October 19th, 2020

Scary Books

Book Review: Year Zero Volume 1

The dead walk, the living sorta run in this graphic novel. A Japanese hitman, a Mexican street kid, an Afghan military aide, a Polar research scientist and a Midwestern American prepper face a global epidemic. This was good. The prepper's call sign is Rambo Dragon. This was wholly satisfactory, overwhelming and bleak. Someone deeply regrets a borderline irresponsible decision. There is sinister reality and the zombie apocalypse escalated dramatically. There is fatalism and inertia. There are isolated and fearful people living with trauma. The prepper meets someone.

Best Lines:

“We're specks of dust on a rock spinning through an infinite void.”

“Terrified of their irrelevance.”

“The worst is here.”

“This world is damned. The devil walks among us.”

“Nobody believed them when I told them what was coming.”

“Risen to claim the world.”

“Impassable swarm of infection.”

“He had risen indeed.”

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Dceased Dead Planet Issue 4 + Green Hornet Issue 3 Reviewed 👎👎

Dceased Dead Planet Issue 4

The anti-life is not an increasingly terrifying situation. There is no wincing violence in this apocalyptic existence which is so devoid of hope and so denched in cruelty and violence. There is no emotional heft. Who or what are the New Gods? There are irreversible impacts and horrible uncertainty.

There is little room for nunace and the heroes are truculent. There are acts of despair and morose reflection. Who are these New Gods? This issue was nonsensical and illogical. How do they clean their hero costumes? Who is Scott Free? A New God in a chair flies around in space, alrighty then. What or who is Metron? Constantine has Madame Xanadu's crystal ball (those words make no sense). What is New Genesis? Dinah sulks.

How is Jon stronger than his dad? New Gods are bullies. How are Jon and the new Wonder Woman breathing in space? Darkseid shows up as a zombie. But there are too many New Gods in stupid outfits to care.

Best Lines:

“You gave me to Darkseid.”

“Killing Wonder Woman and Superman used to be high on the bucket list of a lot of my old friends.”

“Gods, they're all about the awe.”

“Grifting a god.”

“Skewered by a magic sword and bleeding out.”

“I'll be okay.”

“Sure, lots of people have said that before being turned into murderous agents of the anti-life equation.”

“Destroyed the world, and all who lived upon it.”

“Something so hot about an emotionally aware Batman.”

Green Hornet Issue 3

There is fighting and incoherence. The art is so green. This issue is so short and the art is really ugly. The plot is engimatic. I certainly didn't enjoy it.

Best Lines:

“My first wife. Still my favorite.”

“At long last you must pay the price for your unspeakable crimes!”

“Loyalty and friendship.”

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Movie Reviews: Rampage+Trial Of The Chicago 7+Crimes Of The Mind+Leprechaun Returns+Echoes Of Fear

Rampage (2018)

Dwayne Johnson and a giant ape star in this utterly woeful movie. A space station blows up and there is not a high degree of probability in this film. The space accident rains debris down on Earth. People blather on fruitlessly. There are gorillas and mumbling and no wit. This was less edifying. There are self sorry moods and a white gorilla.

There is bad VFX. Dwayne Johnson can talk to the animals. This was not edifying and Johnson and the white gorilla have an unshakeable bond. This was disinteresting. Why is a woman in tiny shorts? Animals in national parks are affected and grow. A grizzly dies. Animals become violent and aggressive. There is a persistent and deliberate pattern of behaviour by baddies.

A sample container was designed to withstand re-entry. Baddies seem badly dubbed. There are strange and fortuitous events. Baddies have unconcealed fervour for evil. They had a private space station which blew up in the prologue, they don't care. The rare white gorilla named George rampages. The space station was named Athena. The baddies motives are frustratingly vague and they engage in totally manipulative behaviour.

Baddies gleefully upset people and there are no spectacularly violent moments. This was not clever or relentless. This was not visceral or relentless. There is complacency and talk of crispr and this was based on an arcade game. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Malin Akerman, Joe Mangariello and Naomi Harris co star in this cliche storm. There are a lot of bad vfx and bad accents and wilful disregard for logic.

Baddies die in hilariously violent ways. This was not magnificently barmy. This was stultifying dullness. This was not intellectually thrilling. This was hideously shallow, boring and joyless. Jack Quaid and Marley Shelton were in this. Johnson needs to do better films. Even 4 script writers couldn't make this good.

Best Lines:

“Test subject is loose!”

“Doctor, the test subject is a rat.”

“Not anymore!”

“We'll unlock the escape capsule when you secure the sample.”

“Hull integrity critical.”

“Jungle doesn't kill you, the poachers will.”

“You're the food.”

“Yes the escape pod blew up.”

“Wasn't exactly for the betterment of humanity.”

“Killers r us.”

“San Diego wildlife sanctuary.”

“I need that wolf dead or alive.”

“Justice League?”

“You didn't know about the 30 foot wolf?”

“I see a lot of redacted.”

“Levels of aggression you don't see in his species.”

“Weirdoes on the internet.”

“There's no we anymore.”

“Since when is complicity a crime?”

“Feeding the monster to the gorilla.”

The Trial Of The Chicago 7 (2020)

Aaron Sorkin wrote and directed this. There are barely any women in this film. There is vintage footage of the 1968 riots, LBJ, Vietnam, the draft and the deaths of MLK and RFK. Tom Hayden, Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin and others are on trial for conspiracy to riot. It is a political set up trial being judged by an incompetent, biased judge.

Abbie has a wandering accent. The Black Panthers lurk. Mayor Daley is mentioned. Nixon is POTUS and Fred Hampton is seen. The trial drags on and on and on as they are accused of joint endeavour. They don't really know or like each other. This was unsettlingly true. This was horribly compelling.

There is jury rigging and a rift in the anti war community. Where were the protestors pissing? There is bra burning. Chicago had 50,000 soldiers on the streets. There are flashbacks and narcs and Allen Ginsberg and tear gas. The judge has the only black accused bound and gagged in court. Michael Keaton has a cameo. Hayden is blamed for provoking the riot.

Tom has vicarious victimhood. TPTB are change-averse. There is persistent condemnations. This was bleakly amusing and genuinely dusturbing. The legacy of the 1960s hangs grimly over today. Evil things can crumble. TPTB take irrational vengeance. Tom makes a statement about those KIA. There is a where are they now moment at the end. There is no mention of Jane Fonda. Sacha Baron Cohen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Frank Langella, Eddie Redmayne and Mark Rylance co starred. This was good.

Best Lines:

“Rebels without a job.”

“Real revolution.”

“America I grew up in.”

“Bumper sticker patriots.”

“Why would the police start hitting me?”

“Mr Johnson's back home in Texas.”

“Take your very scary hats off.”

“Tell em to stay calm.”


“We define winning differently.”

“Display of disrespect.”

“I don't care for your general tone.”

“So foreign to me.”

“Just like soap.”

“Cows are smarter than I think he is.”

“Public fornication.”

“We can't take grass.”

“Kicked his son out of the house for protesting the Vietnam war.”

“A lot of it is drugs.”

“Considered wrong in Honduras.”

“A witness who dresses like a growing man.”

“Idiot followers.”

“Know what was waiting for them on the other side.”

“The 60s never happened.”

“Populated by some terrible people.”

Crimes Of The Mind (2014)

There are almighty meltdowns in this woefully melodramatic film in which a woman claims a ranch cult has brainwashed her daughter. There was bad acting.

Best Line:

“Those people, they're not right.”

Leprechaun Returns (2018)

This was wholly unsatisfying crap.

Echoes Of Fear (2016)

A squeaky voiced woman and her hamster are in peril in this inept and sleazy film.


Trailer, Quotes & 3 Tape Tales

'The Spanish Princess' 2x03 promo

Katherine whines about Wolsey. The Scots revolt.

Radishes – nice.

Roast garlic & black pepper mayo – yum.

RIP Fungi? 🐬🙏

People keep me out of plans.

What is Mexican sweetcorn cake?

Who saw 'Rawhead Rex', 'The Witches' (1990), 'Enemy', 'Audition', 'The Night Of The Hunter' and 'Misery'?

Bluebirds are cute.

I missed another 'Misty & Scream' issue.

I'll review 'To Lose The Earth' and 'A Contest Of Principles'.

Why did my ex turn inexplicably hostile and weirdly mean? I'm hurt badly. How did I become uwanted? My ex has deliberate refusal to apologise.” My ex = overtly malicious. My ex caused dashed expectations. He has moral flaws. I feel profoundly unhappy. My ex had dangerous personality traits in retrospect. I once had warm admiration for him. One feels baffled despair at how I am not worth considering to my ex. He is gloriously unkind. I'm completely alone. He did me a grevious wrong. My ex destroyed our relationship. I feel unrestrained anger.

I'd competely forgotten about the 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' comic and I'm boycotting 'Angel'.

Cleared out 3 tapes. 📼📼📼

What's cultured butter or land cress?

Candlestick couture is a thing?

'RTE News' Quotes:

“Remain concerned.”

“Prefering his own company.”

“Little fin.”

“Congregate in car parks.”

'Coronation Street' Quote:

“She poured a can of fizzy drink over me.”

'BBC News' Quotes:

“Uncertainty and rumour.”

“Non food pubs.”

“Alert levels.”

“Vociferously opposing.”

“Can no longer be treated.”

“Life event.”

“Reacted badly to sucess.”

'HowToSpendIt' Quote:

“Freighted with ideological baggage.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Going out of our mind with loneliness.”


“Produce chaos.”

“Some unsavoury dive.”

“Ominiously named pest sheds.”

“Appalling era.”

Under duress.”

“Conciliatory attiude.”

“Unjustly be held responsible.”

“Needed to communicate a sense of confidence and hope.”

“Ever-lasting friendships.”

“That's the behaviour of a psychopath,”

“That's why there's five hundred rolls of Andrex four-ply quilted in the attic?”

“Giving me total filthies.”

“Travels through the crowd like a vicious rumour through Dalkey.”

“I'm terrified of him.”

“Fear of the prepetrator.”

“How the relationship she thought they had at the beginning, became the one she had to run away from.”

“Could see that it was going to end badly.”

“Shut down escape routes.”

“Designed to achieve obedience and create fear.”

“Blame the victim for their own abuse.”

“People not wanting to be viewed as vicitms.”

“So disrespected.”

“Public scandals and private relations.”

“Wide array of enemies.”

“Famous early 1970s audition.”

“Garners glowing responses wherver she goes.”

“Criminally unseen.”

“Spanned continents and generations.”

“Cleanse their respective societies from all that was deemed weak and outdated.”

“Assert himself as something other than a sidekick in Joe's stories.”

“No profound statement is left unmocked.”

“Each derides the other's realtionship choices.”

“No longer willing to listen to civilian experts.”

“National antipathy.”

“Harsh judgment on the motives.”

“Names engraved forever on the public consciousness.”

“Very different ideas of what constitues justice.”

“Financial distress.”

'Sky News' Quote:

“The streets are silent.”

'Unsolved Mysteries' Quote:

“Shipped off to a Nevada test site for storage.”

'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Have you throw bricks at one another.”

“Good christian father.”

“Promises after promises.”

'Dateline' Quotes:

“What might happen in the dark.”

“Be suspicious of me.”

'FTWeekend' Quotes:

“Now associate trade deals with Donald Trump and his chlorinated chickens.”

“Photographers would brawl with one another on the street.”

“Changed the way their fame is priced.”

“Lofty arbiter of what was permissible.”

“Impersonal vehicles of revealed truth.”

“Least disrespected.”

“Veneration for it has been waning over the past generation.”

“How society should be ordered.”

“Street hostilities.”

“No idea what it is like to live here and no interest in finding out.”

“Voluntarily unpaid.”

“War of conquest.”

“Never assume a conspiracy when mere incompetence will do?”

“Enthuse about their life chocies.”

“Thrill of the acquisition.”

'Seaquest 2032' Quote:

“Nothing ever lived there again.”

'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“No one would speak a word of English to me.”

“No fat cap.”

“Bored them out.”


“Brown paper bag of earthly pleasures.”

“Made me suddenly feel seen.”

“The couple whose relationship ended with an engagement ring flung into a swimming pool.”

“Sketched a new design on a sick bag.”

“Tangible rite of passage for 18-year-old boarding-school graduates.”

“Reeked of desperation.”

“Identically dressed fawning fanbase.”

“Infuriating accusations.”

“Delusional malingerer.”

“Quite cross I was there.”

“Defiantly old-fashioned.”


“Willing to excuse his antics.”

“Subjected to conduct that could result in psychological damage.”

“Ideological indoctrination.”

“Unsettling echoes from history.”

“Few Romans approved of peace.”

“Lurid speculation about his personal life.”

“Ruinous fallout.”


“Orchestratec campaign to ignore me.”

“Nefarious influence.”

“Cultural and class snobbery.”

“Offically permitted wife.”

“Documents of existence we leave behind.”

'The Sunday Business Post' Quote:

“Ability to grant them entrance into a friendship group.

'Law & Order: SVU' Quotes:

“One chance at a future.”

“Career junkie.”

Watched the 'Unsolved Mysteries' ep 'Washington Insider Murder': a body was found in a landfill and he was IDed by his West Point ring. He served 3 POTUS' and worked with veterans. The body was found in 2010. His house was thrashed and did he have a manic epsiode? There is discommoding conversations with his family. This ep caused weariness and deja vu. How did he end up in a dunpster in Newark? Dumpsters are referred to as cans and 8 yarders and 6 yarders. Did he climb into a dumpster? His family are obviously lying. What happened to his briefcase? Who set off smoke bombs? People have emotional biases.

Best Lines:

“Housing dispute.”

“Steet muggers...leave the body where it drops.”

Kylo Ren

Star Trek Discovery 3x01 + Roadkill (2020) 1x01 Reviewed

That Hope Is You, part 1

Michael meets Book in this ep which is not repackaged nostalgia. There are deep ideological divisions in the future. What's with the holo parrot? There is nano bed that becomes a nano desk. There is a new Starfleet logo. A man searches for Starfleet signals. There are wrecked ships in space. Recall holo-viewscreens? Now they have nano viewscreens and nano controls.

Michael has ended up seperated from the ship in the future. How does the suit have a heat shield? There is an alien sky and Michael pukes and the year is 3188. Is this a homage to 'Andromeda'? There is a dystopian sensibilitiy in 3188. There are unforseen mistakes and Michael blows up the suit. There is a nostaligic aspect. Things are still especially urgent. Michael expresses consternation. Things are socially endured. Luckily the planet she crashed on has a breathable atmosphere.

There is no going back. There are new opening credits. This ep had 3 writers. This ep was filmed in Iceland. Book attacks Michael – ffs. Will Book shut up? He is a moral problem. There is an increasingly grave sense that the future is not what it should be. Book has moral entitlement. The Gorn somehow destroyed 2 lightyears worth of subspace. Book talks too much. Book won't help. Why is he such a jerkass?

There is situationism and limited tactical options. There are high audience expectations and Book has quantum slipstream and a cat. Book is hostile and lacks trustworthiness and this was not elegant or intelligent. The UFP is gone. Book has no professional integrity. The UFP collapsed a long time ago after The Burn. With attention comes negativity. The Burn was dilithium blowing up thus ending warp travel. Why did dilithium blow up?

A universe shattering catastrophe is faced every so often in this franchise. There is a CGI city and the asthetic is so 'Star Wars'. There are Andorians and Orions – the make up for whom has gone downhill. There is no community responsibility. Did I see a Talosian? There are personal transporters. Where's the Emperor? Book is implacably awful.

Book needs a kicking. Michael trips and rants. The Andorian and Orion makeup is horrid. Michael punches Book, who has a moral burden. Someone meances his cat. There are silly weapons that look like the doomsday machine. This was not lucid or reasoned. There is a long simmering conflict. Michael has eternal hope. Is Book crucial to the narrative? Where is Ash? There is no social cohesion.

There is no potentiality. Michael has no idea who Book is or what he has done. There are fish. What are the social consequnces of no UFP? Is there a Typhon Pact or is that been ret-gone? There is complexity. Why is Book's head glowing? Why does he have no shirt on? Book is evasive and has no moral claim. What happened to the subspace channels? Book lies and realises Michael is a time traveler.

What were the Temporal Wars? Is the Guardian Of Forever still around? Where is Grudge? Future weapons turn people in ludicrious gibs. So much for 'Star Trek: Picard'. What is in the cargo hold? Is that one of Morn's species? Michael gets swallowed and spat up by an alien monster. Book claims to save endangered species. What are transworms? What is Sanctuary? Transworms are acquatic?

What happened in the 930 years?? When did Michael shower? Why are trees red on Sanctuary? A Federation relay station is visisted. Something of the UFP remains. There are 2 UFP ships out there. There is no mention of the Bureau of Temporal Investigations. There is no Starfleet and a man spent 40 years in his office looking for Starfleet ships. How much of the Federation still exists? The UFP flag is unfurled. The cat is a maine coon. Michael vows to find others and rebuild the UFP. Hope lives again.

Best Lines:

“Activate impact shield!”

“Identify space time location.”

“Is there life here? Anywhere?”

“I do not want your acquaintance!”

“Rocket girl.”

“Our numbers are few.”

“Go back to your own parts.”

“Nowhere to go back to.”

“You have a very large cat.”

“Your cargo used to be someone else's cargo.”

“The Federation. The old days.”

“The heart of every warp capable ship.”

“That's not possible.”

“Believe in that vision.”

“I wouldn't care.”

“Antique vendors.”

“Andorians don't do fun.”

“Gonna go bad.”

“Everybody's got a story.”

“That's not right!”

“Today does not happen to people, ever.”

“Super cool story...completely devastating way.”

“For the sake of creation!”

“Compensating for something?”

“That hope is you.”

“Before the collapse.”

“Not here yet.”

“The Federation fell.”

“I'm not welcome.”

“To ensure the future.”

“Long range sensors failed decades ago.”

“Don't know what we all know.”

“All time travel technology was destroyed after The Temporal Wars.”

Roadkill (2020) 1x01

This boring BBC1 drama stars a balding Hugh Laurie. This was a 'House Of Cards' knockoff. An 'Agents Of SHIELD' actor plays Laurie's sidekick. The opening credits are silly. Laurie plays a politican who had a tough background and just won a libel trial. He has a radio show. A shrill PM annoys.

A reporter is fired for her libel of Laurie. People utter photocopier manual prose. This was not deliciously clever. It is rather ludicrous. This was made with unimpressive intellect. This was not even marginally interesting. This was not psychologically compelling. This drains the joy out of life. The alcho reporter refuses to be fired and is scum. This was eejitry. People have deluded cohorts. Laurie cheats. There is socioapthic distain and this was best forgotten.

Best Lines:

“Not been easy years.”

“Stuck by his writer.”

“At some cost.”

“4 great offices of state.”

“You changed your story. In court. Under oath.”

“Dunkirk, white cliffs, Winston.”

“Drug search.”

“Fatberg in the drain of government.”

“Dirty bedsheets."

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