November 16th, 2020

Raffles&Bunny

Book Review: The Best Horror Of The Year, Volume Twelve, part 4

The Best Horror Of The Year Volume Twelve edited by Ellen Datlow, part 4


Nor Cease You Never Now

A tale of survivor guilt or something. This was not freighted with dread or grief. This was not especially disturbing.


Playscape

With grim fascination, unfolds a tale of a missing child and a bad place. This was very good.


Best Lines:

“Stroller set.”


“Pity casseroles.”


Adrenaline Junkies

Skydivers become chow for monsters. This wasn't good.


Best Lines:

“Daring the world to kill her.”


“Alley-meat.”


Watching

This was utterly nihilistic.


Best Lines:

“Want to fit but never will.”


“Work out what they're meant to do.”


“Always looking round, wondering if they got it right.”


Mr. And Mrs. Kett

Houseguests from hell pay a visit in this nice and eerie tale.


Below

2 boys bunking off school learn what lurks beneath the streets. Mmmmm.


Best Lines:

“Live or perish.”


“What's down there that finds a way out.”

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Star Trek Discovery 3x05 + Spooks 6x03 + Supergirl 1x01 Reviewed

Die Trying

The crew find the remnants of Starfleet and its commander: Admiral Vance (Oded Fehr). But they are not welcome. There is deluge of acrimony. Federation HQ is located. Why do they need to mask their location? New Starfleet ships are seen. I didn't see the USS Nog but I did see the Voyager J. J?!?! What is the shiny thing? There are organic and holographic ships.


Things are wilfully familiar, yet not. There is potent yearning and Discovery has no deep network of allies. Discovery faces outright, even justified suspicion. The crew face the limit of what is humanly tolerable. Michael has a chicken pox scar. There are new uniforms in the future. Kelpians are now in the UFP.


This was not uplifiting. Narratively it's a total mess, you've seen all this before. Still it is overcooked fun. There are talk of prions. The status quo is a brooding absence. The Discovery has 100,000 years of knowledge. There is an AI doctor. There are now only 38 UFP member worlds. The whole Andorian race is going extinct plot from the novel-verse is of course non-canon now. There used to be 350 member worlds of the UFP. What happened to the subspace relays? There are floating chairs and moving floors due to nano-tech. Vance is not friendly.


Discovery is listed as destroyed in 2258. There are new rank tags. Discovery has violated the Temporal Accords. The spore drive is not remembered. Why does Michael know the sick alien? Where is Book and the observer guy? There is exposition and talk of Orions. The Emperor is debriefed. Who is suit guy (David Cronenberg)? There is a seed vault ship that has samples of every plant in the galaxy.


There is a bitchy woman and an ion storm. Detmer freaks out, again. We see weird breathers. There is a future combadge that projects info. The Burn was quite the humbling experience. There have been no crossings between this reality and the mirror universe in 500 years. The former Emperor learns the Terran Empire fell.


There is a mysterious melody and a crazy person and a ship by a CME. Wouldn't the CME have destroyed the seeds? Someone leaves Discovery. How do people hug with breathers on? The person who leaves just has her uniform and that's it. How does Saru know Giotto? The doctor can use tech from 930 years in the future. What is up with the Emperor? What is with the music? This was okay. Nhan is from Barzan which was not in the UFP when she joined Starfleet, so who wrote her letter of recommendation? Barzan has since joined the UFP.


Best Lines:

“Neo-constitution.”


“Detached nacelles? Where do they even put the warpd core?”


“A 1000 year old ship.”


“Preform triage in the corridors.”


“Our Federation family.”


“Aberrant protein coating.”


“Spent most of the 30th century.”


“All organic life in the universe would have eneded.”


“Owe you a debt beyond words.”


“May I ask why?”

“No.”


“Federation that I remember.”


“All back home now.”


“My murderer and I are good now.”


“Raining Starfleet officers.”


“Throw me in the brig hologram.”


“Determining your intentions.”


“Hate us a little more.”


“A murderer in at least 2 universes.”


“Flying through a mushroom network.”


“All Terrans are duplicitous by their biology.”


“Extremely wicked, even for a Terran.”


“Misfolding proteins.”


“Serve as she is able.”


“Walk where you've been walking.”


“Share the same ethos.”


“Fossil of a ship.”


“Vulcans need to learn to stay in their lane.”


“Empire based on the maxim: because we feel like it.”


“Whoever did this must be merciless.”


“My species is known for 2 things: diligence and poverty.”


“Broke open the seed vault.”


“Star burp.”


“Ideal that saved my life.”


“Unimaginably far away.”


“Incapable of making rational decisions.”


“Living history of the Federation.”


“Cultural mitigations.”


“Sometimes there is no good choice.”


“Reach for the best in ourselves.”


“We don't have 5 year missions anymore. Explortation is a luxury we cannot afford.”


“Gave what he saw to the world.”


“Servant of the Federation.”


“Revered time.”


“Gone unnoticed for 120 years.”


“Unimaginably far away.”


“Terran Empire fell centuries ago.”


~
The Kidnap

Ros is in peirl. Harry faces blowback for his idiot actions. There is another aggressive and malicious campaign. This was an appalling vista. Harry's combative style is part of this geezery romp. I don't care about the demands of their lives. Harry is stalwart. Jo's face has healed. Adam is a massive jerk. Malcolm is in peril, only not. There are fake lethal toxic chemicals. Adam has an earring. This was truly awful with no cold dread.


There is babble about Yalta. This was largely uninteresting. There is no moral character, just intransigence. This was utter vacuity, that is brutally inadequate. There is fake darkness. There is no brooding introspection. There is mediocrity. There is constant complicity and this was a misery extravaganza. There are nefarious shenanigans. Is the missing agent dead? The purpose of this ep is not immediately apparent. There is a big reveal and Adam can do no wrong.


Best Lines:

“I consider your threats idle.”


“I will pursue with vengeance.”


“Men in MBC suits.”


“Terrorist among the UFOlogists.”


“The great and the little satan.”


“Porton Down bad.”


“What the plane was cargoing.”


“Human conspirators.”


“Malevolent external forces.”


“Either drunk or depressed.”


“All its disastrous consequnces.”


“America's repellent self-justification.”


“Hardly a bad thing.”


“Wringing their hands about hospital waiting lists.”


“Start to go very badly for you.”


“He's one of them.”


“Unspeakable things.”


“Bioweapons spillage.”


~
Pilot

I rewatched this ep which told with cloying sentimentality the origin story of the idol of the nation. Kara has outlived her intent. Alex is unsurpassably awful with a manic fixation on being a thankless, bad sister. She's increasingly hostile and fractious and aggrieved until TPTB dropped that plot. James is Kara's love interest, but TPTB dropped that plot too. Alex's plane gets into trouble.


The cultural response to flying super powered god like aliens is...something else. Alex never apologised for her terrible behaviour. Was the plane save based on the Hudson River crash and on 'Superman Returns'? No one recognised Kara after the plane save? Dean Cain and Helen Slater caemo as The Danvers. Alex has visceral dislike and is dangerously selfish. This was dispiriting. This was as horrible as it was predictable.


Alex derides. Winn's behaviour and creeper implications are glosed over. This was not exceptionally important. This had BAD vfx and Alex is a traitor. This was Max Lord free.


Best Lines:

“Use the lesser card stock.”


“Preforming heroic acts.”


“Bottom of the pile forever.”


“Female flying form.”


“Who or rather what she is.”


“Plane saving lady.”


“Go get me a lettuce wrap!”

Sergio Balleseros

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Star Trek Discovery' 3x06 promo

?


'The Spanish Princess' 2x07 promo

Book burning and Henry's aged.


Best Line:

“My power falters.”


Gluten free crispbread – mmm.

Dominio's potato wedges – yum.


Who saw 'Lady Rings The Blues', 'Super Size Me' or 'Marriage Italian Style'?


Pink tartan minis exist.


'Swedish Dicks' is crap.


I'd try bao filled with custard and burnt lime and maple chipotle sauce.


My ex pursued his own interests.My ex ditched his caring commitments. My ex had a negative impact and profound irresponsibility. My ex = cruel and cowardly.


I want a Chopard l'here du diamant collection watch. I want Aquazzura leather and crystal tequila 105 sandals. I want pave set rubies. I want a Bovet 1822 Recital 23 watch. I want an ivory clutch. I want a Mosaic truck bag and a Tom Ford lip spark and a Virgin Violet candle and a Diorific vernis Golden Nights limited edition in Golden Snow. I want a top-handle bag and a miumiu candle and an egg clutch and a silk camisole and tobacco mandarin extract de parfum and a mesmerizing oudh Accord and gold bath and shower gel and a rose face mask and roasted chestnut home candle and a deer cushion and a crystalline cheese board.


What is black salt?


'Space Force' renewed.


I will review 'The Heretics', 'The Dead Zone', 'Familiar Spirit', 'The Sibling', 'Under The Yoke', 'Nutcracker', 'After Sundown', 'White Trash Warlock', 'The Cheerleaders', 'The Cousins', 'One By One', 'Royal Witches', 'Top Marks For Murder' and 'Little Threats'.


I won't review 'Old Bones'.


'RTE News' Quotes:

“Bravery was far from recognised.”


“Felt shunned.”


“Christmas levels of parcels.”


'HowToSpendIt' Quotes:

“Wildly unaffordable.”


“When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.”


“Formidable gut health.”


'De Gaulle in eirinn' Quotes:

“The generations passed.”


“Real local locations.”


“Defeat final and irredeemable.”


“A consecrated book.”


“Mythic, historic president.”


“Imprisoned by their enemies.”


“First tier of nations.”


'Sky News' Quotes:

“Beacon lighting events.”


“Coastal gales.”


“Decades of indecision.”


“Goes against offical planners.”


“Shame our country.”


“Pageant master.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“So in thrall to its own history.”


“Squinting with suspicion out behind a barely open door,”


“Completely oblivious to the identities of each other.”


“Joy in a jar.”


“Generational thing.”


“Don't feel the need to create a sense of community.”


“Not the done thing to keep to oneself.”


“Unable to unleash his pre-planned tirade.”


“They don't even set the plastic seats on fire, or, sing offensive songs at each other.”


“Recalcitrant.”


“Mollifer-in-chief.”


“Certainment.”


“Managed tensions.”


“Needed heroes.”


“Required to be wholesome.”


“Astro-groupies.”


“The communal bins.”


“Evil precedent.”


“Societal stagnation.”


“Inflexible.”


“Immediately attracted national ridicule.”


“Detected a strong smell of intoxicating liquor.”


“Last bastion of identity.”


“Prompted local irration.”


“Whose behaviour will reach crisis point first.”


“Society-imposed quest.”


“Refuses to question the overrding morality and ehtics of their situation.”


“Accept things as they are, however abhorrent.”


“Relinquishing of one's individual responsibility to discern right from wrong.”


“Willingness to follow orders, however terrible their consequnces.”


“They were the rule, taken to its furthest, most awful extremity.”


“Harbinger of what proved inevitable-”


“Blurred line between fact and opinion.”


'Dr Phil' Quote:

“Was a gun pulled during a conversation?”


'BBC News' Quotes:

”Returning to the plague zone.”


“Not everyone in the plague zone is undead.”


“Maurading hordes.”


“Things are looking dire.”


“Sharp cultural rifts.”


“Few cinemas that are open.”


“Went off a cliff edge.”


“A man who he neither likes not trusts.”


'The Disappearance Of Maura Murray' Quotes:

“Certainly never come forward.”


“Creepy cabin.”


“Take up second lives in another country.”


“Circulates locally.”


'Swedish Dicks' Quotes:

“Smell like failure and desperation.”


“Sucks. At everything.”


'Dateline' Quote:

“Very horrible time.”


'Sex, Lies & Murder' Quotes:

“Personal runways.”


“Cocaine 80s.”


“Weird happenings.”


“Clowns were suspect.”


“Clown hair.”


“The clown pulls out a gun.”


“Killer clown was on the loose.”


“Crazy clown on the loose.”


“Killer clown thing that happened.”


'FTWeekend' Quotes:

“Deadstock fabrics.”


“Not going to resonate with fashion consumers.”


“Social costs.”


“Make you uniquely unqualified.”


“No one who challenged its authority was beyond reach.”


“Lived with daily intimidation.”


'The Sunday Business Post' Quote:

“The backlash was instantaneous, vitriolic and long-lasting.”


'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“World pitched into chaos and delusion.”


“Essential purpose.”


“Dangerously real.”


“They were even more cross because the steak was still bleeding, the chunky chips were nothing like the “proper” chips they got from McDonald's and there were leaves on the plate. Actual bloody leaves.”


“Insisting there was no contagion.”


“No Errol Flynn bollocks.”


“I gave it to the cushion for 11 takes.”


“Perceived tormentors.”


“Personally goading him.”


“His abuse and lunatic behaviour are extreme even by Hollywood standards.”


“Famous for being stupid and always to blame.”


“Dooms her characters to the fates already arranged for them.”


“Destined to define them for decades afterwards.”


“Long fade toward artistic irrelevance.”


“Denied a permit to cross Persia, he had to devise a new route using a school atlas bought in the bazaar.”


“May the louse-infested sow eat you.”


“Where all the lost words have gone,”


“Taking to stockpiling and reading survivalist blogs.”


“Politically virtuous ice-cream.”


“Remained suspicious on the pavement.”


“Oft-overlooked.”


“Interprets a smile as a threat-”


“All my cultural references came from him.”


“Feel nervous living in my own house,”


“Food-led.”


“National tantrum.”


“Grievance movement.”


“Doesn't like criticism and doesn't respond well to it.”


“Disinclination.”


“Self-presentation.”


“Once found only in avant-garde French novels.”


“Morally reassuring.”


“Mounting popular discontent.”


“The defining detail of her life.”


“Poisonous legacy.”


“Perilously reckless.”


“Spectre of irrelevance looms,”


“Young minds manipulated by malign forces.”


“Losing favour fast.”


“Dead people will outnumber the living on Facebook with 50 years.”


“Entrenched opposition.”


“Existential threat to humanity.”


“Experienced its own reckoning.”


“Wilful national amnesia.”


“Culture of shame has been created.”


“Socially unacceptable.”


'Royal History's Greatest Fibs' Quotes:

“Come to define his place in history.”


“Terrible reputation.”


“Drunkenly asleep in the fireplace.”


“Contested nature.”


“Couldn't find a publisher in his lifetime.”


“Waiting to roar support.”


“Less regretted.”


“What eye had wept for him?”


'A Simple Favor' Quotes:

“Slap the sorry out of you.”

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Hungerford+American Fright Fest+The Exorcist III+Life Of The Party+Giant Claw+Blob

Hungerford (2014)

A malign influence attacks a small town in this UK horror. Is the influence ominious and otherworldy? This was found footage and the unrest and turmoil takes place offscreen. This was mediocrity. There is yelling. Some guy with boyband hair is a malignant influence himself. Nobody is magnanimous. This had inherent laziness and a wholesale failure.


A cop waves a shotgun, in the UK. There is bad weather and self-aggrandizing people. They've a hyper obsession with filming themselves. One actively feels distain for this and them. This was not incredibly capable or sincere. There is no intense disquiet. There is no fateful turning point. The burks feel they have the right to comment. There is unending predictability.


There is bad acting and this was cheap with axes waved. There is blood and screaming and will they stop filming? Are the attackers zombies? Alien zombies? There is bad VFX and this was BAD. There is disagreeable wickedness and transgressions and unrighteous veniality. This had a lack of grace and revelation of character. There is mumbling.


This does not leave you rapt. There is no grave concern. This was dreadful with no caring or passion. There are selective rants and this was useless and unnecessary. This was enraging and there is audacity and it was not fraught or complex. There are violent frustrations and a random shopping cart signals disorder.


There is no emotional resonance. There is no gloomy regret. There is a factory and tepid storytelling. There is no original worldbuilding. There are many irritations. This was not wholly effective. Are there aliens? This was disastrous.


Best Lines:

“Don't have time for all this nonsence.”


“Trust you to bring drugs!”


“Kick it in!”


~
American Fright Fest (2018)

This was low budget, cheap and ugly looking. Dylan Walsh plays a famous horror director. This was not highly atmospheric and it was not anything.


~
The Exorcist III (1990)

We see the steps, the fog and hear a brief moment of Tubular Bells. Jason Miller and Geroge C. Scott and Brad Dorif star in this unwanted sequel that was written and directed by William peter Blatty. It's 15 years since the McNeil case.


Nicol Williamson also features. Despite falling down the longest steps in horror movie history Damien Karras (Miller) is alive, sorta, and possessed by a serial killer. Larry King and Fabio appear in cameos. There is weird imagery and Scott emoting furiously. There is an annoying screaming nurse and death and big scissors and bad acting. This was bad and wildly unlikely.


Best Lines:

“Nothing's normal about that man.”


“Begetter of death.”


“Only the darkness here.”


“Numbing of the moral sense.”


~
Life Of The Party (2018)

This was a totally unsatisfactory, shockingly poor and appalling Melissa McCarthy 'comedy'. She's a house frau in a bad wig and her husband is an uncaring jerk who leaves her for a predatory schemer ho. She has despairing rage and her ex has spiteful fervour. This lacks a coherent plot


She doesn't possess any obvious qualifications. Her geek macho soon to be ex husband and bimbo bother her. They try to sell her house from under her. He leaves a trail of destruction for which he never has to take no responsibility. There is havoc in this ineffective mess. Her divorce is not a grave matter for her brat daughter. The mother goes back to college with her daughter. This was truly dreadful tosh.


This was deplorable. She's desperate. This was awful and falters. This was pathetic and she is unravelling. This was cringe making. There are grievances and inertia. The ex has a corrosive effect. There is sheer desperation and negative reactions and lecturing arrogance.


The daughter is bitchy and there is a 'star' cameo. This was not fascianting. Julie Bowen plays the homewrecking skank. The mother is particularly riled and dithering and this was semi-parodic.


Best Lines:

“Snackish.”


“Save your receipts.”


“You are not shooting Dan!”


“He's hateable.”


“I can't believe you shacked up with a bitch.”


“You look like Orson Welles had a stroke and stayed that way!”


~
The Giant Claw (1957)

A giant space bird attacks. French Canadians blubber and the line “I'll never call my mother in law an old crow again” is actually uttered. The space bird looks like a dried turd. People are ordered on lockdown to avoid the space turd. The poor space turd is killed. The end. This was dated.


Best Lines:

“In the sense that we understand eating?”


“Creature from the skies.”


~

The Blob (1958)

Steve McQueen's movie debut. He plays a teenager despite looking like he is 45! This has an upbeat goofy theme song. The blob looks like jam. This was so silly.


Best Lines:

“Always some shooting or screaming!”


“Fool town!”


“Most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life!”