April 6th, 2020


Book Review: The Breach + A Question Of Holmes

The Breach by M.T. Hill

Is this sci fi or cosmic horror? Or both? This British novel is set in a near future where things are the same but things have changed. A reporter and a steeplejack have stumbled across something. A mysterious photo of the said something attracts attention and questions. The photo was taken in an equally mysterious bunker, in which something dwells. This all leads to an inescapable conclusion.

This was good. Nothing is fully explained, only hinted at via rising trepidation. There are dark moments laced with fear and meance. What lies at the terrible dark heart of the bunker? Is it aliens? The darkest connotations can be read into the ending. There are unpredictable threats in this novel but no calm or rational approach. The ending leaves you despairing and disconsolate. Nobody has any idea of the consequences that would entail. This was good and menacing with an unnerving sense.

Best Lines:

“If her life was dredged when her ex finished with her, the silt is yet to settle.”

“Inextricable binding.”

“Terrible purpose.”

“Affect mysteriousness.”

“No dial-backs.”


“Absolute state of you.”

“That all of these things happened, and are true, have been caused.”

A Question Of Holmes by Brittany Cavallaro

The 4th and allegedly final 'Charlotte Holmes' novel is good. Holmes and Watson are at Oxford. She's still annoying and he's still her willing ally. There is trouble afoot at Oxford and reasonable suspicion. There are selfish reacitons and Charlotte is insincere and non-conciliatory. She got into Oxford but can't be bothered to attend class. There are secrets and all consumming need.

People critique aspects of Charlotte's personality and she's deliberately catastrophising and trading off other's misery. Charlotte is a horrible pompous person who's nihilistically sensational. Her and Watson's 'romance' isn't about healthy communication, accountability or emotional intelligence. Holmes causes personal devastation and her actions inflict pain on those around her. She tells self serving lies.

There are ominious cirumstances at Oxford and Watson is devoted to the unknowable unstable narcissist who is deeply impactful on him. There is no self actualisation. People make unwise decisions and there are unpleasant truths, multigenerational grievances, relentless anxiety and benevolent disagreement.

Charlotte pushes the boundaries of what others consider acceptable behaviour and it comes to a neat ending. This has no original insight and it is fully of ghastly Americanisms and warped sociology. But it is enoyable. Charlotte is dependably self destructive and there is a retcon and the legacy of the OG Holmes and Watson continues to harm later generations and Jamie Watson continues to live with the consequences.

Best Line:

“Some future that only you see.”

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Scary Books

Batwoman 1x02 + Supernatural 14x02 + Continuum 3x12&3x13 Reviewed

The Rabbit Hole

Where is the batmobile? Homeless people are everywhere. Jacob sneers at Kate and doesn't listen. A Crows traitor lurks. Alice is spite fuelled. What happened to Beth after the car wreck that made her into Alice? Jacob does shameful and callous bullying and makes Kate's life as wretched as possible. He silences, bullies and undermines Kate. There is an eerie emptiness to him.

Will Luke Fox shut up? Lucius Fox is his dad. Sophie annoys and is rampantly selfish. Jacob is embarrassingly empty and Alice yells a little louder. Jacob contemptuously mocks. Alcie has nefarious plots.

Sophie is a hideously awful person. Jacob has little redeeming value and is unimaginably awful. Kate's stepsister Mary babbles. Jacob is immensely cruel and savagely critical and there is no excuse. Kate is unheard in her own family and she does not exist to them. Sophie sellls Kate out AGAIN and then has the nerve to tell Kate that they aren't a couple anymore.

Sophie and Jacob exacerbate hatred. Beth's lingering abscence damaged the family. Jacob is quarrelsome. Robin is mentioned. Which Robin? Kate's stepsister Mary whines. Jacob does furious condemnation. Luke bores. The evil stepmother is evil. There is a brutal crisis and Sophie has worrying vagueness. This was okay.

Best Lines:


“A hero that isn't here?”

“Be more terrifying than your enemy.”

“Surely someone will come and save me.”

“Dramatic splash.”

“Chocolate covered garbage.”

“Not the girl you expected me to be.”

“Was it Robin's high school graduation?”

Gods And Monsters

Sam bores. Mary is the worst. Exposition is spewed. Jack bores. Lucifer's former host bores. Sam and Bobby harass a woman. Michael bores. Castiel talks and mentions how he stole his host's body and how his host is 'dead'. Jack is awful. Michael leaves. This show should have ended in season 5,

Best Line:

“All angels have to in order to walk the earth.”

The Dying Minutes

Kiera plots, badly. Alec whines. Various characters run around doing stuff I do not care about. Liber8 plot, badly. Carlos' boss plots and Carlos is pointless. Alec is a threatening maniac. This was all nastiness. Alec whines. Alec's brother bores. Alec is told what a piece of crap he is. There is bloody murder. Dillion is blown up. This sucked.

Last Minute

Is Kiera screwing the guy who killed the alternate timeline version of herself? That's just weird. Alec has the time travel device. What about Alec's brother being the creator of Liber8? That whole plot seems forgotten. There is talk of a beacon. I don't care about their drama. Alec is foiled after he smugs. This was stupid. Alec gets knifed. Kiera messes up, again.

Best Line:

“I've seen the future Alec and you're not in it.”

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Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Burnt By The Sun' promo


'The Act' promo


'Passengers' promo


'Through My Father's Eyes' promo


Cheese popcorn – mmmm.

Butter popcorn – yum.

Salted popcorn – okay.

I want a Wild Atlantic easter egg.

My ex came disguised as something other.

I'd try a salt-baked pineapple.

Batgirl in 'Titans' season 3?

Who saw 'The Swimmer' or 'Clockwise'?

Kevin Spacey was the voice of Adam in 'Soapdish'.

I want a straw capline hat with a sinamay bow and a black windowpane Breton hat with blocked silk veiling and bow. I want a little black straw disc hat. I want a Bregret watch. I want a Fendi Fab bag and a Lady D-Lite bag.

'The Big Show Show' is terrible and it has a warning for dangerous behaviour.

Best Line:

“Sea beef.”

'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“No one seems to believe him.”

“Waiting for the dead.”

“Desperetly unwell.”

“Classroom politics.”

“Degree of sedation to tolerate that.”

“That bed and the door key is taken.”

“Doing my washing.”

“Sleeping bag in a doorway.”

“Access to airspace.”

“Zinc-lined coffin.”

“Running out of burial space.”

'Hello Girls' Quotes:

“she didn't have the key to the locks he kept on the pantry.”

“All of Kingville knew that Lucille's family was trash.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:


“I can't imagine this thing coming to Foxrock.”
“Yeah, it's not public transport, mom. Or a drive-thru Krispy Kreme. It's a global pandemic – and you're not going to stop it by writing to the council and saying we don't consider such things appropriate for an area like this.”

“If I see Ginny coming, I'd cross the road, pandemic or no pandemic.”

“What do you think it runs off? The evil in your soul?”

“You don't know how to use a hoover?”

“I know you push it about the palce.”

“Matt Damon got stranded on Mars and had to grow spuds out of his own faeces. If this sounds appealing to you,”

“Bleak transformation.”


“Dysfunctional beliefs.”

“Trauma-panic mode.”

“Deleterious effects.”

“Cognitive reasoning is out the window.”

“I can't have it in our lives.”

“Ignores the situation.”

“He never really genuinely apologises and gets so angry.”

“He treats them terribly and hates them for some reason that he will never tell me.”

“Chosen coping mechanisms.”

“Interact with them respectfully.”

“Refuses to acknowledge these realities or account for them.”

“Life is not going to be returning to normal as soon as might have been expected.”

“Grim truth.”

“Now it has all stopped.”

“Certain things happening everyday.”

“Unable to console him.”

“Contacted them in distress.”

“Don't see you as a threat.”

“Some of whom cough at me to show me what their cough is like.”

“Juxtaposition of dread, forced jollity and grim governement health warnings.”

“Biblical pestilence.”

“So dour and so politically correct.”

“Great cities collapse and crumble.”

“See disaster everywhere.”

“Unwanted houseguests.”

“What would it have been like to have this think coming toward you?”

“Left very few clues as to himself.”

“What a terrible assumption to make.”

“Tragic fate.”

“Restored a character lost to obscurity.”

“Unfairly treated in historiography.”

“Couldn't understand how there was so much vilification towards her.”

“So much criticism, extrapolated from so little.”

“Very challenging society to live in.”

“Held in contempt.”

“Still paying for the dreadful decisions that came after that moment.”


“His role as the annoying, spoiled kid in every teen movie ever made.”

“Not in happy home situations.”

“List of enemies.”

“Many, many enemies.”

“Their own crazy agendas.”

“Natural animosity.”

“Prophetic in his topics.”

“How easily shocked we were back then.”


“Having an image is more rewarding than being a person.”

“Defining moment in a life that may have made the subject into a great man.”

“All he did was fall in love with me, and the world turned him into a monster.”

“Until the evening she tried to run away.”

“No safety at home.”

“The damage they do is every bit as shattering.”

“People don't willingly invite tyrants into their lives.”

'FTWeekend' Quotes:

“Foreign speak.”

“Pathogen carriers, also known as humans,”

“Just about disinguished enough to neck on a park bench while arguing with a pigeon.”

'BBC News' Quote:

“Question where drivers are going.”

'48 Hours' Quotes:

“That's enough of that crap.”

“The grim headlines they became.”

'Talking Movies' Quotes:

“A future that nobody's quite bargained for.”

“A vaccine or perhaps Brad Pitt.”

“Love him awful.”

“Forget to cancel.”

'Zomboat' Quotes:

“If we're not back in 2 hours just wait longer.”

“What was dodgy was telling the DJ you'd fight him if he didn't put on some Coldplay.”

“Who wants an Argos necklace?”

“Is there anyone you do like?”


“Infected zombie water.”

“How is food relevant?”

“Pesticide load.”

'The Mitchell And Webb Look' Quotes:

“They keep us alive for their sport.”

“Blessed be the regulations.”

“Voltage calmed.”

'The Sunday Times' Quotes:

“A purgatory of uncertainty.”

“Pleading ambiguity.”

“Warped his moral chocies.”

“Unforgiveable behaviour.”

“Not-very-threatening hippie mantra.”

"Scouring Twitter for Trump's latest ourbursts.”

“Preparing for societal collapse.”

“Implied obligation.”

“Enforced dependency.”

“Face contorted with fury.”

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Movie Reviews: Unstoppable + Hellraiser + Tell

Unstoppable (2019)

This is an okay documentary about Bethany Hamilton. She is a surfer who famously had an arm bitten off by a 14 foot tiger shark in 2003. There is endless footage of surfing and babbling. In places this can be a ghastly business of smarmy vapid people. She wanted to be a pro surfer. The shark was killed.

Bethany is filmed cutting grapefruit with her feet. She talks to a surfer who lost his lefg. There can be vacuousness. Bethany went on Oprah and surfed again 3 weeks later. There is talk of a surf world tour. We see people loading surf boards onto a bus. People surf in France. Bethany poses on a table.

Bethany is reactive and wrote a book about the abrupt derailing of her normal life. She did tv and was in 'Dolphin Tale 2'. There is endless media coverage. There is a headline about her: Surf Bite Girl. The loses at competitions. A movie 'Soul Surfer' is made about her. She got married and was photographed underwater.

Her pro surf career didn't happen. She does ariel surfing and gets to decide how she lives her life. What is a front air reverse? This is pretty to look at but is not absolutely essential viewing. There is nice underwater and surfing footage. Bethany has a baby in 2015 and surfed whilst pregnant. Post-partum surfing causes discontent. She has a health specialist and lifts weights and surfs.

She gets wild card entries to surf contests and is surfing again 7 weeks after birth. She overcame the devastating scenario of losing an arm. The drastic previously unthinkable change was overcome. She faced challenges for which she had no contingency plans. She has a deep seated tendency to do difficult things.

A pro career is not sustainable. Sometimes she feels a sense of futility. She has a sense of ease and poise on the board. There is a training montage and Bethany doesn't like the world disabled. She surfs a massive wave where drivers pull them out to waves. This film was funded by Kickstarter!

Best Lines:

“Great connection with the ocean.”

“Couldn't duck dive.”

“Get under the white water.”

“Padding out with one arm.”

“Paddle surfing.”

“Unfulfilled goals.”

“Fiji pro.”

“Iconic waves.”

“Just trashed from giving birth.”

“Most dangerous wave in the world.”

Hellraiser (1987)

Andrew Robinson of 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine', Ashely Laurence and Dog Bradley star in this low budget badly written cult horror. This was written and directed by the wildly untalented hack Clive Barker. A sweaty man in a vest opens a puzzle box. His name is Frank and he has predatory behaviour and little regard for the consequences.

There is 80s hair and Julia regards her hubby Larry (Robinson) with unfriendly eyes and boffs his brother Frank. Larry and Julia moved into a grotty house where the vividly cruel Frank fell foul of some supernatural beings. There is 80s fashion and 80s phones. Frank is shady. Workmen are perverts and the stepmother Julia is evil and has barbed civility which leads to barbarity.

Nobody notices the festering horror in the attic? Julia is bizarre; she's willing to murder for the awful Frank. There is bad acting and disregard for logic. The hopelessly mean Julia is unhesitant about murder. This is not scandalously degenerate. Julia has cold assurance. Doug Bradley is barely in this as Pinhead, but he became the star of the franchise. The idiot dad dies, Frank gets got and this was bad.

Best Lines:

“Probably behind bars some place.”

“Stuff in the kitchen you wouldn't believe.”

“It opens doors.”

“No tears please, it's a waste of good suffering.”

Tell (2014)

Milo Ventimiglio and Katee Sackhoff star. A bad boy con has a stash of stolen money. People want that money. Bad people. This was dull.

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