John Barrowman and Chris Noth.


'CW: TV Now' (2014) promo

Promos 'The Vampire Diaries', 'The 100', 'Reign', 'Supernatural', 'Arrow', 'iZombie' and 'The Secret Circle' and 'The Flash' – mmm.


I want a gold, diamond and sapphire owl charm necklace. I want a diamond and mother of pearl caresse de plume brooch and a Van Cleef & Arpel's yellow-and-white-gold, diamnd, yellow-sapphire, spessarile-garnet, onyx and letterhood l'arche de noe biche et cef clip. I want a Dreamboule ring and a man in the moon 18ct gold spinning diamond charm. I want a moonstone ring and a sapphire and diamond braclet and cabochon sapphire and dimaond and pink topaz diamond set pendant and pink tourmaline, amethyst and aquamarine briolette pendants. I want a bow pendant and a Dior a Versailles earrings in gold, silver, platinum, diamonds and emeralds. I want a noeud clip in platinum, onyx, gold and diamonds. I want a Tiffany T diamond and black onyx rose gold pendant and Faberge colours of love earrings.


What are christmas roast boxes?


There is frozen truffle vodka? What is a bramble martini? What is hedgerow jam?


Poor swans. 🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢


I'd try a marmalde old fashioned.


'Smallville' is 20 years old.


My ex's abandonment still hurts and he was scheming and vanished when I needed him. He erased me from his life. I hoped my ex might care, he was a disappointment. My ex = unrepentant. My ex inflicted psychological harm. My ex = utterly unjust and he needs to do an expiation of his sins.


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“That constant narrative that it's us that is the problem.”


“Like two of my uncles fighting at the barbecue.”


“Constraints on their access to public space.”


“One of the more talented members of One Direction.”


“Struggled to contain her fury.”


“Loyal ally.”


“Ignored warnings.”


“Denies any responsibility.”


“An idea on the wrong side of history.”


“Great idea whose time has passed.”


“Thousands of miles away from everything he had ever known.”


“Who writes history and who faces consequences.”


“Had a very public breakdown.”


“Even the private security firm that patrols the road were ordered not to taser non-residents found in the area after dark.”


“How much effort goes into their care.”


“House would feel very empty without her.”


“Digital hordes.”


“Bring order to the world's chaos.”


“Murderers lurked in the shubbery.”


'How To Get Away With Murder' Quotes:

“We're pariahs on that campus!”


“Horrible thing that we must do!”


“It's death in there!”


'Perry Mason' Quote:

“Beatnik joint!”


'The Trials of Oscar Pistorius' Quote:

“Protecting your woman.”


Thomas Pynchon Quote:

“Hold hostage to the future we must live in now forever.”


'HowToSpendIt' Quotes:

“One brave lobster even made it up the driveway of Kim Kardashian West's Calabasas home.”


“Kangaroo's bounced into abandoned shopping malls.”


'Teen Titans Go!' Quotes:

“Disgusting pile of filth!”


“Charming hovel.”


“It is the vile!”


“He is the dead!”


'Murder In Amish Country' Quotes:

“Troubled household.”


“Requires punishment.”


'FTWeekend' Quotes:

“Excitingly subversive.”


“Adamantly oppose.”


“They threw walnuts at weddings as a symbol of fertility.”


“Fry station.”


“Nature as it was meant to be.”


“High moral tone.”


“Widespread recoil from its excesses.”


“Dispatched to an early grave by the world's cruel indifference.”


“The artworks and the scene it recorced disappeared.”


'Channel 4 News' Quote:

“Open defiance.”


'BBC News' Quotes:

“Insecurity about her talent.”


“Fame and attention she had always mistrusted.”


'Sky News' Quotes:

“Strict bio-security measures.”


“Level of distain.”


'The Sunday Times' Quotes;

“Riot training.”


“Inflamed resentment.”


“Charm slips.”


“The wealthiest human being there has ever been.”


“Motives may be less atruistic.”


“Redemptive experience.”


“No happy memories of that time.”


“Legend-making.”


“How uncontrollably immense they had become and never would be again.”


“Generational practice.”


“Under constant suspicion.”


“Ultra-paranoid.”


“Had to be rugby-tackled by security as they rampaged toward the stage.”


“Sometimes eccentric approach to journalism.”


“Coercive action.”


“Atlanticist.”


“Rigid with fear and barricaded in their hosues.”


“Looking on with pity in their eyes.”


“Stabby bits.”


'The Irish R.M' Quotes:

“Gives us the leaky roof over our head!”


“Die in a ditch in the famine of Black 47!”


“Going to country meath.”

“But that's terrible.”


“What happy news.”


“Vexed and irritated.”

PromNight2

Discovery 3x07+Supernatural 15x12+Spooks 7x04+Charmed 2x05+The Crown 4x09&4x10+Arrow 1x02&1x03

Unification III
Michael and co learn the fate of the Vulcans, Romulans and Spock. This is a follow up a near 30 year old 'TNG' 2 parter. Michael the Mary Sue does everything. Tilly is annoyed with Michael. There is a mention of the USS Yelchin. Michael rants about SB19 – what is that. Michael is shocked to learn that the Vulcans changed the name of their planet to Ni'Var. And that the Romulans and Vulcans are of the same species and that they have unified thanks to Spock. Also Vulcan left the UFP. Saru and Michael are stunned about all this and the merging of cultures.


I guess in the reboot verse there will be no unification due to Vulcan being blown up. The Romulans becoming homeless due to their homeworlds blowing up helped unification take place. The UFP was running out of dilithium even before The Burn. The Romulans wanted to stay in the UFP. The Vulcans think they caused The Burn and SB19 is a secret Vulcan project. Michael overacts and is not Spock's sister.


Spock's fate is revealed. We see a clip of Leonard Nimoy from his guest spot in 'Unification 1&2'. Michael never looked him up. Tilly is XO and hasn't completed her command training programme. Where are the Klingons? Tilly is XO and an ensign! There is more new tech and Michael is so special. There is no mention of Spock's half brother Sybok. The Vulcans don't want to share. Michael picks a fight. The Vulcans and Romulans wear combined raptor/IDIC pins. Which are the Vulcans and which are the Romulans? You can't tell.


There is a tie-in to 'Star Trek: Picard'. Michael is still a Vulcan citizen. Her mother shows up. Saru is troubled by the future. Where is the Emperor? Michael talks to a Romulan, a Vulcan and a Romulan/Vulcan hybrid. There are holographic burning torches and gongs and where is the Vulcan hand gesture? What is subatomic tensing? What unrest on Vulcan are they talking about? Michael tries for emotional appeal.


Paul finds the idea of taking orders from Tilly deeply, deeply weird. Michael is an idiot and Vulcans look different. Didn't the Romulans have forehead ridges? Absolute candor doesn't help anyone. Michael was never Vulcan and her mother is awful. This does not resonate and there is confrontation and Michael faces sustained criticism. Michael is not astute. Devastating consequences are risked. Vulcan has irrevocably changed. Michael tries to benefit from Spock's reputation. Spock left the UFP behind.


There is no due deliberation. What were the contributory factors to the Burn? Michael is not meritorous and Michael faces social judgement. Spock's greatness is attributed to Micheal – oh FFS! Michael gets the SB19 data and there is a group hug. The Sundered have returned and there is hope and finally the Vulcan hand gesture is done and the phrase “Live long and prosper” uttered. Grudge is seen and this was mmm.


Best Lines:

“Become someone new.”


“A distance between us now.”


“I don't know how I fit in.”


“Not just the Vulcans who live there now.”


“Took centuries after his death.”


“The Romulans were considered enemies in our time.”

“And for a long time after.”


“They share the planet with the Romulans.”


“History forgot this in your time.”


“Vulcan was one of the founding members of the Federation.”


“Look back to find out who he became.”


“Complex relationship with the truth.”


“Struggle with all that has changed.”


“Unearth deep truths.”


“Trafficked in secrets.”


“Ancient story isn't it.”


“Ruthlessly assail the credibility of the challenger.”


“Real and grave consequences.”


“Federation is so reduced.”


“Like a different kind of life.”


“You won't convince them.”


“No cause more lost than yours.”


“Bind themselves to lost causes.”


“Sheer size of the Federation.”


“Welcomed the Romulans home.”


“When to let go of maxims and proverbs.”


“Paid most dearily.”


“Logic and fact.”


“Found it lacking.”


“Disobeying yet another direct command from yet another captain.”


“Let me speak truth to you.”


“I ask you for nothing.”


“List of grievances and regrets.”


“Help to rebuild the Federation.”


“Not convinced of your motives.”


~
Galaxy Brain

I'm confused. On another Earth, Chuck wants an end to subplots and failed spinoffs. Sam whines and Jack lurks. Who's Billie? Castiel bores and one feels nothing for this. One thinks nothing of this. This is a follow up to the 'Wayward Sisters' ep. There is talking and bad acting and nothing happens. This was morose. Why is everyone scared of Death? Where did new Death come from? There is exposition.


Best Lines:

“Unsatisfied with your viewing experience.”


“It's monologue time.”


“That's Winchester dumb!”


“Be good for the world.”


“Everything went wrong.”


“This is Winchester stupid!”


“Stupid risk.”


“Messengers of god's destruction.”


~
A Chance For Peace

There is a possibility of an accord with an enemy. There is a smug lawyer and Lucas' double agent status is in peril. Nobody reflects upon their actions. Lucas microwaves a bomb. The yanks are vile and there is ill will. This was vacuity and it was dull and there is no urgency.


Best Lines:

“Expect hostile intelligence services to be present.”


“Such evil aims?”


“Why do we bother?”


~
The Truth About Kat And Dogs

Mel and Maggie attempt to find Macy. Why are they trusting Abigael? She talks in the most annoying way. There are societal policies to annoy. There is complacency and cultural dislocation and things have irrevocably changed. There is no intellectual or emotional depth. Harry has a demonic mind meld. This was miserable and pitiful. There are horrible situations and indignation.


There is outright hostility and one is not contented. There are deleterious effects and no enduring cost to magic. We see Harry's origin. Abigale ignites fires of rage. Bile is spewed and people are increasingly desperate. This was graceless and unnecessary. There is no self questioning and things are grim and miserable.


There are side-effects and this was worthless and one's indifferent. People moan about bad stuff in this irritating. This was not plaintive and there is no gravitas. This was a farce. This was manically terrible. Abigael is not brilliantly vicious and Harry has a poisoned history. There is no cultural stimulation. There is no idle amusement. Who is the Assassin's master? There is a homage to the Piper/Leo sitch.


Best Lines:

“Loser brother.”


“Banned spells.”


“Dog snack for a demon hound.”


~
Avalanche

Charles is 37? He dresses, looks and acts like is 80. He claps like a rapid seal and Diana dances with Wayne Sleep to try and open her husband's heart. It does not work. A sense of dread deepens and Charles is horrible to Diana and jealous of her popularity. Where's Harry? Charles leaves his wife alone to sulk with Camilla. It is 1988 and Charles is caught in an avalance. Leave him there!


Charles = Prince of wails. Philip looks morose. There is foreshadowing of 1997. There are affairs and people helped Charles cheat. Charles doesn't care that Diana is sad and there is no mention of Kanga. Charles has a profound realisation that he wants to marry Camilla. He ignores her husband and children. Charles tells terrible lies and who fathered Camilla's children? There is a massive fireplace. The queen is cold and cruel. Charles rants about Diana straying.


Charles spies on Diana. James Hewitt is mentioned and briefly seen – he does not speak. It is Charles and Diana's 7th anniversary. Camilla is scheduled in for a quickie. Charles forgets and ignores his wedding anniversary. William and Harry are seen. The staff clean away all evidence of Camilla: photos, underwear and sheets.


Diana arrives and Charles ignores his sons. Why didn't Charles join the boys and Diana in the pool? Charles mocks Diana's gift and Charles rants about kindness and deludes himself into thining he's in a great romance with Camilla. He shows no kindness to his sons or wife. The royal protection is ever lurking. Charles needs Camilla and has obliviousness. Trouble seems to follow him around. Charles is cruel and calculated. Charles wants to marry Camilla and she is a grasper and a sponger. There is simmering resentment and Charles ignores his wife to hang out with Camilla. Charles takes, takes and takes and never accepts responsibility.


Best Lines:

“Public displays like that horrify me!”


“Properly loathe you!”


“Where she'll be waiting for you.”


“Full of kicks and spins.”


“What have I done now?”


“Notoriously challenging off piste slope.”


“Codename for the death of the Prince Of Wales.”


“Reflection on the integrity of the crown.”


“Cannot be allowed to fail.”


“All lived unhappily ever after.”


“Age chasm.”


“Personalities come from different planets.”


“No point in trying anymore.”


“In and out, in and out.”


“Worse than the newspapers report.”


“Too awful to comprehend.”


“Ghastly moment.”


“All know what she gets up to.”


“Accept the imperfect reality of being human.”


“Great Romeo & Juliet thing that you imagine.”


“All doors firmly shut.”


“Not welcome here anymore.”


“Turf cutting ceremony.”


“Putting on a kind face.”


“No one wants your marriage to end.”


“Happier than you think.”


“Adored me like you do.”


“Escape this calamity of a marriage.”


“The woman you think loves you.”


War

Glass milk bottles and milkmen still existed in 1990. Thatcher loses power and Charles is a burk. John Major is seen. Charles has moral decay and is pitiful and shamelessly irrational. Grimly, inevitably Diana's end is coming. Charles rants about Diana and is a hypocrite about his own affair. Europe is mentioned. Charles doens't care about William. Charles gaslights his wife and mocks her mental health with the help of his lackeys.


Bush is POTUS. Gulf war 1 is about to kick off. Diana flies to NY on concorde. Do they have bidets in NY? Diana visits an AIDS ward and hugs an AIDS patient. Camilla sulks and Charles thinks people would love him and Camilla together. Charles screams abuse at his wife and doesn't care about his sons, all he cares about is Camilla.


There are corgis, christmas and poor birds. The queen could care less. Only the queen matters. This was beyond bad and Charles has great malice.


Best Lines:

“Years of resentment.”


“I am wretchedly unhappy.”


“Name has become a political byword.”


“Spoilt immature man endlessly complaining, unnecessarily.”


“Oh that crisis.”


“Why would we want to discuss that?”


“Anxious looks in your eyes.”


“Outsiders who married in.”


“I refuse to be blamed anymore for this grotesque misalliance!”


~
Honor Thy Father

Oliver is a violent lunatic. Tommy mentions Oliver stole a taxi, peed on a cop, beat someone up and had a DUI. Why is Diggle still working for Oliver? Laurel still called Oliver the love of her life as she was dying despite him cheating on her with her sister! Thea and her bad acting is sick of Oliver's crap. Oliver's bitch mother whines. China White debuts. Lance is a rabid cop. Oliver knows Tommy and Laurel are an item and he is already trying to screw her! FFS Oliver was a terrible friend to Tommy. Laurel is orange. This was wildly implausible. Oliver is a jerk for no reason. The yacht was sabotaged. This was okay.

Lone Gunmen
Thea is drinking and Oliver whines. Tommy wants to go clubbing. What became of Joanna? Oliver's mom is a bitch. Oliver hangs out with the Russian mob. This was not okay. Deadshot makes his underwhelming debut. Laurel shows fight skills she later lost. Felicity the show killer debuts. Oliver dropped out of 4 schools. Why wasn't Thea allowed to keep her pet cat? Diggle finds out.

Best Line:
"I don't need your forgiveness."

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