April 13th, 2020

PromNight2

Book Review: Bella At The Bar: Book One, part 2

How old is Bella? Why isn't she at school? Bella is reduced to begging. Are her 'guardians' her foster parents or her relatives? Why doesn't Bella ever accept help? She's put into care. Her coach bullies her and overlooks child neglect. Every adult is an uncaring grotesque. Bella rejects help and gets a chance to train in Russia, where everyone speaks English.


A bully gets Bella kicked out of the USSR pretty quick which makes Bella a national pariah. Her ghastly carers play up her bad reputation to get in the newspapers. How did they get a beam, vaulting horse and parallel bars into their backyard?


Bella is held in distain. She has soaring ambition in her time of crisis. She's perennially unwelcome and an inevitable target of blame. Bella gets a well wisher. What started out as my mere dislike of this tale has turned into loathing.


Best Lines:

“So shove off.”


“Look at the world's wonder gymnast what got chucked out.”


“You're an utter disgrace to the country.”


“You have let your sport and your country down utterly.”


“It's Kung Fu on the other channel.”


“if Bob Benson, my coach, saw this he'd go mad.”


“My attic window has a broken pane bunged up with rags.”


“I understand not your words.”


“We'll have nothing more to do with you!”


“Bin at them carpets again!”


“This is the little monster! She doesn't look particularly evil.”


“Ruthless character who doesn't care wot she does to win.”


“Can't see nuthin' in that – standing on a beam flapping like an ol' hen on a perch.”


“There's a section called floor work. Wot's that?”


“Now you know the sort she is – real mean.”


“I've spent near an hour and a lot o'cash in the phone box.”


“There's that programme on our regional telly what rights people's wrongs.”


“Kicked out of Russia of all things.”

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Pretty Smart

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'In My Skin' promo

No.


'Star Trek The Next Generation' 3x15 promo

OMG.


Hazelnut Torte choc – yum.

Creme Brulee choc – okay.

Raspberry infusion choc – okay.

Key Limey pie choc – okay.

Extra Dark Lindt - okay.


My ex committed the ultimate betryal with no forgiveness.


RIP Tim Brooke Taylor.


'Maxx' has been dumped by E4 after only 1 ep, well it was crap.


'RTE News' Quote:

“Local people only.”


'48 Hours' Quote:

“Gonna be bad for you.”


'The Simpsons' Quotes:

“Ha! I repeat ha!”


“Sweet batarang Jesus!”


“Begone spoiler boy!”


“Our son is going to choose evil!”


“Telling it like it is. Also a crime now.”


“We're Simpsons Dad. We don't do good behaviour.”


'Dr Phil' Quotes:

“Whatever food I could steal from the dollar store.”


“Throwing cast iron skillets at me.”


“She doesn't want me around anyway.”


'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Everything is so serious right now.”


“Feel anxious, stressed and fatigued right now,”


“'Leave it on the doorstep, then take 10 steps backwards'. It's like a hostage exhange for focking banana bread.”


“Enforced seclusion.”


“Isn't some kind of quirky lifestyle choice.”


"Epochal challenge.”


“Sell us equipment that is purposefully designed to fail.”


“Right to repair.”


“Implied license to operate the vehicle.”


“Isolation will trigger an increase in violent incidents.”


“Nonfiction adherent.”


“A quirky sense of the domestic.”


“Great literary enigma.”


“Low-to-no personal profile.”


“Casting from the street, with an eye for interesting walks and shapes.”


“Apocalyptic anxiety.”


“Eat chocolate in the shape of novelty ovoids.”


“Think of themselves as important-”


“Precious portents of normalcy.”


“Socially ostracised world.”


“A matter of contention.”


“Exaggerated claims.”


“Fails to capture media attention.”


“Devout advocates.”


“Unimaginably hostile alien territory.”


“Cold and arguably psychopathic.”


“End-times obsessives.”


“Wind-blown desolation.”


“Scary situation.”


“Simplistic longing for the return of communal gatherings in churches and union halls and lamentations for the breakdown of the traditional nuclear family.”


“Ailing either physically, mentally or creatively.”


“Grass eater.”


“Quasi-normality reign.”


“Every impropriety was rigorously expelled.”


“Ill-looking strollers of either sex could never get admittance.”


“Blasphemous speaking.”


“No longer have a choice.”


“Succumbing to the virus he tried to warn others about.”


“A few people around who shouldn't be here. It's not right.”


“Life will be as it was.”


'FTWeekened' Quotes:

“Tested friendships, faith and society.”


“Shown to us as some kind of pathology.”


“Drawn value from them.”


“Role models not by their choice-”


“Took what he thought were precautions.”


“Great tide of death had abated.”


“Imperviousness to melancholy.”


“Went about their gloomy work.”


“Re-setters of history.”


“Social alterations.”


“Starkly different experiences.”


“Unwelcome family secrets.”


“Events reminiscent of another age.”


“Feeling bad about their normal lives,”


“Finding more in popular culture than had ever been acknowledged before.”


“Questionable goings-on in the loos.”


“Never wanted to see anybody in his entire life ever again.”


'Hamlet' Quotes:

“Churchywards yawn and hell itself breathes out contagion.”


“Bitter business.”


“I liked him not.”


'Snapped' Quote:

“Somewhat challenging life.”


'RT' Quotes:

“Break social isolation.”


“Not everyone is embracing the necessary changes.”


'Star Trek' (2009) Quote:

“I wish I didn't know you.”


'Zomboat' Quotes:

“All 5 'Twilight' films. Somehow the apocalypse gets worse.”


“You're Patient Zero!”


'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“Breathtakingly insightful evocation of grief.”


“Grief-stricken outbursts of rage.”


“Reckless ambition.”


“Because Russell Brand woulkd be there. I think I'd rather have liver failure.”


“Real-life professional consequences.”


“Gratifyingly fascinated by my pain.”


“Superfically confident and gregarious but conceals his inadequacy and insecurity with vindictive barbs.”


“Shock his audiences into thought.”


“Nothing left to experience except suffering.”


“Impish expectation.”


“Edgy fringe stuff.”


“On the hunt for a posh husband.”


“Irksome frequency.”


“Rationed luxury.”


“Fearless exploration.”


“Prolonged exile from external realities.”


“Worrying concerns.”


“Died in very murky cirumstances.”


“Moral qualms.”


“The wheel of history turned.”


“Rarely his own best advocate.”

“Deep discomfort with our lives.”


“Relentless succession.”


“The devil was under their bed.”


“Inexplicable violence.”


“Malignant turning inwards,”


“Harried their children into insanity.”


“Most damning insult.”


“Great fun to read about but you wouldn't want to spend much time in their company.”


“Conflict situation.”


“Shattering experience.”


“They are not capable of thought.”


'The Sunday Business Post' Quotes:

“Deeply unpleasant end.”


“Endless proscriptions on what may or may not be done, or worn.”


“The requirement to be present and accounted for at all times.”


'A.P. Bio' Quotes:

“Completely unhireable.”


“Fainted mouth first, onto a candle.”


“Dork recon team.”


“Part of the bully crew.”


“My life's a mess? You chose to eat next to trash!”


“Banned from the bookstore for life.”


“Cell phone salesman from the mall kiosk.”


“Disney hobo dogs.”


“The dumb rubs off on us.”


“Revenge date.”


“Far too dramatic.”


“Garbage pile of a town.”


“Turd of a personality.”


“Gateway nudity.”


“Heard your cries for justice.”


“I hate you.”

“Good.”


“Dried up turd town.”

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Meechum

Movie Reviews: Through My Father's Eyes+Hellbound: Hellraiser II+Tunes Of Glory+ 4 others 🪓🪓🪓🪓

Ronda Rousey Story: Through My Father's Eyes (2019)

There is ponderous narration in this sports documentary. Ronda was born in 1987 and conquered the UFC, the Olympics and the WWE. A guy called the godfather of grappling is one of many talking heads interviewed. MMA is discussed. Ronda's mother was a Judo world champion in 1984 (and later got a phd) and Ronda won an Olympic bronze medal.


Sleazy looking dudes talk. She was a Hulk Hogan fan. She had speech issues as a child and was home schooled and there was a death in her family. Is this objective truth? This was incongruous and there is grappling. There is no fearsome candour and this was not warmly received. This was not engaging and detailed.


This was not endearingly frank. She went to the Beijing Olympics where she became the 1st American woman to win a medal in Judo. This does not substantially engage with the topic in any meaningful way.


Best Lines:

“Kick us.”


“Managing my anger fine.”


“Fear the wrath of my mother.”


“Not so well.”


“Off she went to Athens.”


~
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

Doug Bradley, Clare Higgins and Ashely Laurence star in this sequel. Bradley looks odd without his Pinhead make up. There is a big reveal that Pinhead the Hell Priest was once human. There is prurience and viciousness by gross guys who you're probably fortunate enough not to know. There is impending doom and flashbacks.


People are blank eyed with terror. A monstrously callous evil shrink runs a nut ward. Unutterably vile things happen. A girl named Tiffany doesn't speak but she solves puzzles. The nut house is a deathtrap confinement. There is dejection and this franchise has no brilliant provocation only cultish appeal. There is no grim undercurrent of fear. There is lingering disquiet. Where is the daughter's boyfriend? There is an onslaught of violence.


Pinhead is a bone chillingly merciless enemy. There is madness, horror and existential dread. The shrink has monstrous self regard which leads to lamentable consequences. Julia is revived and she has obsessive lust. How did the daughter know the phrase Cenobites? There are terrible and evil choices in this rather charmless film.


The Cenobites do things to you against your will but also make you enjoy it. There are petty concerns and pointless follies by the irresponsible shrink. How did the shrink find so many puzzle boxes? Who made all the puzzle boxes? This was wearily simplistic. This tries for an intense, disorienting, suffocating atmosphere.


The shrink has sheer malevolence and fantastical events take place unnoticed. Various people are in a doomed institutional spiral. There is body horror and splatterpunk which is not evocatively portrayed. This is diarrheal in places. The shrink does not examine his emotions and actions. The daughter heads back to her house, which is different. Julia (who was supposed to be the big bad of the franchise) and the shrink trick the mute girl into opening the puzzle box.


Pinhead gets a big dramatic backlit entrance. Pinhead sees through the trick, it is desire that calls them. Pinhead and co then wander off. The daughter runs into hell with no expression of dread. Hell is underlit. She is bereft. Poor dumb Larry was doomed to hell by being murdered. Pleading and begging for mercy will do no good. Julia wears 80s earrings. Hell is a bad matte painting and imprecations are screamed.


There is unsuppressed anger and Julia's a bitch. What life has brought her to. The pervy bad touch uncle is in hell. There is bad VFX. Tiffany finally speaks. The daughter, Kirsty, saw a photo of a solider and somehow recognises him as Pinhead. Cenobites can die. The evil shrink, Channard, kills them all including Pinhead.


One Cenobite was a teenage boy. The usurper Channard doesn't last long. Pinhead came back in the sequels. The VFX is plastic looking. WTF was the ending scene?


Best Lines:

“Messed up real bad.”


“My father's wife.”


“Your suffering will be legendary even in hell.”


“Hell was what he wanted and hell was what he got.”


“Julia. That bitch.”


“When I think, I hurt.”


“This is terrible.”


“This is my hell.”


“You belong to me.”


“He is in his own hell child and quite unreachable.”


“We have eternity to get to know your flesh.”


“The god I serve in this world and yours. The god of flesh, hunger and desire.”


“Lord of the Labyrinth.”


“And to think, I hesitated.”




~
Tunes Of Glory (1960)

Wihout virtue.


Best Line:

“Horrible little filthy man you.”


~
Carry On Up The Khyber (1968)

There are cod-Indian accents and much talk of underpants in this spoof. There are multifarious consequences to idiot Brits abroad. People expect the worst and there are societal and moral implications and talk of Tiffin. This was okay.


Best Lines:

“No need for antagonism.”


“Taken your woman.”


“Destroy our reputation for toughness.”


“Call me an elephant.”


~
Jackals (2017)

This horror is set in the 1980s and is apparently based on a true story. This was okay. A young man, Justin, is 'rescued' from a cult by his family. He treats his dad, mom, brother, girlfriend and baby daughter with distain. A cult deprogrammer issues orders and is utterly ineffective. The mom has bad cosmetic surgery and the cult wants him back. The 'rescued' son looks and talks like a junkie, a murderous cultist wears a belly shirt and there is death and violence. Unfortunately for society, the cult's reign of violence will go on.


Best Lines:

“Turn into a complete lunatic.”


“Wasn't paying attention to his life.”


“Rejoin the psycho brigade.”



~
The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)

A mysterious mist changes a man. He shrinks and turns into an abusive cheating jerk. What happened to the cat? This was not good.


~
Rough Night (2017)

Sorority girls all grown up party and kill a stripper in this fetid mess.


Best Lines:

“Swimming in dick!”


“When the pepperspray hits your face and it will; keep your mouth closed tight!”


“Would some more cocaine make you feel better?”

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Scary Books

Batwoman 1x03 + STTNG 3x15 + The Act 1x02 Reviewed 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Down Down Down

Gabriel Mann guest stars as Tommy Elliot the future bad guy Hush. Sadly he's not very effective. Jacob and Sophie are moral vacuums. I don't care about Sophie or her petty and personal motivations. Luke Fox bores. Kate draws bad attention. Sophie is nauseating and the future Flamebird, Mary, bores. Tommy Elliot is a malign influence.


This show needs to kill off Sophie. She's just awful and given to brutal slights. It's been a few weeks since 1x01. Tyler bores. Sophie is an emotionally trying liar. Kate chats up a blonde bartender. Jacob is not insightful or erudite. Alice plays the cello and the evil stepmother needs to go. Tommy and Bruce were BFFS? This was mmm.


Kate suits up in her red detailed suit. Where did she get the wig? Ruby Rose looks great and very comic accurate in the suit. How does the wig stay on? Tommy is lame.


Best Lines:

“Your batsuit knock off.”


“Subtle.”


“People the city'll actually miss.”


“I want Batman not his sidepiece.”


“Bat chick.”


“What is this?”

“Not yours.”


“Enjoy your new life.”


“I won't let you forget me Commander, not again.”


“The villain of your story be the hero of your city.”


“Kick his ass on your behalf.”


“Taking you to Arkham Tommy. Good luck buying your way out of that.”



~
Yesterday's Enterprise

The Enterprise C emerges through a rift in time changing history. The Enterprise D now looks better with better darker lighting and snazzier uniforms. There is no Worf or Troi. Why is Guinan still there? Guinan and her never explained powers knows something is wrong. Tasha Yar is back.


The Enterprise D is a battleship and the Enterprise C had a great impact on peace between the UFP and the Klingons. Riker shouts. War rages between the UFP and Klingons to the death of one or the other of them. The Enterprise D is fighting against impossible odds and the immensity of the disaster isn't widely known.


The new layout of the Enterprise D bridge is far better. Picard has over confidence in his own righteousness. The Enterprise C was meant to be destroyed defending a Klingon outpost from 4 Romulan warbirds 22 years ago. The Enterprise C agrees to go back in time and set history right. They took on 4 warbirds!


So the UFP/Klingons were still working on the peace treaty 22 years ago? What about 'The Undiscovered Country'? There are 6000 troops on the Enterprise D. Tasha has a differnt hairstyle. Hair gel must be a requisite. 40 billion have died in the war. Picard bellows. Only rations called TKLs are served. Tasha gets a boyfriend from among the Enterprise C crew.


Of course the female captain of the Enterprise C is disposable. What is a time rift? This was okay. Tasha Yar learns of her stupid death in 'reality' so goes back in time with the Enterprise C. But she didn't die with the C and ended up on Romulus and had a half Romulan daughter: Sela. Riker dies, Wesley is a child solider and the Enterprise C moves very very slowly back into the rift. The D's bridge goes on fire. Luckily all is well.


Best Lines:

“Where and when they are.”


“Military log. Combat date.”


“Alter the flow of our history.”


“A federation starship rescuing a Klingon outpost might have averted 20 years of war.”


“1 ship could have stopped this war before it started.”


“There is no more.”


“I'm not seeking your consent.”


“Weren't meant to know each other at all!”


“This is not the way it's supposed to be.”


“Far worse than is generally known.”


“Defeat is inevitable.”


“I don't want you here.”

The battle bridge...


~
Teeth

A doctor sees through Dee Dee. A social worker visits and Gypsy is drugged to prevent questions. Dee Dee has Gypsy's teeth taken out. Dee Dee makes it all about her. This was BAD. Gypsy is an idiot.

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