September 23rd, 2020

Scary Books

Book Review: Final Cuts, part 2

Final Cuts: New Tales Of Hollywood Horror And Other Spectacles edited by Ellen Datlow, part 2


Night Of The Living

A showing of a cult folk horror from the 1970s goes awry. This was mediocrity.


Best Lines:

“That shark movie with Jason Statham,”


“Nobody likes Mikey much.”


“Lost accents.”


“Parade of images he understands.”


“Demands complete agreement or the world will fall apart.”


The One We Tell Bad Children

By Laird Barron. An AU America is the setting for this dark rural horror. This was good.


Best Lines:

“The evil is in the waiting.”


“Visitors were rare and unwelcome.”


“While frowning ominiously.”


Snuff In Six Scenes

A man's murder plot is the nadir of cruelty, but it goes awry for him. This was okay.


Insanity Among Penguins

By Brain Hodge. People go to see a misbegotten bootleg film. The bootleg has something more than sinister aspects, much more. This was very good.


Best Lines:

“Impulse stops.”


“Picking out a movie meant inspecting an artifact on a shelf.”


“With the name of Blockbuster a joke, synonymous with extinction,”


“Their wares clogging landfills.”


“Her kind became an affront to territorial manbabies and neckbeards.”


“You lack for nothing, you spoiled brat.”


“Pasty-faced hoarders.”


“Your existence defined as something else's food.”


“Fatalistically forecasting.”


“Found footage before there was such a genre.”


“Wondered how many of our thoughts were embeds left by generations of screenwriters.”


From The Balcony Of The Idaway Arms

WTF?


Lords Of The Matinee

By Stephen Graham Jones. Told with indiffernt prose, this is the tale of an uncovered murder. This was a disastrous failure.


Best Line:

“Successfully avoided any meaningful interactions with them.”


A Ben Evans Film

By Josh Malerman. A crazy man makes a film. No.


Best Line:

“He hid in the closet.”


My Face Is A Mask

By Christopher Golden. A man seeks out a horror movie prop. This was good.


Best Line:

“Forgotten by everyone.”


Folie A Deux, Or The Ticking Hourglass

WTF?


Best Line:

Grains of sand so ancient the desert it was collected from disappeared millennia ago,”


Hungry Girls

???


Best Line:

“We have nothing else left.”


Cut Frame

By Gemma Files. This is an excellent tale of a fraught encounter with a starlet.


Best Lines:

“Old movies are the dreams of dead people.”


“Provoke destructive obsession in others simply by existing.”


“Between all the questions she wouldn't answer and her lack of friends, it didn't suprise me how it ended.”


“Legally inaccessible.”


“Does that sound terrible? It should.”


“That city is full of cults,”


“Made some unpleasant suggestions.”

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PromNight2

DS9 4x10&4x11+The Deceived 1x04+The Twilight Zone 1x09 Reviewed

Homefront

Sisko and Odo visit Earth due to shapeshifter activity. Sisko's dad (Brock Peters) rants. There is padding with Dax being vapid. Robert Foxsworth plays Admiral Leyton. Why is there an alligator hanging in Joseph Sisko's New Orleans eatery?


Joseph and Jake Sisko have the smae hideous taste in clothes. Cadet Nog shows up. Leyton and his cronies are wilfully deluded and dementedly smug. There is talk of constraints on free movement. There are extras who can't act. Leyton understands himself to be the hero of the story. Nog's been at the Academy for a month and goes on about Red Squad, the new gods on campus.


Leyton has no inkling he is the wicked one. Sisko is calumniated. Nog has misty eyed revernece for Red Squad. Sisko and his dad have sharply conflicting views. There is paranoia – this was made 5 years before 9/11. Sisko is hectoring. Paranoia needs to poor decisions. There is endless outlandishness. There is talk of blood screenings. There is fury, misery and complaining.


Joseph Sisko could not be compelled, until the next ep. There is solemnly silly bad acting by come. The office of the UFP President is in Paris. Moral standing is lost. There are sinister acts. What was to come is hinted at. This was good.


Best Lines:

“Since the last world war.”


“Haven't seen people so nervous since the Borg incident.”


“Wiggle on the way down.”


“With the exception of the Borg incident there hasn't been a state of emergency declared on Earth in a century.”


“Dominion war fleet.”


Paradise Lost

The streets are empty apart from Starfleet security teams. Sisko and Odo are wary of Red Squad. There is no seismic impact and people have undisguised satisfaction and a baleful influence. Susan Gibney guest stars. People act in the most awful ways. There is absolete fear and baddies are quietly exultant.


A smug Red Sqaud cadet is one of the worst people you'd ever meet – as proved by the later ep 'Valiant'. Sisko is assertive. People are rendered stupefied. In the future, there's a system of living that's better and truer. Hostility emanates from Leyton. There are indiscretions. Plotters act in an aggressive and disturbing manner and bring discredit on themselves.


There is a conspiracy and a terrible row. Leyton's plot is earnestly futile. Sisko sees it as his obligation to the stop the baddies. The Defiant fights another Starfleet ship. Why do shapeshifters need starships? Why are Dax, Kira and Bashir all on the Defiant?


Avery Brooks does weird line delivery. 2 Starfleet ships fight. What is Bolian tonic water? Leyton has a breakdown and shakes. This was good.


Best Lines:

“Division of planetary operations.”


“Assigning the entire corps of cadets to field duty.”


“You see any Dominion invasion fleet?”


“Sitting home being bored.”


“We all lose!”


“Made it an issue.”


“Respect my authority!”


“Planning some kind of takeover.”


“Opening down a pandora's box that may never be closed.”


“Under no cirumstances is that ship to reach Earth.”


“Enough loyal officers to make a fight of it.”


~
The Deceived 1x04

Ophelia is, as ever, hysterical. The 'friendly' local isn't helpful. He hands Ophelia over to her abuser and is never seen again. Michael's mother in law knows whats going on. Michael's wife isn't dead. Like doh. This was inadequate. Michael wants his not dead wife's life insurance. Michael is an irresponsible yahoo. There is rancour and arrogance and selfish concern.


This was a calamity. The 'dead' wife is a bitch and Michael is a controlling liar. He and his wife blame others for the life choices they are making now. This was irrational and the wife murdered the student, accidently. FFS. There are many many flashbacks. There is lethal subterfuge, isolation, disillusionment and anger.


There is a conspiracy and reckless and damaging action and adverse reactions. The 'dead' wife has mental health issues. This was dreadful and it has monotonous langour. This was really slipshod and appalling. Women are painfully vulnerable to Michael who is merciless. This was heinous and there are gleeful assessments and vitrolic attidues and ignorance and anti-intellectualism.


This was a completely ridiculous failure. Michael tries to destory any hope people have. There are extraordianry allegations. This was not in any way believable. There is no dire necessity. There are damaging consequences and intolerable challenges in this insufficient ep. People try desperately to foil Micheal. This was not engrossing.


There is increasing wariness and willing acceptance of Michael's crapulence. People are anxious and beleaguered. There is hypocrisy and cruelty. This was underlit and the dastardly Michael dies. They frame the guilty party. There is a one year timejump and Donegal is pronounced wrong. The 'dead' wife takes off and lives in fake 'abroad'. Opehlia was utterly devoted to a nut and had his baby and goes back to college. The 'dead' wife Roisin got away with murdering someone. There was no sense of danger or real tension. The ending hints at a season 2. No, just no.


Best Lines:

“Do what you promised!”


“Too young for him.”


“Some drama.”


“You were a mistake.”


“It's a small village Patrick, everyone's a family friend.”


“Best selling work of genius.”


“What he says about you?”


“You were a mistake.”


“Sick of their envy.”


“Most terrible thing has happened.”


“In his complete control.”


“I have nothing left.”


“Fills your head with lies until theres no space for yourself.”


“Promising anything.”


“You're not talented, you're not even very clever.”


“It's Annabelle that's in that grave!”


~
The Blue Scorpion

Chris O'Dowd has a dead dad and a greedy ex-wife to be. This was.....not good.

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To Light The Way To Bed

Trailers, Quotes & 64 Tape Tales

'The Haunting Of Bly Manor' trailer

No.


'The Trial Of The Chicago 7' trailer


'Dark Skies' opening credits

Sigh.


'Another World' opening credits

Aaah.


'Life' promo

Mmmm.


'Fosters Lager' adverts

Paul Hogan, ha.


MAD TV 'Laguna Botch'

“So much drama!”


Pineapple & black truffle – bland.


Why has Ollie left 'Hollyoaks'?


Poor Tasmania whales.


'Supergirl' ending. Oh thanks Melissa.


Cleared out 62 tapes. 📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼


'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Virus on the march.”


“Unique and fraught realtionship.”


'Danny Dyer On Harold Pinter' Quote:

“Glue sniffing rent boy.”


'RTE News' Quote:

“Alienation from everything.”


“Perilous tipping point.”


'The Simpsons' Quotes:

Throw rocks at that hornets nest.”


“We met in the emergency room when the boys drank that paint.”


'Louis Theroux: Life On The Edge' Quotes:

“Filth peddlers.”


“Real bad guys.”


“Live the way I wanna live.”


“Catcalls and screaming.”


“Gang dropouts.”


“Modern, cosmopolitan and enlightened dude.”


“Hate on us.”


“Crime as it exists out on the streets.”


“Rough areas.”


“Seen the area decline.”


“Violent blocks.”


“He don't live here.”


“Known for its aggressive tactics.”


“Making enemies of other citizens.”


“Your mom ain't here.”


“Don't nobody care.”


“How do you make an appointment with a drug lord?”


“Never shot nobody.”


“More worser people than me.”


“Social collapse.”


“Complete breakdown in trust.”


“Ghastly fascination.”


“Search hard and long.”


“Civil confinement.”


“Notorious crimes.”


“Slimeball person.”


“Street guy.”


“The guns coming out.”


“Perceived to be suspicious.”


“Community in chaos.”


'BBC News' Qutotes:

“Safely returned to sea.”


“Made it out to sea.”


“National sacrifice.”


“Made very powerful people very angry.”


“Some people felt excluded.”


“Exploration plans.”


“Sources of inspiration.”


“Covid secure.”


“Joint resolve.”


'Smallville' Quote:

“What was that drama about?”


'First Man' Quotes:

“Just saying what you're thinking.”

“Maybe you shouldn't.”


'Law & Order' Quotes:

“I'm so bored, I'm working with my eyes closed.”


“Put Angel Dust in his caviar?”


“I think we can rule out a cauliflower.”


'Spooks' Quotes:

“Shut the loos down.”


“James Bond behind a desk.”


“Sending me out to breathe VX.”


“Loony file.”


“Who's the treason against?”


“VHS machine.”


“Destroy the cities, the pure in heart will surive in the hills.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Dramatically changed landscape.”


“Impose a layer of physical modesty.”


“That no longer exists.”


“They are products of it.”


“Aspirational lifestyle.”


“Impact of their presence.”


“Determined to remain estranged.”


“Knocked him out in a fight and abandoned him on a river bank.”


'Evil' Quotes:

“Validity scale.”


“Pretend to be normal.”


“Where's grandma? Have we eaten her?”


“Take that money I still owe you and burn it on my lawn!”


“Didn't murder 7 people because there's a whispering in his house.”


“I prefer the diarrhea question.”


'The Flash' Quotes:

“I have a hangover and a gun.”


“My money needs me.”


'Chateau Chunder' Quotes:

“Taste. Or lack of it”


“Predictable distain.”


“Unfashionable backwater.”


“For the dregs of society.”


“Right kind of accents.”


“Loser's choice.”


'The Fugitive' Quote:

“His yesterdays follow him like an ever-lenghtening shadow.”

Dollanganger

Movie Reviews: Paradise Lost + Slaughterhouse Rulez + Paradise Lost 2: Revelations

Paradise Lost (1996)

This famous HBO documentary brought the West Memphis 3 case to public notice. It shows the railroading of 3 local weirdoes for murder. Southern hicks scream at the camera. This was utterly terrible, full of bizarre behaviour and satanic panic.


There is anguish and wrath. People seem predetermined to find them guilty. Damien Echol's blase attiude didn't help him. The jury paid no heed to the defence and people taunt them. There was malicious mischief,


Best Lines:

“Shedded his blood.”


“Mail him the skirt.”


“I hate those three and the mothers that bore them.”


“Talk about me for years.”


~
Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)

A boy is sent to a very posh boarding school. He is a chav with useless friends. The school has cadets and golf clubs and large grounds. The look and cast and soundtrack were all designed to make this a hit, I don't think it was. There is wine delivery by drone and a student dropped off by force and rampant bullying. There is growing anxiety and a dead pupil. This was woeful, deliberately awful and people are obsessed with discipline, status and image. There is a continuing presnce of a dark history at the leading school. People are happy with their consciences.


Simon Pegg prances along with his fat friend Nick Frost and Michael Sheen of 'Prodigal Son'. There is no credibility or trust just bizarre various school houses. There is no seriousness just hostile bullies. Sheen is the headmaster. This does not fascinate or intrigue. There is hostile public opinion, frakkers and eco warriors. It is joked that Piers Morgan is a past pupil.


Wouldn't the huge frakking tower be more visible and stink out the school? This was catastrophic and people have antiquated notions. Was that Margot Robbie having a cameo as Pegg's love interest? People are annoyed, frustrated, mystified and scathing. Prefects are steadfast in opposition. There is moaning.


There is peer opinion and a disturbing obsession with social norms. This was not hugely important and decisions are made that are evasive and obfuscating. There are ominious noises. What is feathering? There is a school legend. There is no intensity and no higher purpose. This was not brilliantly funny or moving. There are class tensions and a Draco Malfoy looking baddie.


There is a sinkhole and people are callously disregarded. There is no laconic charm. This was the absolete worst. This was laddish and eclusionary. Something emerges and there is an earthquake and powercut. This was absolute nonsense and male gazey. A monster rampages. Teens wield weapons. Things get perilous and there are 'Shaun Of The Dead' homages. Authoritarian rule ends and there is no fulfilment or respect and poeple are adversely affected.


There are irresponsible actions and blood sprays. This was extremely anodyne. Asa Butterfield and Finn Cole feature in this terrible film. What became of the rest of the students and teachers?


Best Lines:

“Welcome to hell.”


“Make our school great again.”


“Practically on the cricket pitch.”


“No go areas.”


“Bit of a weird name for a school.”


“Drove 6 hours there and back.”


“Sit around here doing bugger all.”


“Leaders of tomorrow.”


“Find yourself some trousers.”


“I rather think it's dead don't you.”


“Product of evil men.”


“You're so Northern.”


“Ain't no mundane chasm.”


~
Paradise Lost 2: Revelations (2000)

The original documentary attracted a lot of attention. The 1st film was all about pre-judgment and mob mentality. This is about a hick stepfather doing demented monologues. TPTB won't admit fault. The murders took place in 1993. There is talk of false confessions. The stepfather acts like a crazy man. Melissa, the mother of one of the murder victims has died mysteriously since 1996 and the crazy stepfather fake cries at her grave and later on sings Amazing Grace badly. TPTB refuse to admit error. This was good.


Best Lines:

“Eat the skin off of his face.”


“Dead in hell.”


“His situation is hopeless.”


“Trouble follows him.”


“Not that great of a person.”


“Goth glory.”

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